One worry…
Oh, God.
She stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth dropping open as she stared at Tommy. For the first time ever in her life she did have to worry about having a baby out of wedlock. She could have gotten pregnant last night.
Her knees went out from beneath her and she stumbled, barely catching herself on the table. Everyone looked up, but her mind was still in the grips of terror. A child? She could have a child.
The idea of having Robert’s baby was not so awful. She could imagine an impish little boy with his chocolate eyes and the devil’s own determination to get into mischief. The idea was not so repellent. In truth, she rather liked it. But they weren’t married. They’d never be married. And the idea of raising a baby alone had her looking over to Penny in horror.
How many days lately had she looked at the girl and shaken her head, wondering how she would survive? A woman alone with a baby? At least she was getting work now with Helaine, but that was precious little income at the moment. Barely enough for food, but not for anything else. Now that could be Helaine. Increasing while she tried to speak with clients. Trying to nurse a child while sketching dress designs. It couldn’t work.
“’Ey, now! Sit down. Sit down.” That was Wendy, her long fingers catching her arm. Penny rushed to her other side, and soon they guided her to a chair. She collapsed into it, her body unable to do more than stare at the floor. What was she going to do?
“Mrs. Mortimer?” Penny crouched down in front of her. “Do you need some water? Are you dizzy? What’s—”
Helaine gripped the girl’s arm. “How do you do it? A babe and no family? How do you face the day?”
Penny blinked, her expression shifting from concern through confusion only to end with a resigned shrug. “I have you,” she answered honestly. “This work and your mother.”
“But we’re not enough.” She looked to her mother. “Not nearly enough.”
Her mother understood. Helaine could see it in her eyes, the fear and the confidence all mixed together. But in the end, she appeared resolved as she lifted Tommy into her arms. “Of course we’re enough,” she said firmly. “Right here, we’re four strong women with a place of business. Of course we’re enough.”
“But—”
“No buts, Helaine. We are enough. You are enough.”
It was then that Wendy caught on. Her eyes widened, and she touched Helaine’s arm. “Coo, you went and did it.”
Helaine nodded.
“And was it everthing you thought?”
Her mouth curved into a smile as she remembered. “More. It was so much more.”
And then Penny figured it out. “With his lordship? Redhill?” She let out a low whistle. “He’s a handsome one. And he’ll take good care of you and a babe.”
“At the time, I wasn’t thinking about a child,” she whispered. Truthfully, she hadn’t been thinking much at all except that it all felt so wonderful.
Meanwhile, her mother patted her hand. “We’re looking too far ahead. There isn’t any baby yet.”
“But what if there is?”
Penny released a light trill of laughter. It was surprising really how carefree the sound was. Given everything she faced in life, she sounded so lighthearted. Enough that it caught Helaine’s attention. But before she could ask what was so funny, Penny answered.
“Never ask that.”
“What?”
“That’s how I get by. I never ask, ‘what if.’ I always ask, ‘what is.’” She smiled. “So are you pregnant now?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then don’t ask. Ask what is the problem today.”
It sounded like ridiculous advice to Helaine, but a moment later it was clear that Penny hadn’t intended it as advice. One look at Wendy’s face and she saw that there was a problem today.
“What happened?”
Wendy snorted. “That baroness and her sister happened, that’s what.”
Helaine frowned. “Lady Gwen’s future in-laws?”
Penny nodded. “They’ve changed their minds on everything. Different colors, different styles, different shoes. Everything.” She pointed to a different side of the workroom where a pile of fabrics and sketches lay scattered about. It was the baroness’s pile and apparently it had all changed.
Helaine pushed up to her feet, her mind wholly distracted. “Why would they do that?”
“We don’t know,” said Penny. “That’s today’s problem—”
“And wot we need you to find out,” said Wendy. Then she corrected herself before anyone else could. “What you need to find out.”
Helaine frowned, mentally working through the different dress designs that had already been selected. “They want more frills, more bows, don’t they? Brighter colors—”
“And gems and lace everywhere.”
Helaine groaned. “That will look awful on them.”
“We know!” said both Wendy and Penny at the exact same time.
“All right,” Helaine said as she pushed to her feet. Her fears had lost their grip. Penny was right. As far as she knew, she wasn’t pregnant now. So she would deal with today’s problem. And that meant heading off certain fashion disasters before they happened. “Do you have any of their gowns ready?”
“One each.”
“And how long for you to make five big bows of loud colors?”
Penny and Wendy glanced at each other. “Fifteen minutes,” they said almost at the same instant.
“Do it. And I’ll wrap up the dresses. I will do what we did with Francine. Dress them up how they want, then do it how I want.”
“Will it work, you think?”
Helaine bit her lip, running over all her experiences with the entire party, including Gwen. “I think so,” she finally said. “I think they are bored and looking for fun wherever they can.”
“So you’ll set them to rights?” asked her mother. “Before they drive all of us to distraction?”
Helaine shrugged. “I can certainly try.”
And then after it was done, she would have a long conversation with Robert. Whether or not she was pregnant, they had to make provisions for the future. Or take measures to prevent it. Either way, it required a quiet tête-à-tête with him. And given the way the last one ended, she was abruptly very interested in getting on with her day. The sooner she finished with Gwen’s relations, the sooner she could find some very private time with Robert.
Chapter 22
By the time Robert made it home, he almost wished he hadn’t. Dribbs met him at the door with a look of long suffering. Robert was about to ask what the problem was when he heard the noise. Women’s chatter. Loud, continuous, and on the edge of contentious. A gaggle of geese made less noise.
“What happened?” he asked. Good Lord, he had to raise his voice just so Dribbs could hear him.
“Wardrobe adjustments were requested. Designs have been altered. Colors discussed. And every maid in the house has been commandeered to assist.”
“Really?”
Dribbs took care as he set Robert’s gloves and hat on the stand. “All the maids from next door have joined as well.” Then there was the sound of running feet down the back staircase. “I believe that is Lady Westland’s dresser.”
Robert frowned. “Lady Westland? From down the street?”
“Indeed.”
“That’s a lot of women.”
Dribbs didn’t need to answer. His expression was more than enough to convey his opinion.
“Never fear,” Robert said as much to reassure himself as Dribbs. “The wedding is two weeks away. They shall all be gone after that.”
“Really?” Dribbs returned. “I thought they intended to stay for the Season.”
Robert thought back. Oh, yes, that was true. “Well, yes, but they won’t be in this house.”
“I believe they mentioned parties with your mother. I believe,” he added, giving Robert a baleful eye, “that you encouraged the idea.”
Oh, right. That was also true. “Er, well, yes. But the Season won’t last forever. It’ll be over in…in…”