Yes, Helaine could well imagine that they had quite the opinions about that. “But what is that—”
“And do you know, they said my breasts were too small and that I should plump them because Edward likes big breasts.”
“Well, that’s certainly impertinent—”
“And the very next day they said my breasts were too large! That he preferred smaller ones and I should stop eating turnips!”
Helaine frowned. “Turnips?”
“One said it fills the chest, the other claimed it simply broadened the hips, and then they started to quarrel about the merits of turnips in stews. It was all I could do to keep myself from throwing every turnip in the cellar right at their heads!”
Helaine couldn’t keep herself from laughing. “Is that why Dribbs was muttering about turnips? I heard him distinctly this afternoon saying he was going to be sure to serve them for dinner.”
Gwen’s eyes widened with shock. “Truly? Do you think they will eat a meal at their house then?”
“I’m sure that was Dribbs’s hope.”
“Mine, too!” she whispered. Then she dropped her head into her hands and moaned. “So you see why I can’t get married. I just can’t!”
Helaine leaned forward, gently pulling Gwen’s hands away from her face. “No, sweetheart, I really don’t understand. What has any of this to do with your marriage?”
It took a moment for Gwen to respond. Her body was so defeated that it seemed to take true effort for her to get the words out.
“They told me yesterday, but I didn’t believe it until Edward said it was true.”
“What was true?”
“I knew we might have care of his sister. Connie is very sweet, you know, when she’s away from them. And she’ll be coming out soon. Maybe get married.”
Helaine nodded. She had seen flashes of real understanding from Edward’s sister. But the girl was often drowned out by her mother and aunt. “I do like Connie,” she said. “But I don’t understand what—”
“They’re going to live with us! Not just his mother but his aunt, too! Both of them! Forever!”
“Oh!” gasped Helaine, at last understanding the problem. “Oh, my.”
“I can’t do it! I just can’t. I can’t stand having them next door—how will I manage with them in my own home? I won’t be able to escape them ever. And I won’t even have Dribbs to serve turnips!”
Gwen flung herself into her pillow again, releasing a full-fledged scream into the depths of the feather stuffing. Helaine rested her hand on the girl’s back, her sympathies fully engaged. Gwen was indeed facing a rather difficult married life if a solution couldn’t be found. But surely there was a logical answer to this dilemma. Even knowing that Gwen had probably already thought of everything, Helaine started at the beginning.
“Have you told Edward that you would prefer a separate household?”
Gwen rolled over in her bed. “Yes, it was the first thing I said, most delicately of course.”
“Of course. And what did he say?”
“That he would, too, but the baronetcy cannot afford a separate establishment at present. And besides…” She heaved a dramatic sigh. “He loves his mother and wants to see her happy. Worse, he’s a good English boy. He won’t banish his mother. He’s not that cruel.”
“Even if it’s a choice between you and her?”
Gwen stared glumly at the wall. “Would you ask the man you love to make that choice? Between you and his mother?”
Helaine shook her head. No, she could never force Robert to make that choice. It would tear him apart.
“Very well then, we shall have to think of something else. Have you talked to his mother? Perhaps she could be persuaded—”
“I tried. All she could talk about was how she will be such a help once the babies are born.”
“Hmm. And how large is Edward’s home? Perhaps it could be separated somehow.”
“Two floors, five bedrooms including the nursery.”
“Oh, that does sound rather tight.”
Helaine continued to ask questions, racking her brains for a solution, but none presented themselves. In the end, she was forced to concede defeat…of a sort. She gripped Gwen’s hands and heaved a dramatic sigh. “Well, that’s it then,” she said. “I can see only one solution.”
Gwen’s shoulders drooped. “I cannot marry him.”
“No, silly. You must talk with Edward.”
“But I can’t make him choose!”
“And it is better to simply decide for him? To end the engagement without allowing him the chance to find a solution?”
Gwen bit her lip. “No. Of course not.”
“And there is one more thing,” Helaine said slowly. “It is a great secret that I discovered only this morning.”
“You are going to tell me something I already know, aren’t you?”
Helaine smiled. “Yes, probably. It is that love can make the most terrible things acceptable. Things that I never thought I would do, choices I never thought I’d make—good and bad—they have happened because of love.”
Gwen nodded, obviously thinking hard. Helaine hoped that she was taking the message to heart—that no matter what happened with Edward’s mother and aunt, Gwen’s love for him would make it all worthwhile. That was what she was trying to say, but a moment later, she realized that Gwen’s mind had gone in a completely new direction.
“You have fallen in love with my brother, haven’t you?”
“What?” Helaine gasped, shocked that Gwen was so perceptive.
“All my friends have, you know. One after another, they have pined after him.”
Really? How terribly mortifying to discover that she was a cliché. “Well, he is rather handsome.”
“I know he has been attentive to you.” Gwen peered at her face. “So you and he…You have become his mistress?”
Helaine nodded. “Do you mind terribly?”
“Yes!” Gwen snapped. “I should like nothing better than for you to be my sister, but you deserve better than him!”
Helaine shook her head, her words solidifying her decision. “There is no one better than your brother. And I shall take what happiness I can with him now.”
Gwen moaned and she gripped Helaine’s hands. “But you deserve to marry! I think my mother has soured him on marriage. He doesn’t want to be saddled with another like her.”
Helaine understood that completely. If Robert were anything like her own father, she wouldn’t have given him the time of day. “Perhaps that is why we suit. I shall never be a burden to him.” That was the role of a mistress, after all. To pleasure a man while it was good, and to be set free when it was not.
“But you deserve better!” Gwen repeated, her vehemence surprising.
Helaine frowned. “I am only a dressmaker, Gwen. No one thinks I deserve better than exactly what I have.”
Gwen pressed her lips together, her expression both sad and defiant at the same time. Helaine waited it out. She knew whatever it was would come out eventually. Still, when it finally did, she was surprised by the anger that throbbed in the words.
“I do not know who you were, Mrs. Mortimer, but I know you are more than just a dressmaker. Even if you had the most wretched past, I would not care. I like you. You are smart and talented. You have helped me when my own mother could not. So I say it again, my brother is an idiot and you deserve better!”
Helaine looked into Gwen’s eyes, and more than anything in the world, she wanted a life she couldn’t have. She wanted Gwen as her sister, and Robert as her husband. She wanted to be Lady Helaine again, and to have it possible to marry the man she loved. She wanted it all with a yearning that brought tears to her eyes. But in the end, she had to put all of that away. She had to forget what might have been and focus on what was. But it was hard. Perhaps the hardest thing she’d ever done.
“We cannot all have the love that you and Edward share,” she said. “Some of us must be content as a mistress to the man we love. Or abandoned by him like my mother. Some of us never have a chance like you. So even if you have to live in the same bedroom with your mother-in-law, you will find a way to stay happy. Do you understand me, Lady Gwen? You will find a way to make it work for all of us!”