FLISS
I’ve never felt so chastened in my life. Finally, I can see the light. The truth. The actuality. I was wrong. One hundred percent, totally, utterly, absolutely wrong. How could my instincts have been so off? How can I be such an idiot?
I don’t just feel chastened: I feel crushed. Devastated. I’m standing in Sofia airport, reading Lottie’s text, prickling all over as I think of what I’ve put her through during the last few days. Her honeymoon has been hellish—yet she and Ben seem to be bonded better than ever.
This whole stupid farce was about Daniel and me. I was indulging my own needs. I was looking at the world through skewed glasses, and Lottie was the innocent victim. The only saving grace is she doesn’t know what I did, and she never will know. Thank God.
I turn back to Lottie’s text, ignoring the boarding call for Ikonos. I’m not going to Ikonos. I’m not going anywhere near my sister’s honeymoon. I’ve done enough damage already. I’m finding a nice safe flight back to London for Noah and me. This whole ridiculous stunt is over.
Imagine the best marriage in the world. Mine is better. We are so sympatico, so alive with the future. Compared with Richard, Ben is a marvel of a man. I haven’t given Richard a single thought, and I really can’t remember what it was I ever liked about him. Ben has so many wonderful plans for the future!! He is going to work with Yuri Zhernakov on joint projects!! We are going to travel and sail in the Caribbean, then buy our French farmhouse!! Ben would like our children to be bilingual!!!
As I read, I feel a twinge of envy. This Ben sounds like Superman. Lorcan’s view of him seems seriously inaccurate.
The only low point happened at the guest house. It turns out I started the fire all those years ago. It was my scented candles. So that was a shock. But otherwise it’s the perfect, dreamy honeymoon. Lucky me!!!!
I stare at the phone in shock. She started the fire? The fire that changed her life? I can’t help exclaiming out loud, and Richard looks up sharply.
“What?”
“Nothing,” I say automatically. I can’t share Lottie’s private text with him. Can I?
Oh, sod it. I need to tell someone who will understand.
“Lottie started the fire,” I say succinctly. To my satisfaction, he understands instantly, as I knew he would.
“You’re kidding.” His face drops.
“I know.”
“But that’s huge. Is she OK?”
“She says so.” I gesture at the phone, but he shakes his head resolutely.
“She’ll be putting on a brave face. She’ll be in a real state.” His expression changes to a kind of protective anger. “Does this Ben realize? Will he look after her?”
“I suppose.” I shrug awkwardly. “He’s doing all right so far.”
“Can I see the text?”
I pause for only an instant. We’ve gone too far in this adventure to start being coy now.
He reads it silently, but I can see from the hunch of his shoulders how affected he is. I can see him reading it through again, and then a third time. At last he looks up.
“She’s in love with him,” he says, and there’s a kind of brutality to the way he speaks, as though he’s punishing himself. “Isn’t she? She’s in love with the man, and I just didn’t want to face up to it. I’ve been a fucking idiot.”
“Richard—”
“I had this stupid dream that I’d arrive there, tell her how I feel, sweep her off her feet, and she’d run off with me.…” He shakes his head as though the very thought is painful to him. “What planet am I on? This has to end. Now.”
I almost can’t bear to see him give up, even though I’m doing the same myself.
“But what about telling her how you feel? What about the competition?” I’m trying to rekindle his fire, but he shakes his head again.
“I think I lost the competition a long time ago, Fliss,” he says. “Fifteen years ago, to be exact. Don’t you?”
“Maybe,” I say after a pause. “Maybe you’re right.”
“She’s happily married with the love of her life. Good for her. Now I need to get a life.”
“I think we both need to get lives,” I say slowly. “I’m as much to blame as you are. I encouraged you.”
As I meet his eyes, I feel sadness at the realization that this is goodbye. If he and Lottie are over, then we’re over too. Over as friends. Over as siblings-in-law.
There’s another call for passengers on the flight to Ikonos, but I ignore it.
“Time to go,” says Lorcan, looking up from his BlackBerry. He’s sitting on an airport chair next to Noah, who is happily reading through a leaflet on security in Bulgarian. “What are you guys doing?” He takes in Richard’s stricken face. “What’s happened?”
“I’ve been an idiot, is what happened,” says Richard with a sudden intensity. “Finally I see it. Finally.”
“Me too.” I sigh. “That’s exactly how I feel. Finally I see it.”
“We see it.”
“Both of us.”
“Right.” Lorcan seems to be taking in the situation. “So … it’s just me for Ikonos?”
Richard thinks for a moment, then picks up his newly acquired City Heights Hotel tote bag.
“I might come along. I’ll probably never have the chance to visit Ikonos again. I want to see the sunset. Lottie always told me the sunset was the best in the world. I’ll find a quiet place to watch it and then I’ll head back to San Francisco. She’ll never know I was there.”
“What about you and Noah?” Lorcan turns to me. I’m about to tell him that wild horses wouldn’t drag me to Ikonos now when his BlackBerry bleeps.
“It’s Ben. Hold on.” He starts reading the text, and an odd expression comes over his face. “I don’t believe it,” he mutters at last.
“What?”
Lorcan raises his eyes silently. He looks genuinely poleaxed.
“Lorcan, what?” I feel a blade of worry. “Is Lottie OK?”
“I will never understand Ben,” he says slowly, not answering my question. “Never.”
“Is Lottie OK?” I persist. “What’s happened?”
“It’s not what’s happened.…” A kind of sick expression passes over Lorcan’s face. “I’m not protecting him,” he says, as though to himself. “This is beyond the pale.”
“Tell me!” I demand.
“OK.” He exhales. “Two days into his marriage and he’s already fixing up a rendezvous with some other woman.”
“What?” Richard and I speak in unison.
“His PA is on holiday, so he wants mine to book him a weekend hotel in England. For him and some woman named Sarah. I’ve never even heard of her before. He’s saying …” He passes me the phone. “Well, look at what he’s saying.”
I grab the phone and scan the text. I’m so stressed I can take in only about one word in three, but I get the gist.
We met up after all these years … amazing body … you have to meet her.…
“Bastard!” My incandescent cry echoes around Sofia airport. I feel so white-hot with fury, I may spontaneously combust. “My little sister loves this man! And this is the way he treats her!”
“Even for Ben, it’s pretty low.” Lorcan is shaking his head.
“She’s given him her heart. She’s given him her body and soul.” I’m shaking with fury. “How dare he? Where are they now?” I consult the text again. “Still at the guest house?”
“Yes, but apparently they’re leaving there after lunch and returning to the hotel.”
“Right. Richard.” I turn to him. “We have to rescue Lottie from this vile, odious man.”
“Wait just a minute!” chimes in Lorcan. “What happened to ‘I’m never going to interfere in my sister’s life again’? What happened to ‘Hold me to my vow’?”
“That was before,” I retort. “That’s when I was wrong.”