‘They could build here with us or perhaps they could replicate our technology in their own country. You picked here because it’s surrounded by water, but they probably think their remote land is surrounded by a vast amount of emptiness, so they can do the same thing. And they’re probably in discussions with Britain and other countries as well as us.’
He pushes a finger into my chest. ‘By us you mean me, and what you’re telling me is that they flew all the way here just to consider their options? This project isn’t just an option, it is a lifeline to the people we have chosen.’
‘Do you mean the people who have paid or the people you have chosen?’
His eyes widen, as I realise I have perhaps pushed him too much this time. ‘Might I remind you that I picked you as one of the chosen people. You cannot afford the payment so you are here only thanks to me, and don’t you ever forget that.’
I gulp and I nod.
‘Now get out of my sight and go make sure lunch is ready. Can you at least do that?’
I walk away, wondering if all that I will ever be good for is something between the menial and the hopes that never were. That place between chores and dreams that will never be enough to get a ticket into his new paradise.
I close his door and start making my way down the corridor, but I don’t get far before a hand comes out of nowhere. I realise it is Destiny as she pulls me into a room.
‘I was wondering where you’ve been,’ she says as she closes the door and smacks my ass. ‘My busy boy has been negotiating hard with all those powerful businessmen.’ She sniffs the room. ‘I can smell the testosterone. It’s oozing from you!’
‘I’m not sure I’ve done a lot of negotiating.’
She stares at me and I look back, wondering if she understands any of this. I try to see through those fluttering lashes and those big, brown eyes to spot something of substance, some glimmer that she gets the gravity of our situation.
I shake my head, deep in my own reflection. ‘We have a lot to do if we are ever going to make this become a reality.’
She paces around me, her eyes stalking my every move, what she is seeing and what I am seeing are two entirely different things now. She says nothing, although maybe she just has nothing to say.
‘Whose room is this anyway?’ I ask, realising that I have no idea.
She lies herself on the bed, looking up at me. ‘Does it even matter? It’s just a room. Everything is everyone’s and I am yours, so take me now.’
‘Destiny, this really isn’t the time. I mean, do you even understand what’s happening?’
She leans forward, staring up at me and then she laughs. ‘Not really. I’ve never really understood what the big issue is. I see everyone is getting so upset but we are still alive, so why get on such a downer?’ She suddenly gets up and runs over to me. ‘I don’t want to live in the clouds. Let’s run away to somewhere deep in the country. Let’s just get off this island and travel the world!’
I shake my head, blocking out the multiple impossibilities of what she has suggested. It wouldn’t work on so many levels; so many reasons for how wrong it would be.
‘Why not?’ she asks, trying to understand my doubting thoughts.
‘Because the world is fucked. Where would we go and what would we do?’
She takes her turn to shake her head. ‘The world is different and it will always continue to change. Whatever happens next, do you really think living up there with my dearest daddy as the emperor of everything will help us? For one thing, we won’t be able to be together.’
‘Why do you say that?’ I ask, already knowing the answer.
She grabs my tie, pulling me closer. ‘You probably won’t even make it into his final list. The only thing that’s keeping you here now is his duty to his brother. You know that, don’t you?’
‘I don’t even want to think about that right now.’
She moves me closer, pulling me towards her, forcing us against each other. ‘Because it makes you think about us and how wrong we are together?’ She kisses my neck and then my ear, slowly, carefully. ‘And how right it feels to be so wrong.’
‘Please, Destiny, I don’t want to talk about this right now.’
‘Well I do!’ she says, stamping her feet. ‘Every time you take me I think about what Daddy would say, me being shafted by my long-lost but utterly gorgeous cousin.’
I prise her off me. ‘It’s best not to think about that.’
‘Why are you so paranoid?’
I sigh, knowing we will need to go over all of this again – her simple mind asks for explanations but the reasons that would matter to most people won’t matter to her.
She grins, carefully stroking my cheek. ‘You do know that none of this would matter if we just ran away and left this place.’
‘It’s not that simple, you know it’s not.’
‘It’s very simple,’ she says. ‘Let’s just leave and take our secret with us and bury it somewhere on our way to paradise. You know that I’m sick of this and sick of my father.’
I look at her, the girl who has got me so obsessed. At times she makes such sense; moments when all those serious and adult ideas mean nothing to us when we’re together.
She brushes a finger through my hair, filling the silence with her boldness. ‘You know he won’t let me go willingly, don’t you? We will have to sneak out of this place in the dark of the night and keep running until we are far from his reach.’ She bends down and starts unbuckling my trousers, still looking up at me. ‘Would you run away with me? You know I’d make it worth your while. After all, I’m your Destiny.’
She stands up and puts her lips onto mine. I know somewhere deep down in my core that she’s right, that our paths have crossed for a reason. I think that maybe they have crossed before, over and over again for an eternity. We have been different beings but have the same essence of life, regardless of the image we are recreated with, and are always meant to find each other. When our eyes meet and our tongues wrap themselves around each other I feel an overwhelming urge to love her, to remind myself that we are meant to be together for all time.
But she moves down low too soon, long before these calming thoughts have travelled throughout my body, ready to protect me from the reality and fear of what is actually happening. She kneels down and pulls at my pants, quickly finding what she wants and wrapping her lips around it. That’s when all of this starts to feel really wrong, when it starts to feel that what we’re doing is forbidden by both logic and law. In the silence, while her mouth is occupied and my mind has time to think, I start to question what I have allowed us to become.
She works quickly, obviously knowing we don’t have much time, her angry mouth determined to finish its mission, whilst one of her hands holds on tight to my shaft, as if she will never let go.
I grab her hair, trying to pull her up or maybe away from me – anywhere but where she is now. ‘Don’t go too fast,’ I whisper.
She resists me, working harder, more fluid, more tongue, more lashing of my manhood. I beg her to stop, to leave me at this point and go no further. But she doesn’t listen, in favour of pushing my desperation towards a limit I don’t yet know, before swallowing it all and looking up to me with a giggle and then that look of wanting reassurance.
It’s something I cannot give her, because after my release comes the anxiety. I look down at her and I know the haze has been removed and reality has returned. It leaves my mind clear that what we are doing is wrong and that what she is planning for us can never happen. I can’t nod or smile but neither can I share these darkest of thoughts with her, and so I silently reach down for my pants, feeling embarrassed and alone with my guilt.
She stays kneeling down and looks up at me as I look down at her, but neither of us says anything. Maybe there is nothing to say and maybe there is everything still to say. Our silence seems to make me oblivious because the next thing I hear is the door opening. I don’t even try to put my clothes on, to cover my shrinking manhood. I simply stand here, knowing that fate has brought Destiny and me to this point.