I look at him, my mind never more determined. ‘Lucy is in there.’
‘If you truly believe that then you will die here,’ Marius says and stands up. ‘Let him go and get out of here.’
The rest of the cops head towards their cars as Marius walks towards Carlos, no doubt to apologise for my insane actions. I wonder if he is going to ask him some questions and do his duty as a detective, perhaps see if there is any glimmer of hope that he doesn’t obviously want to show me.
I feel a grip on my arm and I realise it’s the nice cop. ‘You seem like a decent guy but whatever has happened isn’t a crime that can be solved. No one will come here again and no one will fight for you.’
‘Then why did you come this time, bringing two cars and a detective?’
He looks around and then back to me. ‘Look, you need to wake up. I have no idea why he showed up as these guys aren’t solving crimes any more. They are going around and issuing orders with lots of reporting back to those above. Two cars turned up because this neighbourhood was classified as off-grid.’
‘Off-grid?’
‘We can’t patrol everywhere, so places that now have limited residents have been taken off the grid for police and all other public services. When we got the call we thought something was here and if it was, then things would have been easier to deal with, with fewer people around. This entire district is being prepared as a potential battleground area, so the guy in this house will bunker down and hope to survive, and your best chance for your own survival is to get the hell out of here.’
‘You don’t understand,’ I say, shaking my head. ‘I’m not leaving her.’
He leans closer as he takes the cuffs off me. ‘I bet you’ve seen the news and you should know that this place goes under complete military rule at midnight tonight and we are all shipping out. You either join the queue on Highway 55 now or you go up against that guy. No one will come here again and no one will stop you. If you think she’s in there then you do what you have to do. There will be no laws to break on either side.’
My hands suddenly feel free as they fall to my sides. I instinctively rub my wrists, feeling for any damage. ‘I know what I have to do.’
His partner calls him to the car as Marius walks back down the path. He takes one final look at me. I think to myself that this could be his last humane action he carries out as an officer of the law: the days, weeks and months ahead will be governed by that numbers game and I don’t think he will have the luxury of empathy for some time to come. ‘If you get her then escape to Highway 55: it’s the only one that will be kept open for civilians. The army presence will be high so don’t shock those guys and make sure they know you’re coming.’
I take a deep breath, remembering all he is telling me, knowing how much I still have to do, as I offer my hand up to him ‘Thank you.’
He shakes it but doesn’t say anything else, has no further comforting words. He gets into the car and I watch him drive away. I turn around to see Carlos shut his door, no doubt putting all those bolts back on as he seals himself inside with my Lucy.
I see Marius standing in front of me as he lights a cigarette. ‘It’s obvious he isn’t coming out until all of this is over, and there’s no way you will get in, so the best thing you can do for everyone is to move on with your life and get out of here.’
‘And what if I don’t?’
He walks towards me, opening his jacket and giving me a flash of his firearm. ‘I declared this neighbourhood as safe, low risk, no activity. So you can imagine my frustration when I get a call to say that precious resources have been dispatched here to stop civil unrest in progress. So to answer your question, you will move on from here now. What you do after that is none of my concern, but you needn’t come back here again.’
I take one last look at the house and then head towards my car, figuring the only thing I can do right now is drive away. I say nothing as I pull away, thinking only about when I will return. I wonder about what will happen after the sun sets and I wonder when I will get my Lucy back from that man. I don’t know how I will get into his fortified prison; I have no idea where she is and I can’t imagine how we will get out of this warzone in one piece, but somehow I vow that I will make it happen.
Most people would say, if asked, that they are scared of the dark. It’s easy to understand, because we spend almost all of our waking time in the light, whether it comes from the sun or is somehow man-made. The time we spend in actual darkness is normally when we are asleep, when our minds are taken elsewhere, to a place of colour and imagination.
The first few hours she spent in this true darkness were terrifying for Lucy. She couldn’t see anyone but heard every little movement. The room wasn’t just dark, it was black. There wasn’t even a little bit of light unless he opened the door, which now only happens twice a day – or at least that’s what Lucy thinks. It’s difficult to judge how much time has passed when there is no way of distinguishing light from dark, or day from night.
When they first took her she was convinced that he was in the room with her. She awoke from some strange, chemical-induced sleep, and found herself bound to something, her body laid flat and her arms and legs tied down. She could hardly move, could barely wriggle. The noises from the shadows had terrified her, with every part of her body exposed to things she couldn’t see, her very being trapped in a nightmare she couldn’t begin to understand.
After what seemed like hours she realised that she was alone and the room was some sort of cell. She didn’t know how far she had been transported, where they had taken her, or even how many of them there were. As she lay there, her other senses became sharpened but her precious sight could offer her nothing. She eventually managed to calm herself down and stopped screaming, as she thought it was doing nothing but heightening whatever pleasure her attackers were getting from this. The first thing she did was to control her breathing and start to think through what she knew. Okay, she had thought, it’s a dark room so what can I see in this darkness? She had looked around for any red lights, any sign that this was being recorded, but could see literally nothing. She didn’t give up and tried compartmentalising each question as a small problem yet to be solved. She soon realised that she was no longer clothed, and that her left-hand restraint was slightly weaker than the right. She stored these small facts in her mind, as she thought they could turn out to be crucial over the coming hours and days. Just as long as she could stay calm, these little victories had given her hope.
It was in this darkness when her remaining hope quickly fled, and that was the moment when she finally cracked. That small hero inside her who took charge didn’t last as long as she had hoped, when she felt something moving up her thigh. Her scream was loud and long, as everything she knew and every mental image she had created in her mind quickly fell apart.
This thing had been in the room with her all the time, enjoying every moment of her initial capture. She was probed and touched for a long time, her exposed body being examined from head to toe. He didn’t speak through any of her first ordeal and, after a while, neither did she. Begging him to stop, asking who he was, or offering any amount of money didn’t do anything. He had all that he wanted and he silently reminded her that the only power resided in the darkness.
She has learnt a lot since that first time. He wore infra-red goggles and he deliberately made the first few hours as terrifying as he could so that she would break more easily. He has given her little bits of freedom over the last few days, such as a daily shower, although she has to take it while blindfolded. She gets more food than she did at the start, sometimes even a pot of chocolate for dessert, and has almost become accustomed to the routine he has given her. She knows that after each shower she will be given a pill, washed down with vodka, and when she awakens she will already be tied down tight to what she now knows is a table, and that those restraints will only be released when he is finished. After that he will allow her to get off and scurry into a corner. During each assault he whispers to her that she is his favourite, but she never says anything back, she makes no moan or cry. He is taking all he wants but she will give him nothing freely in return. Lucy thinks she isn’t alone, that others might be going through the same thing, and although she wouldn’t want anyone to suffer this, she admits that it’s better than thinking she is truly alone.