Yamazaki’s face was grave, and I gulped reflexively. My determination had already taken shape, though. I’ll do it, no matter what. “I’ll do anything”, I said.
“Is that really true?”
I nodded.
“Absolutely true? You can’t just say, ‘I’m done’, in the middle, okay?”
I made a show of nodding deeply again.
Yamazaki made his eleventh cup of coffee, and I started slurping my second bowl of ramen. “I understand, Satou. Let’s talk. I’ll tell you about my plan.” Leaning forward, Yamazaki spoke conspiratorially. “Today’s games are made on an incredibly large scale. A huge amount of data and precision programming are necessary, so novices like us can’t do anything. Even making a game around the level of the outdated Super Nintendo would be a trial, at best. And even if you managed something like that, you still couldn’t possibly call yourself a game creator.”
“Then—“
Yamazaki quickly cut me off. “Just listen to me, all right? We have no budget, no friends in the industry, and nothing beyond the most limited resources. Even in our humble situation, there’s still a way. Even without being able to write a decent program or prepare more than crappy music, as long as we have about fifty CG—or computer graphic—illustrations and one book’s worth of scenarios, there’s a game genre that should work for us!”
Yamazaki’s voice now was unmistakably suffused with passion.
“S-so what’s the genre?” My own voice sounded hollow.
“As far as the programming goes, as long as we get a free-use game engine, we’ll be fine. Let’s just take the soundtrack off a copyright-free music CD, too. I’ll draw the CG, Satou, and you write the scenarios.”
Scenarios? Oh, that should be easy as long as I just had to write something appropriate. Like, say, “the hero has to rescue a princess who was kidnapped by villains.”
“Okay”, I said. “I’ll write as many game scenarios as you want! What’s the genre?”
“You’ll do it, Satou?!” Yamazaki patted me on the shoulders.
“Yeah, let’s do it, Yamazaki. Let’s make a game together! So, like I was asking, what’s the genre?”
“As long as the CG and scenarios are good, we can become totally famous. It might not even be that hard to become pros in the future. If we make some money with a self-published project, we even could start a company!”
“A company! That would be amazing, Yamazaki. You could be the president, and I’ll be the vice president! What’s the genre?”
“You’ll do it, right, Satou?”
“Yeah, I’ll do it.”
“If we go this far, there’s no turning back.”
“How many times do I have to say it?”
“Well then, let’s shake on it. Together, we can run toward tomorrow!” Yamazaki took my hand and grasped it firmly. “We’re kindred spirits.”
“Like I asked, what’s the genre of the game?”
“We’re friends!”
“What’s the genre?”
“We’re creators!”
“Like I keep asking, what the hell is the genre of the game?!”
Yamazaki finally proudly answered the question that I had asked repeatedly. “Erotic games.”
Someone, please save me.
I shakily tried to return to my own room, but Yamazaki pulled me back.
“Here are the materials. Please, look through them as soon as you get a chance. If you play all these games, you should be able to understand the industry trends.” Saying this, he handed me about thirty game boxes. These were the packages slathered with words like “torture”, “wet”, “abuse”, “lewd”, “tie”, “academy”, “confinement”, “rape”, “savage”, “pure love”, “training” and “adventure”.
I wanted to cry. But Yamazaki was grinning.
“These games aren’t for sale to minors because they’re erotic games. Well, these are really, really erotic games—but they’re the only path open to us, so let’s become erotic game creators. Let’s get back at all the people in my class with our erotic games! Let’s become billionaires with our erotic games! Let’s become famous around the world for our erotic games! We’ll go on to Hollywood with our erotic games! Let’s get accepted into the Order of Culture with our erotic games.[17] Let’s get a Nobel Prize for our erotic …”
His smile was ceaselessly bright, and any feeling that I could quit and run off had evaporated completely.
Chapter 05. A Humbert Humbert for the Twenty-First Century
Part One
“Take fireflies, for example. Try to imagine their beauty, the evanescent beauty of their lives, which don't even last a week.
“Female fireflies flash their lights only to have intercourse with the males; males twinkle just to have intercourse with the females. And once their mating has finished, they die. In short, their reproductive instinct is the single, absolute reason for fireflies to live. In that simple instinct and their simple world, no kind of sadness can intervene. This is precisely why fireflies are so fleetingly beautiful. Ah! Fireflies are the best!
"In contrast, please consider the human species this time. You’ll find an extremely complex society before you.
“I believe Freud stated something like ‘Humans are creatures with broken instincts.’ Whenever I deal with any kind of frustration, rage, or sadness in life, I can’t help but to remember those words.
“Modern concepts such as ‘love’ and ‘romance’ have made man, this creature with broken instincts, bury his original nature. It’s all a lie, of course. To cover up the deception, mankind has to create still more entirely new concepts. This is why the world becomes increasingly complex with each new day.
“However, that complexity cannot hide the various contradictions born from our broken instincts. They create hopelessly fundamental oppositions: words and instinct, ideas and the physical self, reason and sexual desire. These opposing concepts are like two snakes biting at each other’s tails. The two snakes constantly are locked in a fierce battle for superiority, so they turn and turn, causing us more and more pain.
“Do you understand? Do you get what I’m explaining? What? You don’t understand the meaning at all? Well, that’s okay.
“What I'm trying to say—“
I threw my pillow at Yamazaki. “Shut up! Die!”
Yamazaki, seated on top of the kotatsu, bent back his upper body to avoid the pillow and quietly continued his speech. “Because of our broken instincts, we are in pain. We continue in pain because our instincts have been twisted by reason. So, what are we supposed to do? Should we abandon knowledge? Throw away reason? In any event, that wouldn’t be possible. For better or worse, we ate the fruit of knowledge long, long ago. This was written in that religious pamphlet ‘Awaken!’ that I got from that woman earlier.”
“What?! What the hell are you thinking, waking me up at two o’clock in the morning, starting an unreasonably obscure speech and drinking in my room?”
“Our reason and instinct are in opposition, but we can’t get rid of either one. Given that, what are we meant to do? Compromise appropriately and start trying to date girls? Get married and try having kids? That is, after all, the conventional path. However, I discovered… Women… those things just aren’t human. Instead, they may, in fact, be closer to monsters. About a year ago, I realized the truth. While I was working at a convenience store to earn my tuition, all kinds of things happened. They’re really terrible memories, and I don’t want to think about them anymore.” Having said all this in one breath, Yamazaki look a second beer from my fridge.
17
A Japanese Order (decoration) established in 1937. The order has only one class and may be awarded for contributions to Japan’s art, literature, or culture; recipients also receive a lifetime annuity.