Still, listen: You’re wrong. You’re making a mistake! I don’t want to lock up a girl in my room or anything like that! I don’t want to kidnap anyone! You’re wrong. I’m not the one who committed that crime! Please, believe me! Trust me! Don’t look at me like that! Don’t look at me!
But… red schoolbags. And recorders. And innocent girls playing in the park. Gah!
“You want to play with big brother?”
“I’ll give you candy.”
“Just lift up your skirt.”
“Let's play doctor.”
“Here's your shot!”
I’m done for, done for, done for! I should die, die, die, right away. What’s that noise? Shut up…
“Satou! You’re here, aren’t you? Please, open up!” From somewhere far away, someone was calling out, “Satou! Are you alive? Are you dead? If you’re alive, please open the door!”
Someone was pounding on my apartment door. I didn’t have the capacity to show myself in public anymore, though. Leave me alone….
"What, are you really not there? I just wanted to lend you this marvelous illegal video."
Standing up, I wiped away my tears and opened the door.
Hearing my story, Yamazaki crumpled his face into a frown of pure disgust. “You locked yourself up for a whole week and just collected porn? You’re a failure as a human being.”
“First off, this is all your fault.”
“You say that, but I guess it’s your nature, after all. Right, Satou?”
“D-d-don’t you feel guilty, dragging me into this, and then saying that?”
“I told you those were just character references, right? Look, Satou, you’re not normal at all if you’ve collected thirty gigs of porn. I don’t even want to come close to you. Don’t come near me—you’re freaking me out!”
“G-gr-grrrr!” As a result of intense rage, I literally saw red. Both of my fists trembled.
“W-well, to change the mood, let’s start talking seriously about our plan for making the game. I’ll lend you this tape, okay?”
Snatching the tape from his hands, I smashed it against my leg and broke it in two. “Wh-wh-what are you… ?” Yamazaki stuttered.
At that moment, I saw my only escape from the lolicon world.
I glared at Yamazaki. “Yamazaki.”
“What? Please, pay me back for the video.”
“Lolicon material is inhuman; it’s monstrous.”
He was silent.
“Let’s escape, let’s escape together! If we don’t get away right now, we’ll be lolicons until we die! Hurry!” Forcefully grabbing Yamazaki’s hand, I pulled him out of the room.
Stopping by Yamazaki’s room for his digital camera, we headed outside, walking quickly through the town.
It was an early May afternoon. Although it was warm in town, there were few people outside.
“Where are we going?”
Without answering, I kept trudging forward.
On the way, I ducked into a convenience store and bought a disposable camera, which I gave to Yamazaki. I then continued to hurry toward my destination, Yamazaki in tow.
It was three o’clock in the afternoon. The best time possible.
“A digital camera and a disposable camera? What in the world do you want me to use this for?” Yamazaki asked, out of breath.
When I reached my destination, I answered, “Take a picture of me.”
“Why?”
“Well, do you know where we are?”
“Hm. This looks like the front gate of an elementary school.”
“Right, the Ikuta Elementary School, a public elementary school with about five hundred students. And I’m going to hide in the shrubs in front of the gate. Yamazaki, you hide, too. Hurry up!”
“Huh?”
“The end-of-the-day bell will ring soon. When that happens, the students will come pouring out of this gate.”
“That's true. So?”
“I’m going to take pictures.”
“O-of what?”
“Of elementary school students.”
He didn't say anything.
“I’m going to take some great pictures of beautiful little girls, using your state-of-the-art digital camera.”
Silence.
“You understand, Yamazaki? I’m going to sneak some pictures soon. I’ll hide and take pictures of little girls in the spring. I might even ‘accidentally’ take some panty shots. It’ll be fine. If we stay still and hide in these bushes, no one will find us. I’m going to photograph these elementary school students. I’ll take as many pictures as I can—only of the cutest girls, of course.”
The bell rang. In a few minutes, the students would come through this gate.
“Yamazaki, you take pictures of me with that disposable camera. Take as many pictures as you can of ugly me, the filthy lolicon guy, while he’s taking pictures of elementary school kids! You understand?{ }This is the only way we can escape from lolicon! You see that, right? You understand? It’s an ugly picture. However, at the same time, this is your appearance, too. You need to burn this disgusting, pathetic, dirty appearance onto that film. We’ll develop it together and objectively look at our own ugliness, dirtiness, and unsightliness. And then, we’ll be able to escape from lolicon and return to normal.”
The voices of the little girls echoed out from the entrance to the stairs. I readied the digital camera. Only a little more…
“Ready, Yamazaki?! I’m going to take the pictures. In just a moment, the first girls will arrive. I’ll secretly take their pictures! Then, you take my picture! You get it? If you understand, answer me, Yamazaki.
“Oh, the first one is beautiful! In a white dress, black tights, and dark brown boots, she’s amazing! Moe, moe! Are you listening, Yamazaki?! I’m clicking the shutter! Now, you click the shutter, too. Don’t use the flash, though—if you do, they’ll find us and call the police right away.
“Ah, this thrill, this blood-boiling, flesh-crawling thrill. I’m excited! My heart is pounding! Elementary school students nowadays are so cute. I’m clicking the shutter! Click! Click! Nice shot!
“Let’s call that wonderful elementary school student—she looks to be about a sixth-grade girl—let’s call her Sakura, for now. The second that Sakura turned back around to meet her friends, I couldn’t let that perfect diagonal, forty-five degree angle get away from me! Heh heh heh, are you listening, Yamazaki? Are you making sure to get photos of me, Yamazaki? Capture every last detail of my hideous lolicon appearance, or else I’ll just be a normal pervert.
“Whoa! More and more students are pouring out of the building. Look at those pretty girls, so full of life. I’m taking their pictures, taking their pictures, taking their pictures! Blow, spring breeze! Rise up, sudden wind! And lift up their skirts!
“Are you still there, Yamazaki? I’m looking into the digital camera’s finder, so I can’t tell if you’re there or not. You’re standing diagonally behind me, aren’t you, Yamazaki? Be sure to photograph my distasteful appearance. You understand, don’t you? Come on, Yamazaki, are you really listening? Hey, say something! I’m doing my best to get a panty shot of these little kids. You should be infected by my enthusiasm and doing your best, too. Are you listening? Hey, I said to say something! Oh well, whatever. We are committing a crime, after all. If you’re too scared to talk, that’s only natural. You have a soft voice, anyway.
“Hey, what do you know? Taking secret pictures is fun. And I am ugly now… . Hm, that’s right—I didn’t really want to become this sort of scum. When I was little, my dream was to go to Tokyo University and become a great scholar. I wanted to invent something that would help all mankind. And now, I’m a lolicon hikikomori! You should cry. Yeah, that’s right. Cry! Shed tears for my repulsive appearance!
“We wanted to smile casually and happily each day; we wanted to enjoy a normal, average, invigorating daily life. The incomprehensibly rough waves of fate have made it impossible, though—so, cry in despair! We really wanted to be useful to everyone, to be respected by everyone, to live in harmony with everyone. Now, though, we’re lolicon hikikomori—so, cry in despair! You must cry!