Pulling out my phone, I put her number on my contact list and then call her so she has mine. She looks happy. This dating thing is very different than hooking up.
“So is it true you said I looked like a young Ryan Gosling?”
She throws her hands up to cover her face. “Oh my goodness, I’m so embarrassed!”
“It’s okay. I considered that a compliment.”
She inches her tiny pale hands down. “Oh, it is a compliment. He’s a very handsome man!”
I grin at her. “Well thanks again. I’m going to get Ma home, but I’ll look forward to Friday.”
“Me too!” she replies.
Ma gives her a squeeze before we go to find Patrick and Dad. When Lourdes waves good-bye, her sweater slides down her arm and I notice a tattoo that looks like a cross on her wrist. It kind of weirds me out. What if she’s a religious fanatic? She probably wouldn’t put up with my apathy. I decide not to worry about it before we’ve even had a date.
As we walk away Ma turns to me. “Goodness, Paulie! Where’d you learn to be so dashing?”
If she only knew about how wild of a player I was. I’ll spare her the truth. “It was all those old Cary Grant movies you used to watch, Ma.”
She grins widely. “Of course! Oh, how I love that man!”
Over the next few days I wonder how Elle is doing but I don’t call her. Is she still with Sterile Stephan the sponge bather? I wonder if he ever got over my comment about dirty footprints on the bedspread.
I decide to wait to talk to Elle until after my date with Lourdes since I want to give Lourdes my full attention. Little did I know that I’d have a big old surprise at our weekly family dinner.
Trisha looks like the cat that caught the canary. “Patrick has a date!”
“You do? With who?”
“Well, Elle of course!” Ma says with a grin.
“I’m taking her to the science museum Sunday. They have a kinetics exhibit I thought she’d like,” he replies.
“What makes you think she’d like kinetics?”
“She said something that night at dinner about how things are always on the move for her.”
“And to you that translated to a kinetics exhibit.”
His expression falls and I feel like an asshole.
“You know what, Patrick? Actually, that’s a really cool idea for a date. I like it. It’s different.”
Ma gives me a smile of approval.
“She seemed excited about it,” he agrees. “And I hear you have a date, too, Paul.”
“Yes, I’m seeing Lourdes tomorrow night.”
“That’s outstanding.” He gives me a thumbs-up. It’s like the two of us for one brief moment finally have something in common.
Later over banana pudding I ponder Elle agreeing to go out with Patrick. Now that we’ve established we’re friends I can’t believe she’d do it just to make me jealous. Maybe she really wants to go out with him. I guess stranger things have happened.
I had sworn to myself that I wouldn’t compare Lourdes to Elle, but I found myself doing it anyway just minutes after my conversation with Lourdes starts. She’s very sweet and attentive but I miss Elle’s sass, and even her dirty mouth. Who am I kidding? I especially missed her dirty mouth.
I guess the upside is that with Lourdes’ conservative dress and mannerisms I haven’t been thinking about sex at all. It’s kind of liberating and disappointing all at the same time. She talks about her work being a teacher’s assistant at St. John’s. She’s almost done getting her teaching credentials and now she’s anxious to move up to being a full-fledged teacher.
Her eyes light up when she talks about how much she loves children and that she can’t wait to be a mom.
I note that’s a big check on the future mate list of requirements. I really want to have my own family one day.
As the night progresses I discover that there are surprising things with Lourdes though. For one thing she ordered her steak bloody—that’s just disgusting. She also makes a big point of closing her eyes and tipping her head down before she starts eating, and I’ve already dug in when I realize she’s praying. I awkwardly drop my fork and pretend to join her. I mean I knew she was religious but she must be really religious to do that in a restaurant. We get an impatient stare from the waitress since she has to wait until we’re done to grind the Parmesan cheese over my side of spaghetti.
At the end of the evening I drive Lourdes home and walk her to the door, where she thanks me and kisses me on the cheek. She doesn’t even invite me in. It’s not like I really wanted to go in, but I’ve always gotten some kind of offer from other women. I don’t even know what to make of that. I feel like I’ve entered an altered universe where at the end of the evening you get dry, precursory kisses on the cheek instead of wild-monkey sex.
The whole drive home I try to make sense of it. She’s certainly the most proper and nice girl I’ve ever gone out with. She’s smart and pretty. But hell, I didn’t think about screwing her once all night. I’m not sure how that will work.
Maybe I’m mixed up in the head. This is probably a good issue to bring up with Jim and the guys in my group meeting Tuesday.
Lourdes and my second date is just as surreal because we go to see a movie and after several failed attempts where she pulls away from me, she finally lets me hold her hand. I feel like I’m back in junior high.
When she calls me a couple of days later to invite me to dinner at her place I’m surprised. I’m not exactly excited about seeing her but decide there’s no harm in one more attempt to see if there’s anything between us. Dating is such a novel concept in my life. It’s sure a lot of work but it seems to pay off for plenty of people. I figure I shouldn’t give up so easy.
Saturday I take a shower and shave before changing into clean clothes, then stop at the florist and buy a bouquet of flowers.
Lourdes answers the door wearing a black dress that has lace running up her neck and down her arms. Through the lace covering her wrist I spot not just the cross tattoo peeking out, but an identical one on her other wrist. She looks particularly pale tonight, with porcelain skin and soft red lips. Her hair is pulled up and I realize that everything’s just more ramped up than our last dates. After taking the flowers with a smile, she pulls me inside.
I squint as I enter her living room. The walls are dark red and there are candles lit everywhere. There’s even some heavy-duty classical music playing. It certainly isn’t what I would have expected from Lourdes. I have a fleeting thought that maybe she’s a witch and she’s going to cast a spell on me. I half expect bats to start flying out of the fireplace.
She goes to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase and I realize that the brightly colored bouquet I got couldn’t have been more wrong. A bunch of dead red roses would have fit in this room better. Am I in a Tim Burton movie?
I step farther inside to study the paintings all hung in fancy gilded frames.
Every single one is with a crucifix painting or Madonna and child.
What the hell? I lean into the doorway to the kitchen and wonder if I can make a break for it but she sees me.
She returns to my side with two tiny looking wine glasses.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“Absinthe.”
I sniff it. “Is this some weird booze or wine?”
“Sort of.” She gives me a demure look and takes a tiny sip.
I take a larger sip and almost spit it out. Damn! My throat is on fire.
“Too strong?” she asks.
I nod my head while I try to stop coughing. Meanwhile she keeps taking small sips and the fumes don’t seem to bother her at all. For a tiny thing she’s pretty tough.
The weirdness continues through dinner where she serves up some strange soup she probably cooked in a cauldron with thick bread that has a tough crust. I’m pretty sure I’ll have to stop for a burger on the way home.
I find myself absentmindedly taking sips of the absinthe. Maybe subconsciously I’m hoping to numb my mind and after a while it’s working. We move to the living room for dessert. I’m halfway done with my dark chocolate mousse when I get the guts to confront her.