He was silent for a little while, and when he spoke again, his voice quivered with emotion.
‘You’re right, Michael. I’m sorry, really I am. You came here to get my opinion about something you’ve written, something you feel very deeply about, and all I can talk about is my own problems.’ He waved me back to my chair. ‘Come on, sit down. Let’s talk about your book.’
Determined to retain my advantage, I held my hand up in a gesture of deprecation and said: ‘Perhaps it’s not such a good time. I have this other appointment, and you maybe need a little longer to think before you can reach a decision, so why don’t we—’
‘I’ve already reached a decision about your book, Michael.’
I sat down immediately. ‘You have?’
‘Oh yes. I wouldn’t have called you in here if I hadn’t.’
Neither of us spoke for a few seconds. Then I said: ‘Well?’
Patrick leaned back in his chair and smiled teasingly. ‘I think you’d better tell me a little bit about it first. The background. Why you’ve written a book about the Winshaws. Why you’ve written a book about them which seems to have started out as a history and turned into a novel. What on earth gave you the idea?’
I answered these questions truthfully, precisely and at some length. After which, neither of us spoke for a few seconds. Then I said: ‘Well?’
‘Well … I hardly need to tell you that we have a serious problem with this book, Michael. It’s flagrantly libellous.’
‘That’s not a problem,’ I said. ‘I’ll change everything: names, locations, timings, the lot. This is just a beginning, you see, it’s just a basis. I can cover my tracks, make the whole thing practically unrecognizable. This is just the start.’
‘Hmm.’ Patrick put his forefingers together and laid them thoughtfully against his mouth. ‘Well, what does that leave us with, exactly? That leaves us with a book which is scurrilous, scandal-seeking, vindictive in tone, obviously written out of feelings of malice and even, in parts — if you don’t mind me saying this — a little shallow.’
I breathed a sigh of relief. ‘So you’ll publish it?’
‘I think so. Subject to your carrying out the necessary revisions, and, of course, providing it with some sort of ending.’
‘Absolutely. I’m working on that at the moment, and I expect to come up with something … soon. Very soon.’ In my exhilaration I felt a sudden rush of warmth towards Patrick. ‘You know, I was sure that this book was perfect for the market right now, but I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear you say this. I was worried, you know, with it being so different from my other novels—’
‘Oh, not that different,’ he said, with a wave of his hand.
‘You don’t think so?’
‘There’s a definite stylistic link between this stuff and your last book, for instance. I could recognize your voice immediately. In many ways, this has the same strengths, and the …’
‘… and the what?’ I asked, after he’d tailed off.
‘Pardon?’
‘You were about to say something. The same strengths, and …?’
‘Oh, it doesn’t matter. Really.’
‘The same weaknesses, that’s what you were about to say. Isn’t it? The same strengths, and the same weaknesses.’
‘Well yes, if you must know.’
‘And what does that mean?’
‘Oh, we don’t want to bother about that now.’
‘Come on, Patrick, tell me.’
‘Well …’ He got up and walked to the window. The car park and the brick wall didn’t seem to inspire him. ‘I don’t suppose you can remember, can you, what we talked about the last time we met? That last conversation we had, all those years ago?’
I remembered it vividly.
‘Not offhand, no.’
‘We talked a lot about your work. We talked a lot about your previous work, and your future work, and your work in progress, and I ventured to make a small criticism which seemed to upset you, to a certain extent. I don’t suppose you can remember what it was?’
I could almost remember his exact words.
‘Can’t put my finger on it, I’m afraid.’
‘I suggested … well I suggested, to be frank, that there was a certain element of passion lacking from your writing. You don’t remember that?’
‘Doesn’t ring a bell.’
‘Not that this suggestion in itself would have caused you to take offence. But I did also go on to suggest — and here I really was being a bit presumptuous, I suppose — that the explanation for this might lie in the fact that there was also a certain element of passion lacking in — well, how shall I put this? — your life. For want of a better word.’ He watched me carefully: carefully enough to be able to say, ‘You do remember, don’t you?’
I stared back at him until my indignation got the better of me. ‘I don’t know how you can say that,’ I spluttered. ‘This book is full of passion. Full of anger, anyway. If it communicates anything at all, it’s how much I hate these people, how evil they are, how much they’ve spoiled everything, with their vested interests and their influence and their privilege and their stranglehold on all the centres of power; how they’ve got us all cornered, how they’ve pretty well carved up the whole bloody country between them. You don’t know what it was like, Patrick, having to surround myself with that family for so many years; day after day with no one but the Winshaws for company. Why do you think the book turned out like that? Because writing it all down, trying to put down the truth about them, was the only thing that stopped me from wanting to kill them. Which somebody should do one of these days, incidentally.’
‘All right then, let me put it another—’
‘So how you can say there’s no passion in it beats me, I must say.’
‘Well, perhaps “passion” is the wrong word.’ He hesitated, but only for a second. ‘In fact it wasn’t even the word that I used when we first had this conversation. To be absolutely blunt, Michael, I pointed out that there was an absence of sex in your work — sex was the very word I used, now I come to think of it — and I then went on to speculate whether this might mean—might mean, I go no further than that — that there was also, and equally, a parallel and … concomitant absence of … sex … in your … Let me put this another way: there’s no sexual dimension to your writing at the moment, Michael, and I only wondered if this might possibly be because there is no — or at least not much — sexual dimension to your … to your life. As it stands.’
‘I see.’ I stood up. ‘Patrick, I’m disappointed. I didn’t think you were the kind of editor who told authors to put sex in their books just to help the sales along.’
‘No, that’s not what I’m saying. Not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying that there’s a crucial aspect of your characters’ experience which is simply not finding expression here. You’re avoiding it. You’re pussyfooting around it. If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you were afraid of it.’
‘I’m not staying here to listen to any more of this,’ I said, making for the door.