They turned eagerly, but he thought for a moment, shook his head, gestured absently. When the three of them reached the tiny front porch, they turned again. Smith said, "Well -" and they waited expectantly until again he shook his head.
"I'm sure there'll be something," Frayne said. "We'll get up a list of suggestions and call on you tomorrow."
Smith's eyes were focused on infinity. He said softly, "I used to think it'd be nice to have my own religion, but I don't suppose -"
Frayne paused. He was not too panicky to examine a straw with care before grasping it. "Your own religion. Do you mean you'd like to be a priest? Or a minister?"
Smith shook his head. "A priest has to learn ways to do things, and theology, and things like that. He even has to learn what to say. I'm too old to do very much of that, and anyway, I wouldn't want people telling me what to say and do."
"Your... own... religion," Frayne mused. He studied Smith perplexedly. "A church of your own? There are ministers or priests who establish independent churches. Some of them even devise their own doctrine and ritual. Just what do you mean by your own religion?"
"So I could decide things myself," Smith said.
"What sort of religion?"
"Any kind I want."
"Some variant of Christianity?"
"Any kind I want. Like the Pope, only with everything mine. Like - well - God."
Frayne winced. He said slowly, "Then you want to be the head of a new religion with a doctrine and ritual of your own devising."
"I guess so."
"We couldn't contract to make you God," Frayne said, smiling faintly, "but I don't see why we couldn't establish a religion for you." Suddenly he grinned. "It might even be fun. Anyway, you won the Lottery, and our commitment is to make you whatever you want to be. I'll draw up a contract."
It wasn't until Frayne faced F. Pierpont Prockly that he experienced misgivings, but Prockly received the news noncommittally. "If that's what he wants, that's what we'll give him."
"He's going to wind up his affairs, rent his house, and tell his neighbors he's going to live with a married daughter in Vancouver," Frayne said. "He'll come East as soon as he can get away. I figured we might as well locate his church where I can draw on the staff whenever I need it. We've started surveying religions and religious leaders, but what we've found isn't very helpful. Founders of religions always have their careers prophesied before their births, they're born of virgin mothers, they're mature philosophers at the age of six, they perform miracles, and so on."
Prockly waved a hand. "That's only a mess of mythology concocted by their followers after their deaths. Or maybe it's theological speculation, but theologians are notorious liars. How much of that mishmash was known or believed during their lifetimes?"
"Maybe some of the miracles."
"We'll have miracles," Prockly said confidently. "Problem is to get people to believe. Once they start believing, they'll believe anything. Look at the testimonials a worthless nostrum can inspire. Mountain spring water or chicken soup can have curative properties if people want to believe it. Make Smith's religion impressive, make the doctrine make sense, train him to perform the rites effectively, and he'll develop a following that will experience all kinds of miracles." Prockly tilted back and folded his hands over his ample paunch. "You're wasting your time analyzing myths. What you've got to do is run a computer analysis on the established religions. Find out what each one has that's universally appealing. If you combine those elements, you'll have a universal religion that'll appeal to everyone."
Naida Ainsley and Ron Harnon gazed at Frayne blankly.
"How was that again?" Harnon asked.
"Boss's instructions," Frayne told them. "We take each of the established religions and peel away its encrusted traditions. When we get down to the skeleton we'll find something in its doctrine or ritual that's universally appealing. That's what we use to build our religion."
Hamon said doubtfully, "You mean - we're to analyze priests' costumes and borrow a robe pattern from the Buddhists, and a hat or something from - what's his name - the Chinaman -"
Naida Ainsley said frostily, "Confucianism isn't a religion."
"That doesn't matter," Hamon said. "It passes for one. If it's got anything with universal appeal, let's use it."
"I don't agree," Frayne said. "My own hunch is that the success of any religion must be due more to its uniqueness than its universality. The measure of its success is the number of people the uniqueness appeals to. Otherwise, one religion would have crowded out all the others long ago."
"But wouldn't it be possible to base a religion on sound psychological principles?" Harnon asked.
"Sound psychological principles and theological universals," Frayne suggested. Harnon nodded eagerly. "Then suppose you tell me what they are."
"I guess maybe we'd better get started with that computer analysis," Harnon said.
"You do that," Frayne told him. "We'll also need Smith's ideas on religious doctrine. Whatever we decide will have to please him. Naida - can you go to St. Louis today and talk with him?"
Benjamin Franklin had called a special meeting. He led Cahill and Jaffner into his sumptuous private office and got them seated.
"I want you to hear something," he said.
"What's gone wrong?" Cahill demanded gloomily.
"Everything is going perfectly. That's why I want you to hear it. Smith is recording his Prockly and Brannot contacts for us. They sent one of their employees, name of Naida Ainsley, to interview him and find out his ideas about theology and doctrine and ritual and so on so they can give him the kind of religion he wants. Here's the interview."
Franklin placed a pockette on the cube beside him and touched a button.
Naida Ainsley's voice: "I understand that, Mr. Smith. But most of the great religious leaders came to us as prophets - for gods, or a god, or for some religious principle or other. It was only much later that their followers made them gods. Will your religion have a god?"
Alton Smith's voice: "I don't understand."
Naida Ainsley: "God. G-O-D. God. The creator of all things. The ruler of the universe. The supreme being. Most religions have at least one. Doesn't your religion have one?"
Smith: "I - I guess so."
Naida Ainsley (demonstrating magnificent patience): "What is the nature of your god?"
Smith (his squeaky voice throbbing with perplexity): "Nature?"
Naida Ainsley: "What sort of a being is he? What does he look like? He doesn't have to have an appearance at all - he might be totally invisible - but you must have some definite ideas about him. He might have the form of an animal, though I'm afraid that'd be rather difficult to put across these days. He might have an abstract form, or he might be represented by an abstract symbol. Some religions have worshiped the sun. Some consider their god to be an exalted creature in human form. In other words, when their god wants to, he can look like a man. Many people in the Judaic and the Christian religions think of their god as an old man with a beard."
Smith (light exploding through his perplexity): "Ah! An old man with a beard."
Naida Ainsley: "Then you're going to follow the Judaic and the Christian traditions?"
Smith (immensely pleased and enthused): "An old man with a beard." There was a long pause. "A fat old man with a beard, and he wears a red suit. And at Christmas he brings everyone presents."
Franklin touched off the pockette. His two co-conspirators were convulsed with laughter.
Naida Ainsley touched off her own pockette, and Walner Frayne sat with his face buried in his hands. "God!" he muttered. Then he looked at the others apologetically. "It could be worse, I suppose. It could have been the Easter bunny. Does this monstrosity of Smith's have a name?"
"I didn't think to ask him about that," Naida said.