“I am honored,” said Darcy, “especially as I suspect my reputation with your family can benefit from any advocacy that is available. I assume from my reception earlier that your parents are still unaware of our… more recent encounters?”
“I assure you that you could not possibly have got away from my mother with the ease you did had she the slightest idea!”
“Nor, I expect, would I have been allowed to walk out with you alone.”
Elizabeth blushed. “Fortunately, the Gardiners have been most tactful in that regard, and settle for singing your praises at any opportunity. I have limited myself to noting that you improve upon further acquaintance,” she said playfully, glancing up at him through her lashes with a look of mock seriousness.
“I hope to have sufficient further acquaintance in which to continue to improve, then, Miss Bennet.”
“Will you be remaining at Netherfield until the wedding, Mr. Darcy?”
“No, unfortunately I can stay but two days, as I must return to Pemberley quite shortly owing to a situation there that requires my personal intervention.”
Elizabeth, startled by the depth of disappointment she felt, said, “I am surprised you would make such a long journey for such a short stay.”
“Surely, Miss Bennet, you must have known when you wrote to me, that I would not be able to stay away,” he said softly.
Elizabeth cast her eyes down in embarrassment. “No, sir, in fact I did not know that.”
“You are less than certain of me? You need not be.”
“It is difficult to be certain of anything at times such as these.”
“Elizabeth, you know what my hopes and wishes are.”
“Mr. Darcy,” she responded slowly, struggling to find the words and the courage to express herself, “while you may rest assured that I receive your words with gratitude and pleasure, please understand that there have been a great many changes in my life of late, sir, not the least of which concern you. A month ago I had every expectation of my four sisters remaining at home with me for some time; now, I face living apart from my dearest Jane for the first time, and I do not expect to see my youngest sister again beyond the briefest of visits. Many things in my family will not be the same again, and I include myself in that. That same month ago I fully expected never to see you again, sir, and certainly in no way could I have foreseen the changes that would occur in a bare three days in Lambton. I have done things I would never have imagined, and I have learned that I did not know myself so well as I had thought.” She paused, and risked a glance at Darcy.
He looked thoughtful. “And time is needed to accept these changes before facing any others?”
Elizabeth nodded silently.
“I can be patient, if I know I have reason to hope.”
She found herself longing for his touch, and fought her body’s treacherous urges. She forced herself to say, “And there is another, less pleasant matter which must be faced.”
“And that is?”
“To my regret, I am forced to call brother a man whose name you rightfully must wish never to hear again.”
Darcy stopped and turned to face her. With determination, he said slowly, “I will not attempt to conceal that I would wish never to hear of or see George Wickham again, but please understand me clearly, Miss Bennet, I will not allow him to come between you and me. I will not let him cost me what is dearest to me ever again. And if this requires that I acknowledge his existence upon occasion, so be it.”
Relief coursed through her. “I will endeavor to remember that.”
“Thank you.”
Elizabeth, feeling overwhelmed by the import of their conversation, ran her fingers through the flowers as she passed. She paused for a moment, then broke off a sprig of flowers, allowing the sweet scent to soothe her restless spirits. He raised an eyebrow. “Lavender, Mr. Darcy. It is a favorite of mine.”
“An unusual favorite—I believe most ladies would choose the rose,” Darcy said, and Elizabeth felt gratitude that he had so well understood her need to move to a more neutral issue.
“Perhaps what pleases me is different. Lavender is not so bright or showy as roses are, but it is hardier and smells as sweet.”
“If we are to be choosing flowers for their virtues, perhaps I should give you forget-me-nots.”
“Then we both favor the flowers of the springtime, for I would have to choose sweet williams for you,” she said daringly.
Their eyes caught and held. Elizabeth found her breath coming quickly. Darcy reached out a hand and touched the inside of her wrist. “Miss Bennet, I have said I can be patient if I have hope. Can you give me that?”
Blushing, she said, “I believe you already know the answer to that, Mr. Darcy.”
“Some answers need to be heard.”
Elizabeth felt dizzy. “Sir, if I were to follow only the dictates of my heart, you may rest assured that you would be satisfied.”
The power of his gaze as he gripped her hand tightly was irresistible. He reached out to touch her face, and she became achingly conscious of how little she wished to resist him. Carefully, she looked away, and taking his arm once again, directed them to begin walking again. Lightly, she said, “I would remind you, sir, that we still remain in full view of the house.”
“But it would be difficult for an observer to see in detail at this distance,” he said, allowing his lips to caress her hair lightly. Placing a finger under her chin, he tipped her face gently up until their eyes met again. “And no one will hear if you call me by my name.”
She could not resist him. Her longing was evident in her voice as she whispered, “Fitzwilliam.” His eyes blazed, and, as if hypnotized, she watched his face lowering toward hers until she could resist the pull no longer, and raised her lips to his.
Somehow Darcy found the strength to pull back after the briefest taste of the pleasure of her kiss. “Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth,” he murmured.
Because she could not stop herself, she raised a hand and touched the tips of her fingers to his cheek. The feeling of his skin seemed to burn down her arm, and her face unconsciously reflected the yearning she felt. Darcy closed his eyes against the invitation he read in her eyes, and, taking her hand from his cheek, he kissed her palm, her fingers, the soft skin inside her wrist. He heard the sharp intake of her breath, and felt the last of his control beginning to dissolve. “Elizabeth,” he said urgently, “we must not…” But even as he spoke, he was drawing her into his arms and seeking her mouth with ever-increasing urgency.
Elizabeth’s astonishment in the pleasure of his kisses paled next to the intoxicating response she experienced as she felt his body against hers, the passion of his kisses deepening from moment to moment. Realizing how close she was coming to losing herself in his arms, she somehow forced herself to pull away.
He released her immediately. Unable to bring herself to look at his face, she turned away from him, and, with feelings of the deepest mortification for her behavior, covered her eyes with her hand.
“Shall we return to the house, then?” asked Darcy, his voice slightly unsteady.
She nodded, still avoiding looking at him. As they walked, she sought desperately for some comment to make light of the situation, but her thoughts were still too full of the sensation of his kisses.
“Miss Bennet, it seems I must make a habit of apologizing to you for my behavior. I would like to assure you that I do not usually engage in this sort of conduct, though I fear you would have every reason to disbelieve me under the circumstances; however, it is true, and I regret most sincerely having offended you.”
“I thank you, sir, but I am not offended, except at my own behavior.”
“Please, do not blame yourself in any way; I am completely at fault,” Darcy responded, not without distress.