Elizabeth stood. “Thank you.” How the situation had reversed itself since that afternoon in the Hunsford parsonage! Now she was the one desiring Darcy’s good opinion and affections, while he was departing with a wish to sever the connection. She had lost him; she would never see him again. But before they parted, she knew she must tell him somehow that she recognized the error of the terrible accusations she had made that day in April. He had shown by his gentlemanly behavior he had attended to her rebukes; she needed to demonstrate to him that she recognized her former opinions were based on lies and prejudice.
Gathering a desperate resolve, she said, “I would also like to thank you, sir, on my own behalf as well as that of my aunt and uncle, for the courtesy and hospitality you have shown us here. You and Miss Darcy have been all that is kind and amiable. Your sister is a charming and pleasant young lady, and I am very glad to have made her acquaintance, however briefly. Please know that, despite this unfortunate ending, these days in Lambton are ones I will always remember with pleasure.”
For a moment his face remained closed and distant, almost pained, then he approached her. Somehow she found her hand in his, unsure who had initiated the contact.
She saw his mouth form the word “Elizabeth,” though no sound emerged. Then, recalling himself, he took a deep breath and said formally, “Miss Bennet, the pleasure has been entirely mine.” He paused, appearing to struggle for words for a moment, then added slowly, “I hope your acquaintance with Georgiana need not be brief. She has told me repeatedly of the pleasure she has had in your company, and I am certain that she will be most disappointed your stay is to be interrupted. She does not make friends easily, and is often lonely, I believe, for the company of other young women. May I hope, or do I ask too much, that you will continue the acquaintance, and perhaps correspond with her from time to time?”
The surprise of this application was great. She felt relief that, despite Lydia’s shame, he would still at least consider her an acceptable companion for his sister. Then she realized all of his behavior—his closeness to her, his hand around hers, and most importantly that look in his eyes she was now coming to recognize—combined to tell her that though his words were about Georgiana, his meaning was quite different. In all respectability, he could not, as a single man, contact her directly, but Miss Darcy could; he was offering her a way to continue their own contact by proxy.
How had it come to pass that his good opinion was so important to her that this reassurance could bring tears once again to her eyes? Elizabeth struggled to calm herself. “I… I should like that, sir, very much.”
The slightest of smiles warmed his face becomingly. “And perhaps, in happier times, you might honor us… honor her with a visit?”
To know he hoped to see her again, desired to see her enough to invite her to Pemberley! It seemed too much, coming so soon after despairing of any possibility of his favor. “Mr. Darcy,” she said, then paused, gaining strength somehow from his steady gaze, “the honor would be mine, and I would delight in seeing Miss Darcy once again.”
She would not have thought his gaze could become more intense. The sensations she felt as he raised her hand to his lips were such as she had never felt before, and the intensity of those feelings was so great she felt the need to drop her eyes, recalling she was alone with him and that in the tension of the moment neither he nor she might be best able to follow the dictates of appropriate behavior.
With that thought came the recollection of Lydia’s situation—how could she have forgotten it even for a moment, and how could she so have forgotten herself as to be consenting to accept Mr. Darcy’s addresses in light of Lydia’s ruin? Her breath caught as tears began once again to overtake her, but even in her distress she felt the more than common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, and she found herself tightening her fingers on his lest he perceive her loss of composure as a rejection of him.
“Miss Bennet, I must apologize for putting my… concerns before you at a moment when you are facing such distress,” he said quietly, displaying an extraordinary sensitivity to her shift of mood. “Please, you must sit. You are not well.” Releasing her hand most reluctantly, he led her to a chair.
Burying her face in her handkerchief, she whispered, “I am sorry.”
“No, your feelings do you credit,” replied Mr. Darcy. Had she been able to encounter his eyes, she might have seen how he was struggling not to take her in his arms to offer her whatever comfort he could. “But how may I be of assistance to you? You are eager to away to Longbourn; shall I ask your maid to pack your bags?”
She nodded, still unable to look up. He quitted the room, and she heard him call to the servant. When he returned, he slipped quietly into the chair opposite her.
“Miss Bennet, will you allow me to sit with you until your aunt and uncle return? There is no need for you to make conversation, but I do not wish to leave you alone at a time like this.”
“As you wish, sir.” Elizabeth tried to breathe deeply and calmly. Mr. Darcy handed her his handkerchief while taking her own damp one. Somehow in the process he managed to reclaim her hand with his.
Elizabeth’s thoughts could not stay still. They fluttered from Lydia’s disgrace to Mr. Darcy to the shame her family would face in the future. How hopeless it seemed that there could be any resolution to this crisis! She felt both pity and furious anger at Lydia for the thoughtless behavior that would ruin so many of the family’s hopes, and then, with a sinking heart, connected those unhappy thoughts once again with the man next to her. Would she risk the reputation of the Darcy family name merely by association with them? She could not bear the idea she might do him harm, no matter how high the cost of preventing it. If that cost was never to see him again, she would pay it.
“Mr. Darcy,” she said, her voice trembling, “I find I must ask you to reconsider your… willingness to further my acquaintance with your sister. It is certain that in light of this event my family’s reputation will be severely harmed, and I would anticipate many good families of much lower standing than yours will no longer consent to receive us. Will you risk associating your sister with a family in such disgrace?”
“Miss Bennet, what has your sister done that my sister would not have done were it not for an accident of timing? Surely there are no two people more likely to understand your position than Georgiana and I.”
She could hardly believe her ears. Even with the many changes he had wrought in his behavior since Rosings, could he possibly be putting aside his pride so far as to compare Georgiana with Lydia?
“But in this case what you understand and what society understands are two very different matters. And I must argue with you, sir, in your comparison; though there are similarities in their situations, Miss Darcy is far more sensible than my heedless, thoughtless sister.”
“They both took the same risk,” he said with a dark look. “Miss Bennet, if you are attempting to tell me that you have for your own reasons changed your mind from the preferences you stated earlier, please tell me so at once, and I shall trouble you no more. But do not use your family as an excuse.”
“You confuse my meaning entirely, Mr. Darcy; my feelings have not changed, but I am concerned about the wisdom of this course. Or perhaps,” she said, hoping to inject a note of playfulness into the discussion, which seemed to be headed to dangerous ground, “I should say that my feelings have not changed recently, as we both have reason to believe my opinions not to be completely immutable.”