Elizabeth had difficulty meeting Darcy’s eyes when he returned to her, clearly still angered over Georgiana’s behavior. She did not know how to comprehend his action, and he did not seem in a mood for explanations, yet she found herself roused to resentment on Georgiana’s behalf, and saddened to see her behaving once again in her previous timid manner. “Mr. Darcy, it would seem that your sister took your words very much to heart,” she said with a tinge of reproach in her voice.
He looked down at her coolly. “My sister and I understand each other quite well, Miss Bennet,” he responded.
Taken aback by his tone, she said placatingly, “I am sure you do, although it is difficult for anyone to completely comprehend the sensitivity of a girl at that age.”
“Sensitive she may be, but she is still a Darcy, and must behave appropriately. I will not have her behaving in such a manner,” he said, glancing toward the group of young people.
Elizabeth felt her anger beginning to rise. “She did not seem to be behaving any differently from the rest of the young people.”
As she pronounced these words, Mr. Darcy changed color. His voice became icy. “Miss Bennet, Georgiana will inhabit a different world than these people, and expectations for her will be different. What may seem completely normal to you may be regarded with the greatest of disapprobation in higher levels of society, and I will thank you to allow me to be the best judge of these matters.”
“Indeed,” Elizabeth said with quiet indignation, “how could I judge when my manners and breeding are no better than anyone else here, not including, of course, the Darcys!” In the back of her mind, she heard Miss Bingley’s words again—he may submerge his pride, but it will never disappear—and she shuddered inwardly.
“Madam, I believe that we have covered this ground in some detail in the past! Georgiana’s situation is different from yours, and that is all there is to it,” he retorted.
“I see, and this would mean the very behavior you encourage in me would be unacceptable from her,” she responded in a voice that was far too level.
He opened his mouth to respond, but said nothing, demonstrating clearly to Elizabeth his belief in the truth of her accusation. Finally he said, “I do not believe this is either the time or the place for this discussion, Miss Bennet!”
“You are quite right, sir. I believe that more than enough has been said. If you will excuse me.” She turned and walked away swiftly, her composure close to breaking. She did not stop until she found herself on the outdoor terrace which, as the evening was turning chilly, was deserted. Wrapping her arms around herself against the cool air, she heard Miss Bingley’s words in her mind again, and wondered whether she herself had been willfully blind, and so enchanted with Mr. Darcy as to mistake a superficial alteration in manners for a deeper change in perception.
Tears began to fall as she remembered the cold look he gave her. She reviewed his words in her mind, trying to find an alternate interpretation, and, finding none, attempting to find a justification. That she should not have tried to interfere in his discipline of Georgiana at this early stage in their relationship might be argued, as could the idea that she did not understand the expectations of the ton. Yet his attitude, his immediate rejection of her ideas, spoke much against him, as did the humiliation of not being held to the same standard as his sister.
My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever, his voice echoed from the past, and her tears began to flow in earnest as fear took its place in her heart. Had she, with a few ill-chosen words, lost his good opinion? The devastation this thought engendered in her went deeper than she would have believed possible. She attempted to reassure herself by reminding herself that she had said far worse things at Hunsford and been forgiven, but still a small part of her would not be comforted.
Shivering with cold, she struggled to determine what course she should take. The example of her parents had given her no insights into the resolution of quarrels. What advice would her aunt Gardiner give? She would advise speaking with him, but how, and where?
Her final question was answered for her as she realized that she was no longer alone. Darcy stood before her, and, taking his handkerchief, he began to gently dry her tears. Softly he said, “Elizabeth, you are quite right, and I am nothing but a hypocrite. I hold Georgiana to a standard I cannot meet, and no longer even want to meet, and it is not fair to her. Part of your appeal for me has always been your willingness to flout certain rules, and I would not have you alter that for the world.”
His tenderness only caused her tears to flow more freely. “I must apologize for interfering between you and your sister, as well as for my intemperate words,” she said, her voice shaking.
“Please do not; your point was a good one, and I count on you to help me understand Georgiana, as she is often a mystery to me. The truth is, it is past time for me to confess one of my greatest failings to you, and I can only hope for your understanding and acceptance. I told you that I dread large gatherings; that is only the beginning. I detest and despise them. I am never so uncomfortable as when I am in that setting, especially when I am forced to make conversation, and I find that I end up saying and doing things I would not in other circumstances, and later regret. In fact,” he said with a slight smile, “I recall an assembly I once attended, where I said that a very lovely lady was not handsome enough to tempt me solely to avoid having to make conversation with a stranger.”
“I… did not know. Thank you for telling me.”
There was a long pause. Finally Darcy said, “Elizabeth, may I ask what you are thinking?”
“I was wondering much the same of you, in fact.”
“If I tell you what I have been thinking, it will expose the full depth of my hypocrisy, since I would happily kill any man who said such a thing to Georgiana.”
“You have whetted my curiosity, sir.”
He stepped closer and put his mouth by her ear. “Elizabeth, I want nothing in the world so much as to kiss your tears away, and then to carry you upstairs and make you mine in every way,” he whispered. “I want to bind you to me in every way I know, because I am terrified that you are going to tell me that you want nothing further to do with me.”
Elizabeth put her arms around him. “I already am yours in every way, my dearest,” she responded with tears in her eyes.
He crushed her to him and buried his face in her hair. “Elizabeth, my own Elizabeth,” he murmured. “You mean everything to me. I could never bear it if you left me.”
She tilted her head up and kissed him fiercely. “How could I ever leave you when I love you so much?”
He captured her mouth with his in a kiss of such passion that she felt its power run through her whole body, and she answered it with the deepest of ardor. He held her as tightly as he dared, as if she were his only surety in life, and the feeling of her soft body against him was almost more than he could bear. “You cannot imagine,” he said between kisses, “how much I have longed to hear you say that you loved me.”
“My dearest love, I shall say it until you tire of hearing it,” she replied, every inch of her body responding to his touch and his fervent kisses. She wished she need never leave his embrace.
“Then you shall be saying it forever.”
They heard the sound of a door opening behind them. Elizabeth tried to pull away, but Darcy held her still for one more deep kiss. “See how shameless I have become?” he whispered before he released her.