“One more day of shooting and then the launch party and we’ll be done with this,” she said, relief evident in her voice. “I won’t lie. I’m ready for this to be over with. It scares me that you and your team are in the line of fire. I’d never forgive myself if one of them—or you—were hurt or killed because of me.”
Swanny frowned because she sounded like she was ready to be done with it all. Including him.
He was suddenly struck with a raging case of nerves. He could feel his palms growing clammy. What if she didn’t feel the same way about him as he did about her? What if when this was over, she moved on, leaving him behind, only the memory of him being her first lingering in her mind?
He tried to block out his doubts and focus on the positive and hope for the best. It scared him to death to put his heart on the line. To open up to her completely and to be so direct in his planned conversation with her.
His head told him he was an idiot for even considering that a woman like her would have any interest in seeing him beyond the time they spent protecting her, but his heart clung to the tenuous hope that he was more to her than her bodyguard.
What if he got shot down?
He wished he could be more confident. But his demons wouldn’t go away. His dreams were still tormented by his time in captivity, though he had noticed that when Eden slept with him, she chased away those demons, calming his inner beast and soothing away the pain of the past.
But he had visible reminders of his captivity. Could a woman like Eden look beyond those? In her career, where beauty and elegance was a part of her daily life? He couldn’t imagine her ever wanting to show up to an event on his arm.
Beauty and the Beast. Literally. Only real life wasn’t a fairy tale and no happily-ever-afters were ever guaranteed. He’d seen love work with the Kelly brothers. Other members of the KGI team. But he’d never considered it for himself. Never thought he would even entertain the thought.
And yet he knew in the deepest recesses of his heart that he loved Eden beyond measure. He felt the worst kind of fool for setting himself up for such a huge fall. He wasn’t even sure when he’d fallen for her. She’d certainly had his attention from the moment he met her, but looking back he couldn’t pinpoint an exact moment when love had happened.
It seemed he’d always felt it toward her, growing even more the first time they made love and he discovered he was her first. That had humbled him in a way he’d never been humbled in his life. It still had the power to bring him to his knees. It was a gift he’d treasure forever, no matter what happened between him and Eden.
But he knew one thing. No matter where life took him, he’d never love another woman as he did Eden. Nor would he ever meet another woman of her caliber.
CHAPTER 30
EDEN issued an audible sigh of relief once Swanny and part of his team had entered her suite and swept the interior while Edge and Skylar had remained in the hallway with her, flanking her protectively and watching for any sign of anyone in the hallway.
They’d rented out the entire floor of rooms so they’d be the only occupants, and the hotel had put a block on anyone stopping on their floor on the elevator. But the stairway presented an issue because they couldn’t lock it in case they needed to get out fast, and they damn sure needed more than one option for escape.
Now everyone was gone except Swanny, and she sank onto the couch, only wanting Swanny next to her, his arms around her.
“Want to get undressed and into more comfortable clothing?” Swanny asked before he sat next to her. He stood just in front of her, as if waiting to see what she wanted before he decided on his position.
“Only if you’ll come to bed with me and hold me,” she said, watching for his reaction.
It bothered her that she was still so unsure of herself, or rather of him. She wasn’t used to being anything but confident in her life and career. But this was something she’d never encountered before.
She’d completely lost her heart to Swanny and she had no idea if he reciprocated her feelings. She knew he cared about her. No question there. But when this was all over with, would he simply move on to the next mission and she’d go back to her life and career as if they hadn’t ever held such a close bond?
His expression immediately softened and a heated glow entered his eyes as he stared warmly down at her. He held out his hand to help her to her feet and then pulled her into his arms.
“I’ll hold you all night, honey. But first there’s something I want to give you and then . . .” He hesitated briefly, uncertainty flashing in his eyes giving him an almost vulnerable look. He let out his breath as he pulled her a little farther away from his embrace. “Then, I’d like us to go to bed because there’s something I want to discuss with you.”
He blurted out the last, as though it had taken him a moment to gather his courage and say it before he changed his mind.
She looked curiously up at him, a sudden attack of nerves making her stomach flutter. Was he going to tell her they were over? That he’d made a mistake by making love to her? How did the saying go? Something like women got way more emotional when it came to sex and how they read far more into the act than a guy did? Had she set herself up for a monumental fall?
Some of her panic must have shown on her face, because Swanny immediately looked contrite and pulled her back into his arms. “I’m sorry, Eden. That probably came out badly. I’m not so good with words, and I’ll man up and admit, I’m nervous as hell. But it’s nothing bad. God, I hope not anyway.”
Something in his voice immediately soothed the tension that had knotted her insides. She could hear the nervousness in his voice, see the same tension she had felt in his features. It made her want to comfort him instead of seeking comfort for her own bout of nerves.
“What do you want to talk about?” she asked, deciding to take the plunge. Like a bandage. Rip it off quickly and cleanly.
Instead of answering her, he took her hand and pulled her toward the bedroom. When they were standing by the bed, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a silvery strand. At first she wasn’t at all certain what it was until he held it up.
It was a delicate necklace with a heart charm that twinkled and caught the low light from the lamps. Her pulse ratcheted up. She was delighted with the gift, but she saw the uncertainty in Swanny’s expression and her heart immediately softened.
“I’d like for you to wear this,” he said gruffly. “I know you can’t wear it all the time, like for your shoots or the launch party. But in between and especially if you aren’t with me, I’d like for you to wear it.”
There was an odd note to his voice. She cocked her head to the side, studying him for a moment. Then she brushed away the oddity and decided he was simply nervous over whether she’d like something so simple. He likely thought nothing but the most expensive jewels ever adorned her body.
Even if she didn’t like his gift—and that certainly was not the case here—she’d never in a million years crush him by rejecting something so precious.
Reverently she took it in her hands, sliding it carefully from Swanny’s fingers.
“I love it,” she said, a knot forming in her throat.
“Really?”
She swore she could see sweat on his brow.
She extended it toward him and then turned when he took it from her.
“Clasp it for me?” she asked.
He fumbled behind her neck, and she smiled when he muttered a curse. Finally he secured it and she turned around, walking into his arms, hugging him tightly.
“Thank you,” she said. “I really do love it.”
He returned her hug and then tilted her head back with a nudge to her chin and his mouth covered hers. Heat scorched a path up her spine and yet she shivered as if chilled in reaction to the pleasure radiating in waves over her skin like the softest of whispers.