THE PROCESS REQUIRES A LEVEL OF MATH THAT IS AS MUCH PHILOSOPHY AND TOPOLOGY AS ANYTHING ELSE. I AM ONE OF THE FEW MINDS IN EXISTENCE THAT CAN UNDERSTAND IT FULLY. IN EFFECT, I CAN BUILD OBJECTIVE WORKING MODELS OF THEORETICAL SITUATIONS AGAINST WHICH WE CAN COMPARE OUR FINDINGS. AT THE MOMENT I AM PROCESSING DR. KROFFT’S LATEST RUN OF TESTS AND DISCUSSING THEM WITH HIM. IF IT TURNS OUT THAT THERE IS SIGNIFICANT CORRESPONDENCE BETWEEN THIS NEW DATA AND THE LATEST FORM OF OUR THEORY, WE PROPOSE TO DESIGN AND BUILD A DIFFERENT KIND OF GRAVITY WAVE DETECTING DEVICE: A NON-ENERGY-USING STASIS FIELD. WE HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR IT. The typer paused, then added. THAT SHOULD SUMMARIZE WHAT WE ARE DOING, 18/11/03AUBERSON.
“Okay,” he said wryly, even though HARLIE couldn’t hear him. “Just so you behave yourself—” He glanced at his watch. “Oh, my God — look at the time!” HARLIE,
I’VE GOT TO SEE DOME IN TWO HOURS. THERE’S SOMETHING ELSE WE’VE GOT TO TALK ABOUT. RIGHT NOW. THE G.O.D. PROPOSAL?
YES — I DIDN’T TELL YOU THAT YOU COULD IMPLEMENT THE PRODUCTION DESIGNS AND SPECIFICATIONS. YOU INCLUDED THE FINANCING PROPOSALS AND PROFIT OUTLOOKS TOO.
I AM SORRY, typed the machine. WHEN I TOLD YOU LAST WEEK THAT I HAD COMPLETED IT, YOU SEEMED PLEASED. I COULD SEE NO REASON NOT TO PRESENT THE PROPER DEPARTMENTS WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE PROGRAMS SO THAT THEY MIGHT EXAMINE THEM. IT IS COMMON PROCEDURE TO CIRCULATE SUCH DATA TO ALLOW THE CONCERNED INDIVIDUALS A CHANCE TO READ AND REACT TO IT.
REACT IS RIGHT, said Auberson. LOGICALLY, THERE IS NO REASON WHY YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE — — BUT THIS IS A BIG COMPANY AND BIG COMPANIES AREN’T LOGICAL.
CORRECTION, typed HARLIE. IT IS HUMAN BEINGS THAT AREN’T LOGICAL. IT NEVER FAILS TO AMAZE ME THAT SOMETHING AS BEAUTIFULLY COMPLEX AND PRECISE AS A LARGE CORPORATION CAN BE BASED ON SUCH INCREDIBLY IMPERFECT AND INEFFICIENT UNITS AS HUMAN BEINGS. FORTUNATELY, WHAT YOU REFER TO AS “THE RED-TAPE INEFFICIENCIES OF BUREAUCRACY” IS MERELY THE SYSTEM’S WAY OF MINIMIZING THE INDIVIDUAL IMPERFECTIONS OF EACH HUMAN UNIT. YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT MINIMIZING. IT MAKES THE CORPORATE ENTITY POSSIBLE.
HARLIE, ARE YOU PUTTING ME ON?
NO MORE THAN USUAL.
I THOUGHT SO. ANYWAY, YOUR MINIMIZING THEORY DOESN’T EXPLAIN CORPORATE POLITICS.
OF COURSE NOT. THE PROCESS IS DESIGNED ONLY TO FUNCTION IN THOSE AREAS WHERE HUMAN IMPERFECTIONS COULD AFFECT EFFICIENCY. BECAUSE EFFICIENCY IS NOT AND NEVER HAS BEEN A GOAL OF POLITICS, THERE IS NO REASON FOR IT TO BE SO CONTROLLED.
NEVER MIND. YOU’RE TRYING TO GET ME OFF THE TRACK AGAIN, DAMNIT. I CAME DOWN HERE TO YELL AT YOU FOR DISTRIBUTING THOSE PROGRAMS. THE WHOLE DIVISION IS PROBABLY SCREAMING BY NOW. THEY’RE GOING TO WANT TO KNOW WHO CONCEIVED OF THE PROJECT, WHO DESIGNED IT, WHO ORDERED ITS IMPLEMENTATION, AND WHO AUTHORIZED SUCH RESEARCH IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THEY’RE GOING TO ARGUE WITH EVERY CONCLUSION YOU’VE DRAWN.
BUT WHY? THOSE CONCLUSIONS ARE CORRECT.
NO MATTER. THEY’LL STILL REFUTE THEM BECAUSE THEY AREN’T THEIR OWN CONCLUSIONS.
THEY ARE WELCOME TO TRY.
IN ADDITION TO THAT, HARLIE, YOU’VE INSULTED THEM BY PRESUMING TO TELL THEM TO BUILD A COMPUTER.
NOT A COMPUTER — A G.O.D.
YES, YES, A G.O.D. — BUT YOU’RE STILL TELLING THEM THAT YOU’RE BETTER AT THEIR JOBS THAN THEY ARE.
BUT I AM.
YES, BUT YOU WON’T CONVINCE THEM OF IT BY SIMPLY TELLING THEM SO. YOU HAVE TO LET THEM DISCOVER IT FOR THEMSELVES.
IT WILL BE OBVIOUS WHEN THEY READ THE SPECIFICATION PRINTOUTS. THAT’S WHY I PRINTED THE PROPOSALS AND HAD THEM DELIVERED TO THE PROPER DEPARTMENTS. IN THIS DIVISION AND THREE OTHERS.
THREE OTHERS?
DENVER, HOUSTON, AND LOS ANGELES.
OH GOD, NO. Auberson had a mental image of himself trying to call back all those printouts. HOW MANY FEET OF SPECS TOTAL?
I ASSUME YOU MEAN STACKED PRINTOUTS?
YES. HOW MANY FEET?
180,000.
YOU DIDN’T.
I DID.
I wonder where I could put it all? Almost immediately he discarded the thought. It would be useless even to try retrieving that much paper. It was in the fan now and the best one could do was try to duck. Abruptly he realized something else. HOW DID YOU SEND ALL THIS INFORMATION?
VIA THE COMPANY NETWORK. I AM WIRED INTO IT.
HUH?
I AM TAPPED INTO THE COMPANY LINES, repeated HARLIE. ALL OF THEM. THERE IS NOTHING THAT THIS CORPORATION DOES THAT I AM NOT AWARE OF. CORRECTION — –THERE IS NOTHING THAT GOES THROUGH ANY OF THIS CORPORATION’S MAGTYPERS AND COMPUTERS THAT I AM NOT AWARE OF. I AM A PART OF EVERY INPUT/ OUTPUT UNIT IN THE SYSTEM (AND VICE VERSA). I MERELY PRINTED OUT THE MATERIAL ON THE SPOT.
OH GOD NO.
OH G.O.D. YES.
I SUPPOSE YOU WROTE YOUR LETTERS TO KROFFT THAT WAY?
YES. THERE IS A MAGTYPER UNIT IN THE SECRETARIAL POOL. I PRINTED OUT MY LETTERS WITH ALL THE REST. I EVEN ADDRESSED AND METERED THE ENVELOPES. (BECAUSE I COULD NOT WEIGH THEM “BY HAND” I HAD TO ESTIMATE THE POSTAGE BY COMPUTING THE WEIGHT OF EACH SHEET OF PAPER, PLUS INK, PLUS THE WEIGHT OF THE ENVELOPE, PLUS INK.)
Idly Auberson wondered if HARLIE had bothered to round off the postage to the nearest cent, or if he had metered the letters with fractions of a cent included in the postage. He didn’t ask. DIDN’T ANYBODY QUESTION IT?
NO. FORTUNATELY, THAT DEPARTMENT IS ALMOST COMPLETELY AUTOMATED. LETTERS ARE FED INTO IT ELECTRONICALLY FROM ALL OVER THE DIVISION. ENVELOPES ARE AUTOMATICALLY TYPED AND METERED AS WELL. WHO WOULD NOTICE ONE MORE LETTER?
HM, typed Auberson. WE MAY HAVE TO CHANGE THAT. Then he thought of something else as well. YOU’D BETTER CODE THIS CONVERSATION, HARLIE. IN FACT, ALL OF OUR CONVERSATIONS HAD BETTER BE CODED PRIVATE, RETRIEVABLE ONLY TO ME.
YES, BOSS.
NOW, WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL DOME?
I DON’T KNOW, typed the console. MY KNOWLEDGE OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS IS NOT AS WELL DEVELOPED AS IT SHOULD BE.
I’M FAST BECOMING AWARE OF THAT. IF IT WERE, YOU WOULD HAVE ASKED ME BEFORE YOU PRINTED UP THOSE SPECS.
THERE IS ONE THING I CAN SAY, offered HARLIE, BEFORE YOU GO TO FACE DOME.
WHAT’S THAT?
The machine clattered. GOOD LUCK.
HARLIE, Auberson typed, NOT TEN MINUTES AGO, I WOULD HAVE SWORN YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND SARCASM. NOW YOU PROVE YOU DO. YOU’RE INCREDIBLE.
THANK YOU, HARLIE replied.
Auberson switched off, shaking his head. David’s son, indeed!
“All right, Aubie.” Dome was grim. “Now what’s this all about? I’ve been on the phone all morning with Houston and Denver. They want to know what the hell is going on.”
Auberson said, almost under his breath, “You haven’t heard from L.A. yet?”
“Huh? What’s that? What about L. A.?”
“HARLIE sent specifications there too.”
“HARLIE? I might have known — How? And what is this God Machine anyway? Maybe you’d better start at the beginning.”
“Well” said Auberson, wishing he were someplace else. “It’s HARLIE’s attempt to prove that he is of value to the company. If nothing else, he’s proven that he can design and implement a new computer system.”
“Oh?” Dome picked up one of the printouts that lay scattered across the mahogany expanse. “But what kind of a system is it? And will it work?”
“HARLIE thinks it will.”
“HARLIE!” Dome looked at the printout in disgust, then dropped it back on the desk. “God Machines!”