God, I fucking hate the corporate life.
On a sigh, I get up and pull on last night’s boxer shorts. I don’t want to have the uncomfortable morning-after conversation with the look-alike with my junk hanging out.
I’ve just covered my goods when the look-alike, whose name has evaded me, comes wandering into the bedroom, wrapped in a towel.
I inhale sharply as I see the reason why I fell off the wagon.
Fuck. She really does look like Evie.
A hell of a lot more than I expected. That, combined with last night’s consumption of alcohol, explains my current predicament.
I really went all out last night.
The look-alike smiles at me, biting the corner of her lip. Her hand is gripping the top of the towel, holding it in place.
I can’t do anything but stare at her. I feel like my insides are twisting in all the wrong directions, and I have the sick urge to fuck her again.
Jesus Christ.
I close my eyes to break the connection.
“Is this as awkward for you as it is for me?” she asks softly.
I open my eyes and stare over her shoulder. “Yeah.” More than you’ll ever know.
She lets out a laugh, squeaky and high-pitched. It’s nothing like Evie’s soul-touching soft laugh.
Fuck.
She needs to go—now.
“Look”—I scratch the back of my neck as I take a step toward my bathroom—“I’ve gotta jump in the shower and get ready for work. I’m running late already. You okay to let yourself out?”
“Oh…yeah, sure.”
I hear the disappointment in her voice loud and clear.
Instead of feeling like shit, I just feel relieved that she’ll be getting the hell out of here, and I can pretend that last night didn’t happen.
“Cool.” I tap a hand on the doorframe and disappear into the bathroom before she can say anything more.
Pulling my boxer shorts off, I turn the shower on hot and step inside. I put my head under the spray and close my eyes. But all I can see behind my lids is Evie’s face.
“Fuck!” I hiss, punching my fist against the tiled wall.
After ten years, I’m not over her, and I’m still pulling this same shit.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
God, I hate myself. And I hate Evie.
I hate her for living her life without me.
And I hate that I haven’t been able to live without her.
Because, really, all I have done for the last decade is exist inside the haze of my memories of her.
Half an hour later, I’m showered and dressed for work in a suit and tie. I hate ties, but as the head of Gunner Entertainment, I have to look the part.
I head into the living room of the bungalow I call home five days a week. There’s no sign of the blonde, except for the lingering strong scent of perfume.
Thank God.
I live in a rented bungalow at The Beverly Hills Hotel. I could get an apartment, but I can’t bring myself to put down roots here. Even though I grew up in Beverly Hills, it’s never felt like home.
Home is in Malibu where my beach house is. It’s the house that Max and I rented for our year off before we headed to college. It’s the place where I met Evie and where I spent the best year of my life with her—before she left me, and my world came crashing down.
The minute I graduated from Harvard and started working for my father, I was granted access to my trust fund. The first thing I did with that money was go straight to Malibu, and I offered a stupid amount of money to the owner of the beach house. He sold it to me on the spot.
For the three years that I had been away at college, I had kept up with the rent on the beach house. I didn’t go back there in all that time, but I couldn’t let it go either. I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else being in the place that was hers and mine.
The first time I went back inside the house was torture. She was everywhere, in every room.
But no matter how much it hurt, I needed to be there. I needed to be close to her in the only way I could be.
I probably should sell it now, and buy a new house, as I know it isn’t healthy to hang on to the place. But it’s the only thing I have left of her, and I just can’t bring myself to let it go.
During the week, I’m forced to be in Beverly Hills because Gunner Entertainment is here. It’s my family’s studio that my great-grandfather started in the early days of making movies. When my grandfather took it over after his father had passed, he turned it into one of the biggest movie studios in Hollywood. After my grandfather passed, my piece-of-shit father, Eric, took over, and during his last few years, he almost ran the studio into the ground. He was too busy screwing any guy he could, pretending to me and the rest of the world that he wasn’t gay. All the while, taking the drugs, which eventually killed him.
And wasn’t I just my father’s son? Aside from fucking dudes, that is. I took on his form down to the letter.
It was always set that I would take over the family business. Didn’t matter that I didn’t want to. I never wanted anything to do with it. I hate the movie business.
My mother, Ava, is a self-righteous bitch of an actress. My father married her to get his heir to the business. And she was a beautiful up-and-coming actress, ruthless enough to marry a gay man and give him the son he needed.
In return, she got to star in every big blockbuster he could give her. He made her famous, just as he’d promised. She’s one of the biggest names in Hollywood.
I was just the transaction which gave them both what they wanted.
Ava was never around when I was growing up. She was usually filming on set somewhere, and even when she was home, I rarely saw her.
She didn’t give a shit about me. Still doesn’t.
My life was lonely back then. The only person I had in the world was Max.
Until I met Evie. And for the first time in my life, I felt wanted and loved by someone.
And, God, did I love her. Evie was everything to me.
She gave me the reason and strength to tell Ava and Eric to shove the studio up their asses. I walked away from it all to be with her.
I married her, and then a week later, she was gone.
I haven’t seen her since.
After she left, I was adrift. So, I grabbed ahold of the only thing I knew. I went back to the family business. I fell right back in with the sharks, and I’ve been swimming with them ever since.
Grabbing my keys off the side table, I let myself out and start the short walk to the hotel’s coffee shop to get my morning coffee.
Making my way through the hotel, I exchange pleasantries with the staff on duty. When I reach the coffee shop, I push open the door and step straight into the past.
Evie.
She’s standing behind the counter. Her face is turned slightly to the right, her attention on the TV mounted on the wall, and her hair is pulled back into a ponytail.
But it’s her.
I feel like a speeding train has hit me, and I’m pretty sure my heart has stopped beating.
It’s really her.
She’s here.
“Evie?” I breathe out her name, like I’m taking my first real breath in a very long time.
Her body stiffens at the sound of my voice. And I watch as her face turns my way. Those big whiskey-colored eyes that I fell in love with all those years ago meet mine, and my world stands still.
She looks exactly the same.
How is that even possible?
Maybe it’s not. Maybe I’m hallucinating. I mean, falling off the wagon with that chick might have tipped me over the edge, and now, I’ve finally boarded my very own train to crazy town.
I don’t know how much time has passed while we’ve been standing here, staring at one another. My hand is still holding the door open, my foot a step into the past, and my fingers are gripping the wood so tightly that I’m surprised I haven’t ripped a chunk out.