Taking a deep breath, I walk up the steps.
I feel like I’m walking the green mile as I walk toward my front door. My dad’s not a bad guy. He’s the best dad a girl could ask for. But I’ve never lied to him before—at least not a big lie and especially not a whopper like this.
The reality of what I’ve done is sinking in now.
Before, I was too high on the thought of marrying Adam. I was floating on a cloud.
But now, that cloud has bumped me straight back to earth.
“Ready?” Adam says when I stop outside the door.
I glance back at him. “No.” I give a weak smile. “But I have to tell him. Let’s get this over with.”
I unlock the door, letting us in. The minute I step inside the apartment, I just know something’s wrong. I can feel it, like a chill on my skin seeping to my bones. The air feels solemn. I can taste its acridity in my mouth.
I can only remember two times when I felt like this before.
The first was when I was taken into a room at school and told that my parents had been in a car accident and that my mother hadn’t made it. The second was the first day we found out that Casey had a brain tumor.
Turning into the living room, I put my handbag down, and I’m met with my dad, who is sitting on the sofa. He lifts his eyes to mine, and I just know.
“Where’s Casey?” My voice shakes a little, as my eyes work the room for a sign of her.
“She’s in her room, lying down.”
I exhale, but I don’t relax. “Dad…what’s wrong?”
Adam stands behind me, putting his hands on my arms.
Dad lets out a breath and presses his hand on his knee. Then, he looks up at me. “The appointment we had scheduled for next week for Casey’s scan results…well, the doctor’s office called first thing this morning and asked us to come in today instead.” He blows out another breath. “We just got back from there.”
“What did the doctor say, Daddy?” My eyes start to sting with tears.
He bows his head, taking in a deep breath. Then, his head starts to shake from side to side as he lifts it, looking back at me. “I didn’t call you ’cause I knew you were already on your way back, and I didn’t want to worry you in case it was nothing.”
“But it’s something.”
He nods a solemn movement. “The chemo hasn’t worked, Evie. The tumor’s grown. They’re…they’re stopping Casey’s treatment.”
Oh God, no.
“No.” I gasp. Tears start to run down my face.
Adam’s hands grip me tighter, pulling me back to him.
“No, there has to be something they can do. Wh-what about more chemo or a new drug they could try, or a clinical trial? There has to be something!”
Dad shakes his head again. “Dr. Hemmings told me he would check again on the national database for a clinical trial. But he told us not to pin too many of our hopes on it.” Dad blows out a breath. “You know how much Dr. Hemmings loves Casey. If there were something he could do for her, he would.”
Everyone loves Casey. No one more than Dad and me though.
“Daddy…”
“I’m sorry, baby.” He gets to his feet. “It’s not the doctor’s fault. He’s done everything he can for her. He’ll keep her on the drugs to make her as comfortable as possible until…”
She dies.
“No.” I turn in Adam’s arms, and he wraps them around me. I sob in his shirt.
Adam holds me tight, not saying a word. What could he say that would make this right?
Casey is going to die.
I’m going to lose my sister.
I curl my fingers into Adam’s shirt, clinging to him.
How can I go from being so happy to feeling the worst I have ever felt in my life?
This is worse than when Mom died because Casey is still here. She’s so young, and we’re going to have to watch her die.
I feel my dad’s presence behind me.
His hand touches my back. “Evie.”
Adam releases me, and I turn to my dad. He’s not crying. He’s being strong. But I can see in his eyes that it’s killing him.
I fall into his arms. “We can’t just let her die.” I cry. “We have to do something.”
“If I could do something, baby, I would. I swear to you.”
I blink up at him. “How…long?”
“Maybe four months at the most.” Tears fill his eyes this time.
“Then, there’s still time. We can find someway to save her. Maybe a new drug will come on the market.” I can feel hope trying to fight in me.
Dad’s eyes flicker to Adam behind me. Then, his hand comes to the back of my head, tilting my eyes to his. “It might. Hold on to that hope, and so will I. We’ll keep praying that something happens to save her.”
I stay in Dad’s arms for a long time. Adam goes to the kitchen and starts to make coffee.
I just want to be with my sister right now, so I leave my dad and Adam.
I walk down the hall to Casey’s room and quietly open her door.
She’s lying on her bed, facing the window. She looks so tiny there.
She is tiny and so young.
She deserves to have a life, a long life.
We lost Mom. Haven’t we lost enough without losing Casey, too?
Kicking off my shoes, I climb onto the bed behind her and put my arm around her.
She turns her head, looking back at me. “Hey,” she says.
I bite my lip to stop from crying, blinking the tears away. I need to be strong for her. “Hey.”
“Dad talked to you?”
“He did.”
She lets out a slow breath and blinks up at the ceiling. “I…don’t feel ready to die yet, Evie. I know Mom’s up in heaven, and I want to see her, but I don’t want to leave you and Dad.”
My heart cracks wide open.
I rub the tears from my eyes. “You’re not going to die,” I tell her. “Mom won’t let it happen. She loves you, but she doesn’t want you up in heaven with her. That’ll mean she has to start picking up after you again.” I smile at her, trying ease things a little.
Casey laughs softly. Her little giggle reminds me of when she was a baby, and I used to sit for hours with her, making her laugh. The memory hurts. It hurts so badly.
She curls her hand around mine, and I feel her tiny fingers hook onto my ring.
I freeze.
She lifts my hand and examines it. Then, she looks at me, her eyes wide. “You got married?”
I feel sick. I’m the worst person in the world.
Casey shouldn’t have found this out right now. I should have taken my ring off. Adam and I left our rings on because the plan was to come in and tell Dad and Casey straight away. But, of course, that didn’t happen.
“Yes,” I answer slowly.
“Holy cannoli!” She turns over to face me. “I can’t believe you got married!”
I give an uneasy smile.
“Was it in a church?”
I shake my head. “Vegas.”
“Vegas! Oh my God!” She giggles. “Does Dad know?”
“No, and we don’t need to talk about this right now. You’re more important.”
“No freaking way. We are so talking about this. And you say Dad doesn’t know? Is Adam out there right now with Dad?”
“Yes…”
“And does he have his wedding ring on?”
Shit.
“Mmhmm.”
“Then, Dad knows. He might not have spotted it right away, but I’m guessing he had other things on his mind then. Give him another five minutes, and he’ll know.”
Fuck.
But as I stare at Casey’s face, my worry evaporates. I touch my hand to her face. “You’re smiling,” I say.
“Sure I am. Dad is going to blow a gasket when he finds out that you and Adam just got married in Vegas. And that means, for a short while, we don’t have to think or talk about what’s happening with me.”
“Oh, Case.” My eyes instantly fill with tears, and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her to me.
“Just so you know, I’m a little annoyed that I didn’t get to be a bridesmaid,” she says muffled against my shoulder. “But I am happy for you.”