I couldn’t believe the words pouring out of her mouth. All my life I thought she was so strong the way she would see through the men who tried to hurt her. To hear her take responsibility felt wrong. She was just trying to protect her heart. How could she blame herself for that?
“You were always so strong.”
“Honey, I wasn’t strong. I was scared. Too terrified to give my heart to anyone after your father broke it. Now I’m a lonely old woman who wonders what I could have had if only I’d allowed myself to trust someone. I’m happy enough, but I feel like I missed the boat. You understand what I mean?”
“You’re not old,” I argued, moving to the couch to hold her hand.
“I feel old. But sometimes I’m just downright lonely.”
My heart ached at her words. “I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t realize you were lonely. I can come over more often. We’ll do more stuff,” I said as her eyes filled with tears.
“Sweetie, you’ve always been so good to me. I treasure every moment we spend together, but I know you’re busy with school and work. Besides, this kind of loneliness is different. I ache for companionship.”
I silently gnawed on her words. In a million years, I never would have expected to hear that kind of admission from her. I’d always admired Mom for her strong sense of independence. I wanted to be like her. Now I found myself reeling, not knowing what to believe.
She changed the subject, and for the rest of the afternoon we continued to chat like we did every Sunday, but we stayed away from the sticky subject of relationships. Only when I was pulling on my jacket to leave did she tell me to take her words to heart.
The next day Dalton still hadn’t called or texted. My doubts increased. Despite Mom’s big revelation, I was starting to think my instincts were right. Dalton had got what he wanted from me and he had moved on. I ended up skipping classes that morning and moping around the house.
I was debating watching a House Hunters marathon or taking a nap when my phone finally chimed. I nearly dropped it in my haste to answer when I saw Dalton’s name on the caller ID.
“Hello,” I answered. My voice was harsher than I intended.
“Courtney?”
“I see you found your phone again.” The sarcastic reply tumbled from my mouth before I could even think of retracting it.
I heard him sigh over the phone before he answered, “I’m sorry about that, Court. I know in light of our history that didn’t come off well.”
His voice sounded defeated and my sudden flare of anger completely dissipated. “What’s going on, Dalton?”
He hesitated, exhaling deeply before answering, “Just a bunch of crap.”
“With the team?” I sat on the edge of the couch on pins and needles waiting for him to get to the point.
“Nah, I wish. This is the same shit I’ve been dealing with for years. I guess you could say it finally came to a head.”
“Is it anything I can help with?” My heart was starting to ache from the pain I could hear in his voice.
“You’re doing it, babe. Just talking to you makes me feel so much better.”
“I wish I was there,” I said wistfully.
“Nah, you don’t. There’s nothing good about the place my mind is at right now. I would drag you down.”
“Dalton, can you tell me what’s wrong? Maybe talking about it will make it more manageable.”
He sighed again. “It’s just the same old family drama, trying to live up to the expectations of my asshole father.”
“You’re kidding, right? Your dad’s a sports guy. Aren’t you like a sports dad’s wet dream? Excuse me for putting it that way, but how the hell could you not be living up to his expectations?”
He chuckled wryly. “Shit, now I do wish you were here. I like hearing you all fired up. I bet you look seriously adorable right now, all ferocious.” He sounded marginally happier. “My father’s just always demanded the best from me. Sometimes I think he wants my basketball career more than I do. Every once in a while I get sick of hearing his shit. That’s basically what happened this weekend, but times ten.” His voice trailed off.
“What happened?” I was sure I sounded pushy, coaxing him along, but I wanted him to continue opening up to me.
“I pretty much told him to fuck off.”
“Wow.”
“I couldn’t stop myself. I’ve got enough going on in my head with the tournament without him coming to my room to tell me I’m fucking up by obsessing over some girl who means nothing. I lost it. I swear I wanted to rip his head off. Collin talked me down, but in the end I told him I was done with his abuse, that I was done with basketball. Coach Riley showed up. It turned into a whole thing.”
“No,” I gasped. I couldn’t believe things could escalate to that point. To think Dalton would be willing to walk away from basketball.
“I meant it. I’ll finish out the season, but I’m done trying to carry his dreams. It’s stopped being fun.”
“It could still be fun, Dalton,” I said. “If your dad would take your not so subtle hint and back off, maybe you could start to enjoy the game again. And I’ll be there, cheering you along.”
“You will? I was worried you wouldn’t forgive me for not calling. I just couldn’t until I got my shit together. My head has been seriously messed up the last few days. I’m sorry for doing that to you, babe.”
“Dalton, I understand. You don’t have to apologize. Want to know the truth? I had my doubts, but that’s my lame-ass insecurities.”
“Damn, I got to go. Coach is calling me.”
“Go. Call me when you get a chance. And, Dalton?”
“Yes?”
“I’ll be watching you tonight. I expect to see you enjoying the moment. And kicking some ass.”
He laughed. “You know it, babe.” He went silent, making me think he’d hung up already.
“Courtney?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“Hey, girl. Why aren’t you answering your messages?” Amanda demanded to know when she showed up for her shift.
“Did you text me?” I pulled my phone from my apron pocket. “Crap, it’s dead. I forgot to charge it after I talked to Dalton earlier. What did you need?” I asked as I plugged the phone in behind the bar. I definitely needed a charged phone.
“All I know is Collin told me you have to watch SportsCenter tonight.”
“What time?”
She pulled her phone from her apron to check the time. “Oh hell, like now,” she said, grabbing one of the remotes to change the channel on the TV that was closest to us.
“Hey,” a middle-aged guy nursing his third beer tried to gripe, but he was in over his head at the moment.
“Shush,” Amanda said, glaring at him.
Any other time, I would have chastised her for being rude to a customer, but my eyes were glued to the TV, where the announcer had just said Dalton’s name. I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting, but it definitely wasn’t this. Dalton was once again sporting a painted face, but this time it was nothing but the letter C on his cheek.
A giggle bubbled up through me. I was certain that C was for me. Dalton had found a way to make sure I was there. Beer Belly Dude muttered under his breath that Dalton was turning into a pansy, which earned him another glare from Amanda.
We turned up the volume so we could hear the interview.
“Dalton, I have to ask. What does the C stand for?”
“All I can tell you is that it’s meant for someone very special to me.” With his answer, Dalton looked directly into the camera and held up his hand in the shape of the letter C.