“I’m in.” Courtney linked her elbow with mine. The two of us were giggling as we pushed through the groups huddled up close to the bar and wound our way into the middle of dance floor, where we completely cut loose.
Sweaty bodies beat around us, but I couldn’t even begin to mind. We danced for minutes, or hours, I didn’t know. All I knew was I was having the best time I’d had in so long, and I no longer felt like the pariah, like someone people would whisper about.
Because no one here knew.
A month had passed since I returned to campus, and not one person had uttered a word to me about what had happened.
Courtney started dancing with some random guy, and she cast me a telling smile as she turned away. I returned an accepting grin, giving her the go-ahead before I lifted my face toward the high ceiling that strummed with lights. Colors flashed across my face and lit up behind my closed eyes, and I completely gave myself over to my newfound freedom.
I was lost in the crowd, but still I felt it strike me. Tension infiltrated the already heavy air, thickening it more, making it difficult to breathe. I felt them, eyes watching me dance, traveling my curves as I moved.
A burst of modesty tried to crack the surface of the buzz that sedated my mind.
But tonight, it couldn’t touch me.
Because I welcomed it. I wanted him to see me.
God, how much time had I spent dreaming of him? Darryn Wild, that boy-man-god who’d stolen so many of my thoughts, that teasing smile that did something to me I’d never felt before, made me shy in a way I liked, like he saw beneath all the red to the girl below.
Now I could feel him, his eyes all over me, caressing me slowly, up and down.
I let all my insecurities drift away as I swayed in time to the music, in sync with the throb of the crowd and the intermittent lights that glowed against my lids.
A charged moment passed, before strong hands found my hips and gripped them from behind. For a beat, I stiffened, before I again gave in to this sublime release. And again, he felt good. Right. All this intense energy that ricocheted between us wrapped me up in a frenzy of nerves, alight and alive. The smell of him took me whole, all soap and man and sex.
Oh God.
My heart beat frantically, racing to keep up with my thoughts that were spiraling out of control.
A shimmer of fear slithered through me, before he pulled my back into the safety of his firm chest.
And that was what I felt.
Safe.
With him, and I didn’t know why, and I was searching inside myself for resolve, for the commitment I’d made to never allow myself to be so easily played again.
But it was just out of my reach.
Darryn held me close, our bodies moving in time, like we shared the same breath, the same space. I leaned back, my head on his shoulder as his face found the curve of my neck. Chills sped, spinning my body into a violent cataclysm of need. He let his hands roam, palms pressing hard as he ran them down the front of my legs, spanning them wide as he trailed them back up to my hips and over my stomach. Fingertips dipped into my ribs as he slid them up the curve of my sides, and he lifted my arms as he went, in the same fluid motion fastening my hands around the back of his neck.
All those butterflies scattered, a clash of discordant wings that fluttered haphazardly through my insides, leaving my stomach in a coiled mess of confusion and need.
Why him? Why now?
Holding me close, he brushed his mouth over the shell of my ear, his whispered words injected directly to my manic heart. “Goddamn, Misha. What are you trying to do to me?”
I suddenly found it impossible to breathe, because it was him who was slowly undoing all the fibers of reservation woven through my weakened spirit.
“Can’t get you off my mind.” He leaned in closer, his hand sweeping up my stomach. Fingers brushed between my breasts, and I released a sharp gasp.
“Been dying to touch you,” he murmured low. He began to prod me back, slowly leading me away from the heaving bodies on the dance floor. The riot of the crowd bled into black as he edged us through the club, his roaming hands leaving me completely stripped of any defenses. Walls rose on each side of us as he drew me backward into the darkened hallway. Darryn pulled me into its depths, before he suddenly spun me in his hold and pinned my back up against the wall.
And it wasn’t fear I felt when I looked at up at him, captured by those hazel eyes that were more intense than anything I’d ever seen as they searched me frantically, his hands just as frantic when he twisted his fingers through the locks of my hair on both sides of my head.
It was desire.
He yanked me against him, tilting my chin up by the force of his hold in my hair.
I grunted.
“Tell me you want me, too,” he demanded in a pained whisper, his eyes flying across my face. “Tell me you lie in bed at night and when you close your eyes, you see me. Because all I can see is you.”
Shock punched all the air from my lungs, and my mouth dropped open—I was stunned by his blatant admission.
That gaze darted to my parted lips and back to my eyes, our bodies heaving with the tension that continued to wind us higher and higher.
Shivers lifted on a swollen wave and broke over my skin with a heated rush of desire.
And I wanted to laugh through the haze of alcohol. Because none of this made a lick of sense, how this boy-man-god could say things like he could see right inside my mind, like he’d just mimicked my most secret thoughts, ones of him that I couldn’t escape every single time I closed my eyes, how he could make me feel like nothing else in this world mattered except for his hands on me—right here, right now.
Just for tonight, he made me want to be brave.
Even in my heels, I had to push to my toes to reach his mouth, but it was me who closed the distance, me who seemed desperate to feel.
His reaction was immediate, and his breath rushed across my face as his body crushed mine to the wall. His mouth overtook mine, unyielding, his tongue demanding as he swiped it across my teeth, then dove in to tangle with mine, assaulting me with long, hard strokes.
Trembles rolled through me, and my knees went weak, because whatever desperation I’d had to feel his mouth against mine paled in comparison to the recklessness he devoured me with now. His hands and mouth and the racing beat of his heart consumed all my senses.
Shaking, I kissed him with all abandon, like this was the one chance I had, like it was the one moment I’d been granted to feel like this—like I was important and beautiful and somehow this gorgeous man could want me for who I was and it didn’t stem from the infamy Hunter had cast like a bounty on my head.
Hunter.
The errant thought of him caused a resurrection of my insecurities, the memories blossoming full as I thought back to the way Hunter had initially made me feel. When Hunter first asked me out, I’d been so shy and scared, sure no one would pay any interest to the small-town girl who’d been sheltered all her life. Hunter had showered attention on me, and I’d clung to the way it made me feel.
Special.
Sickness coiled in my stomach.
Because again, I was feeling it, although Hunter hadn’t come close to skimming the magnitude of what Darryn had bounding through my veins.
Fear took hold.
God, what was I doing? Rushing into the same thing as I’d done with Hunter? Desperate to feel? Desperate to please?
I couldn’t do this again.
I managed to wriggle my hands between our bodies that were plastered together, and there was nothing I could do to stop the whimper that escaped my throat at the feel of his chest under my hands. Darryn did something to me, touched me somewhere deep inside that I didn’t even recognize, drew me in, tempted me.