He’d been wrong. What he’d thought was best had been a nightmare. “Reese’s past is hers to share with you. But I’ll tell you, anything would have been better than the life she survived.”
Benedetto tensed, and pain slashed across his face. Did he know more than he was letting on? How could he know? “I’ve made many mistakes in this life,” he said, watching as Nonna took Reese into the house before turning back to me. “But that mistake is one I can never forgive myself for. I’ll go to my grave with that part of my soul destroyed.”
He knew. He had to know.
“Let’s go inside. Hernaldo will make sure the luggage gets to the correct rooms.” Benedetto gestured for me to walk with him.
We walked in silence, and I replayed his words over and over in my head. How could he know what Reese had suffered? Who would have told him? She’d come here to tell him and unburden herself of things left unsaid. If he knew already, why didn’t he let her know?
“Knowing my daughter is with a man who can and will protect her with his life is comforting to me. She loves you, and I can see that you love her. But I want you to understand that if there is ever a time when you stop loving her or you can’t protect her anymore, you must bring her to me. Do you understand?”
I was never leaving or giving up Reese. Not for any reason. “I understand. But that day will never come. Reese is my life. She’s my future.”
Benedetto nodded. “Good. That’s what I want to hear.”
Reese
Nonna had kept me with her all afternoon, until Raul had returned home and insisted it was his turn to hang out with me. I enjoyed my time with them, and it pushed the conversation I needed to have with my father to the back of my mind. Benedetto was still a stranger to me in so many ways. He felt powerful yet loving. I knew he was glad to have found me, but I didn’t know him the way I felt I was getting to know Nonna and Raul.
Telling him about the baby scared me. He seemed to be a very traditional man. Even though I knew he’d had sex with my mother as a fling and left me behind, he expected more from his family. How would he feel about me being pregnant and not even engaged? Would that disappoint him?
I had planned to come see him to tell him how the past had marked me. How it was hard to forgive him for leaving me with my mother. But now that didn’t seem as important. I had a baby to think of. A child I would never allow to experience the horror I had lived through. I wanted this baby protected and loved. If Mase wasn’t ready for this, I had to know that someone wanted us. That someone would take care of us.
Once dinner was over, I turned to my father. “I’d like to speak with you,” I said softly while the others still talked among themselves. Raul was telling Mase about a game of basketball he’d played last week.
Benedetto gave me a warm smile. “Of course. Let’s go to my library.”
He began to stand, and I glanced around as I did, too. Everyone was going to know we were leaving to speak alone. I didn’t mean to draw attention to the matter. Especially around Mase, who would think I was going to talk to my father about something entirely different.
“I’m stealing my daughter away so I can have some time with her. This bunch demands all her attention, but I’d like some, too. Please, enjoy a cocktail in the drawing room while we have a private moment,” Benedetto said, holding out his arm for me to take.
“You stingy old goat,” Nonna complained, but I could see the pleased look in her eyes.
I looked down at Mase and gave him a reassuring smile. I didn’t want him following us. This had to be done alone.
“If he bores you too much, remember, you can always escape by saying you aren’t feeling well. Works like a charm,” Raul called out as we left the table and headed down the hallway to the library.
“The boy thinks I believe him when he uses that excuse, too. I just know if he says he isn’t feeling well, he’s already checked out on me and isn’t listening to a word I’m saying. What’s the use in keeping him?”
I laughed. Hearing the two of them carry on with each other like this gave me hope that I could be a good parent. That I had it in my blood to be the mother my baby deserved. That one day, twenty years from now, we would be joking with each other and cherishing shared memories.
Benedetto opened the library door, and I walked inside. The smell of leather and books engulfed me, and I wanted to inhale deeply. Once books had terrified me. I hadn’t wanted to be near them for fear I’d be asked to read. Now I wanted to open every book and discover the treasures inside.
“Have a seat, and I’ll fix us a drink. Would you like a martini?”
I shook my head. “A club soda will do.”
Benedetto studied me. Instead of walking over to the bar behind two large oak doors, he stood across from me. “No drink?” he asked, watching me.
“No,” I replied.
He let out a sigh, and then a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Passerotta, you are to make me a grandfather.” He didn’t seem disappointed. He seemed . . . hopeful.
I nodded, waiting for more of a reaction.
He clapped his hands and let out a shout of laughter. “This is news to celebrate. Why did you not tell us as soon as you arrived? We could have had a celebration dessert prepared. Nonna will be tickled pink.”
“Mase doesn’t know yet,” I said, causing Benedetto’s smile to fade.
“He doesn’t know? But why haven’t you told him?”
Because . . . what if he left me? What if he wasn’t ready? “It wasn’t planned. He hasn’t even proposed. He’s not ready for this,” I said, my fears tumbling from my heart and out of my mouth.
“That man loves you, Reese. He adores you. He would take on an army for you. Why would you think he won’t rejoice over the news that you’re carrying his child?”
I sank onto the leather sofa behind me. “He says I am his future, but he never discusses it, really. A child isn’t in his plans. I’m going to tell him, but if he isn’t ready, I . . . I won’t be able to stay with him.”
Benedetto walked over and sat down across from me. “If he isn’t ready, you will come to me. Nonna, Raul, and I would make sure you and your baby want for nothing. But that won’t be the case. You will make that man the happiest on the planet when you tell him. He wants you forever, passerotta. This will be his insurance that he has you. He fears losing you even more than you fear losing him. I can see it in his eyes.”
I wanted him to be right. I wanted Mase and me to share the joy and excitement of the life we had created. If only I knew he’d feel the same way.
“Tell me you will tell him soon. Trust me. Trust him. Give him this chance to prove he loves you and that he wants this.”
“What if he feels pressured into doing something he doesn’t want to do? Like asking me to marry him? If he’d wanted to do that, he would have by now, wouldn’t he? He was raised by a mother who taught him right from wrong; I don’t want him proposing to me because he thinks it’s the right thing to do.”
Benedetto nodded his head. “That is understandable. Men sometimes have the worst timing in the world when it comes to proposals. However, you don’t have to accept his proposal if you don’t think he means it. Let him wait. When you’re sure he loves you and wants you as his wife for no reason other than he can’t live without you, then you can say yes. But not until then.”
I could do that. Just because he felt he had to propose didn’t mean I had to feel that I had to say yes. We didn’t have to be married, anyway. There wasn’t a rule book that said we had to be married to be parents.