He accepted the glass with mumbled thanks. Kate sat in one of the armchairs. Alex went to the other. He took a sip of brandy, and winced. Gingerly he touched his mouth again.
“How is it?” she asked.
“Okay.”
She looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry about tonight. About what happened.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. You got dragged into a situation that … well, it wasn’t your problem.”
“You don’t have to tell me.”
“Yes, I do, I owe you an explanation, at least.”
Kate felt the need of a brandy herself. But she was determined to abstain. She wasn’t going to risk anything interfering with the chances of becoming pregnant. “I used to be involved with Paul. We were at the same agency for a while, but then things got unpleasant and I left. I didn’t see him for years, but then I won a pitch he wanted, and he lost his job, and now he blames me.”
Alex looked into his glass. “How involved were you?”
“We lived together for over a year. I thought … well, I was thinking in terms of marriage and babies. I must have been stupid.”
“Why?”
“Oh, it isn’t really worth going into.”
To her surprise, though, she found she wanted to. “I just didn’t see what sort of person Paul was, that’s all. He was the agency’s marketing director, and I was the new girl. I suppose I was flattered that he took an interest in me. It took a while for me to realise he was taking an interest in half the other girls in the office as well. And anybody else that took his fancy. By the time I did, we were living together.”
Kate swallowed. She could feel Alex watching her. “Anyway, eventually I confronted him. He denied it, and like a fool I believed him. But then something else would happen, and I’d confront him again, and he’d deny it again. That went on for a while, and then one night we had a blazing row. You know, a real vase smasher. And he didn’t deny it any more. He said — he said it was my fault. That I drove him to it.”
She stopped, remembering the crushing lack of self-respect. She shook it off and went on. “I should have left him then, but … well, I didn’t. We made up. But now he knew he could get away with it, he didn’t even try very hard to hide what he was doing any more. And then — ” She broke off.
“What?” Alex asked.
“Nothing. I just left him.”
“What were you going to say?”
“Nothing,” she repeated, but there was no conviction in her voice. She could feel Alex watching her. “He gave me VD.”
Part of her couldn’t believe she was telling him this. Only Lucy knew, and she never alluded to it. Kate could feel the rawness and shame surfacing again, but also a relief at telling someone. Telling Alex. “The doctor at the hospital told me it was nothing serious, only gonorrhoea, and that a course of antibiotics would clear it. So then I told Paul. And he … uh, he blamed me. Called me a slut and a whore, and accused me of giving it to him. He knew I hadn’t, but it was easier than accepting he was in the wrong. And I suppose he was upset because he knew he’d have to go for treatment himself, and get in touch with all the girls he’d slept with recently. He’d got to take it out on somebody. So he threw me out of the flat we were sharing. You know, physically pushed me out, and started throwing all my clothes out of the window. The neighbours called the police, and when they came he started telling them what a whore I was, and what I’d given him. I think he’d almost started to convince himself by that time. And I looked at these two policemen, and I could tell they believed him. They didn’t say anything, but they looked at me like I was … dirt.”
She noticed she was plucking at the chair arm. She folded her hands back on her lap like an unwanted book. “Anyway, he refused to let e back in. I didn’t know anywhere else to go, so I phoned Lucy. She and Jack had only just had Emily, but they let me stay with them until I found a flat. I was in quite a state. I couldn’t go back to work, not with Paul there. I suppose I had a sort of breakdown. I cut myself off from all my friends, except Lucy. I couldn’t face seeing any of them. I started chain-smoking, bursting into tears for no reason. Then Lucy got me some freelance work with someone Jack knew. I did a few more jobs like that and ended up starting my own agency.”
She shrugged. “Instant work therapy.”
Alex was listening with an intense expression. “What about Paul?” he asked.
“I’m not with you.”
“Was tonight the first time you’ve seen him since then?”
“I wish.”
She told him, briefly, about the pitch for the Parker Trust account, and its aftermath. When she finished she took a deep breath. “So that’s what you ended up in the middle of tonight.”
Alex didn’t say anything. Kate tried to phrase another apology, when a smell she had been peripherally aware of for some time finally registered. “God, the coffee!”
She leapt from her chair and ran to the kitchen. The odour of burnt coffee became much stronger. The espresso percolator was blackened around its base. It was hissing threateningly as Kate turned off the gas. She picked it up by the black plastic handle and hastily set it down again, shaking her hand. “Damn!”
Heat radiated from the metal as Kate used a cloth to pick it up this time. She turned a tap on and tentatively held the percolator under the stream of water. The sudden burst of steam almost made her drop it.
“I’d just leave it to cool. You’ll crack the metal doing it that way.”
She hadn’t heard Alex come in. Kate poured a little coffee into one of the cups, and wrinkled her nose at the sharp odour. She set the percolator back on the cooker. “Looks like coffee’s off. I’ve got instant, though. Or tea?”
“It’s okay. I ought to phone for a taxi, really.”
His edginess was contagious. “Okay.”
She turned away. “The phone’s in the hall.”
She went to pour the coffee down the sink and, without thinking, picked up the percolator by the hot metal. With a cry, she dropped it and boiling coffee splashed out as it struck the cooker. Kate jumped back, but the scalding liquid spattered her bare wrists. She gasped at the pain of it, and then Alex was beside her, pushing her to the sink.
“Here.” He was spinning the cold tap on full. “Put them under.”
She recoiled from the force of the cold water, but he kept both her arms in the stream, turning them so that the water gushed over her burnt hand and scalded wrists. Red patches had already formed where the coffee had landed on her skin, and Alex kept them under the tap until her entire forearms started to ache from the cold.
“I think that’ll do it,” she said.
Alex shook his head, still holding them in the icy water. “Not yet. If you keep them in long enough it’ll stop them from blistering.”
She glanced at him. He stood pressed against her, his hands gripping her arms at the elbow, face intent. At last he turned off the tap. “Is there a clean towel?”
“In that drawer.”
Kate motioned with her head. Alex took one out and gently dabbed her arms dry. The livid patches were not as angry as they had been, and no longer hurt. Her arms felt numb from elbow to finger tips.
“Have you got any E45 cream?”
Kate didn’t even know what it was. “No. Savlon?”
Alex gave a terse shake of his ha, still patting her arms with the towel. “Anything you use for sunburn?”
“There’s some aloe lotion. On the shelf in the bathroom.”
He nodded approval. “What about painkillers?”
“It doesn’t hurt.”
“It will, once the numbness has worn off.”
“I think there’s some aspirin in the bathroom.”