“You could always come to the gym with me.”
“No, thanks. If God had meant women to be slim he wouldn’t have invented chocolate.” She popped another prawn into her mouth. “Anyway, look what happened the last time I went to a gym. I met Jack.”
Kate poured them both more wine, then settled back against the old leather settee. She felt drowsy and comfortable. She had known Lucy for seven years, but it seemed much longer. Lucy had been a receptionist at the agency where Kate had been given her first PR job, and where Paul Sutherland had been marketing director. Her pneumatic figure and tendency towards tight clothes had turned men’s heads, but two children and a sweet tooth had changed all that. If she minded the trade, though, she didn’t show it. Sometimes Kate envied her. Lucy sucked her fingers. “So you’re adamant you’re not going to the police about Paul?”
“I don’t think there’s much point. It’d only be his word against mine.” Kate reached for her wine glass. “Besides, nothing really happened in the end.”
“It would have if you hadn’t stopped him. And how do you know he won’t try it again?”
“I’ll be more careful. I don’t think he will, though. He was just drunk and worked up about them losing the pitch. I can’t see even Paul being stupid enough to make a bigger thing of it.”
Lucy gave a laugh. “I can.”
Kate accepted this without comment. Lucy had tried to warn her off Paul Sutherland from the start. She hadn’t listened.
“So what happens now you’ve won the pitch?” Lucy asked. “Are you going to back off and take things a little easier?”
“I wish. Now’s when the hard work really starts.”
Lucy selected another prawn. “So delegate. You’re always saying how good Clive is.”
“He is, but I can’t dump everything on him.”
“So you’ll try and do it all yourself, until you have a — ” Lucy broke off. “Well, until you drop,” she finished. The first flames licked through the coal as the fire began to burn in earnest. Kate watched them. “I enjoy working,” she said.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t have a social life as well.”
“I’ve got one.”
Lucy snorted. “Going to the gym’s hardly what I’d call being a party animal.”
Kate rubbed her neck. Probing tendrils of another headache announced their presence. “Don’t go on about it.”
“I’m sorry, Kate, but I can’t just sit back and watch you work yourself into a frazzle.” The firelight gave Lucy’s blonde hair a reddish tint. “I know running a business isn’t easy. God knows, Jack puts enough hours into it. But you need some sort of existence outside work.
“Without warning, Kate’s vision blurred. The fire dissolved into sparkling prisms. She turned away, blinking her eyes clear.
“Kate? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m all right.”
Lucy tore off a piece of kitchen roll and handed it to her. “No, you’re not. You’ve been in an odd mood all night.” She waited until Kate had blown her nose. “Is it what happened with Paul?”
“No, I’m just being a silly cow, that’s all.
“Lucy just looked at her.
“I don’t know what’s wrong,” Kate blurted. “I should be ecstatic, but I just feel …” She tossed the wad of kitchen roll onto the fire. It held its shape for a moment, then disappeared in a spurt of flame. “I don’t know how I feel.”
The flame died down, leaving a grey curl of ash. A thin tail of smoke wavered up from it. Kate looked away, unconsciously brushing at her sleeve.
Lucy was watching her. “You need a holiday.”
“I don’t have time.”
“Then make time. I know starting your own agency was the best thing you could have done after the mess with Paul, I’m not disputing that. But it’s not healthy to carry on burying yourself in it. If you were enjoying yourself I wouldn’t mind, but you’re obviously not.”
“I’m just feeling a bit low, that’s all.”
“Oh, come on, Kate, that’s bollocks, and you know it.” Lucy sighed and set down her glass on the coffee table. “Look, I don’t want to go on about it. But you can’t let one bad experience sour you for life. It’s time you put it behind you.”
“I have put it behind me.”
“No, you haven’t. Before you started seeing Paul you used to be going out all the time, but since then you’ve just cut yourself off from everybody.”
Kate shrugged. “People lose touch.”
“Only if you let them. How many people did you bother to tell when you moved into your flat? I bet most of them don’t even know where you live any more.” Lucy waited for her to deny it. Kate didn’t. “And you haven’t so much as been out for a drink with another man since you split up with Paul, and that’s been more than three years, now.”
“I haven’t met anyone I want to go out with.”
“You haven’t tried. I’ve seen you when we’re out together. You’ve got this aura around you that says, ‘Don’t touch.’”
“What do you want me to do? Fall flat on my back for every man I meet?”
“No, but you don’t have to turn into a nun, either. Come on, be honest. Can you seriously tell me you don’t miss sex?”
Kate avoided looking at her. “I don’t think about it much.”
“That’s not a straight answer.”
“All right, then, no, I don’t particularly miss it. Okay?”
“Then there’s something wrong with you.” Lucy began to take a drink, then lowered her glass as another argument occurred to her. “I know some women are perfectly happy putting their career before everything, but I just don’t think you’re one of them. And, let’s face it, you’re not getting any younger.”
“Thanks.”
“Well, you’re not. You’re thirty-four next year. You might like to think you’re Superwoman, but your biological clock’s running the same as everyone else’s. Don’t you think it’s about time you started thinking about having a family, and — “
“Oh, come on!” Kate’s wine sloshed as she banged down the glass. “Hear me out — “
“I don’t have to, I know what you’re going to say! I should get married, settle down, cook tea! Sorry, but I don’t think so. You might be happy being a housewife, but there’s more to my life than that!”
She was surprised herself by the heat in her voice. Lucy looked at her for a moment, then wrapped her arms around her legs and gazed at the fire. “Perhaps there is. But I’m not the one who’s been in tears, am I?”
The flames popped and crackled in the silence. “Sorry,” Kate said. “I didn’t mean that.”
“It’s all right.” Lucy turned to her again. “I meant what I said. And you can scream and shout all you like about not wanting a relationship, and not wanting to settle down. But I’ve seen how you are with Angus and Emily, so don’t try to tell me you don’t want children, because I won’t believe you.”
Kate tried to produce a denial, but none came. Lucy nodded, as if this confirmed her point, but before she could say anything else they heard the front door being unlocked. “Sounds like the reading finished early,” Lucy said, cocking her head. She leaned forward quickly and put her hand on Kate’s knee. “All I’m saying is, ask yourself what you really want. And then do something about it.” She fixed Kate with a firm look, then sat back as footsteps approached down the hallway. Kate reached for another piece of kitchen roll.
“Are my eyes red?”
Lucy stretched, twisting her hands from side to side above her head. “No, and it wouldn’t matter if they were,” she said, through a yawn. “When Jack’s had a couple of pints he wouldn’t notice if you were starkers.”
The lounge door opened and a heavily built man bustled in, grinning. His wiry, black hair was thicker on his forearms than it was on his head. He bent and kissed Lucy. “All right, luv? Hi, Kate.”