I tried calling Brett, hoping he could add a bright spot to my evening, but he didn’t answer. It was the second time that he hadn’t answered my call. Even his text messages were shorter and less flirty than normal. I couldn’t say that I blamed him. Things between us weren’t exactly going swimmingly. It was starting to seem like we were bound to be sidetracked when it came to taking our relationship to the next level.
Although, sleeping in the same bed had been very nice. He was hard and soft all at the same time. The way he wrapped his arms around me and intertwined his legs with mine as we slept might have been the highlight of my year. Sleeping alone in a queen size bed for as long as I had, I was surprised at how quickly I’d fallen asleep. I was usually at war with myself over my schedule, exam questions, or memories. That night with Brett, I’d fallen into a deep sleep fast to the feel of his chest rising and falling against my back. Quietly lulled into a peaceful state as he held my hand in his. The following nights, not so much. The following nights, I tossed and turned with thoughts of how I could make things better with us.
He might not have admitted it, but I know he was put off by the necklace. I knew that he was questioning even being with me. My ignored phone calls and short text responses said that much. I had a feeling that Tuesday night was going to be the night we really talked about things. I was ready to tell him everything. I was ready to let him in completely.
If anything, the dinner with the Shaws had been the eye opener I needed to get myself to the place I was ready to be with Brett. I needed to close the door on my relationship with Jamie. Not the memories, but the constant rehashing. I needed to not let myself wallow in the past. Jim was right about getting out and seeing the world. He was right about not letting oneself dwell. I could do this. I wanted to do this.
Me: We still on for Tuesday?
Brett: Yep.
Me: What are you doing?
Brett: Just about asleep. I had a long day. PT and then a call with parts distributors for the ProShop.
Me: Sounds exhausting. I’ll let you get some sleep.
Brett: Good night, Georgia.
Me: I miss you. I erased it and typed out something else.
Me: Sweet dreams, Brett.
I hoped they’d be of me but I wasn’t brave enough yet to tell him that.
Tuesday I would tell him I missed him when he wasn’t around. Tuesday I would tell him that I thought about him all the time. That he was so much more than just some motocross bad boy. That he was smart and funny and that he reminded me what it felt like to be alive.
Tuesday I would tell him that I didn’t know if I could keep going with our little plan to just be friends with benefits. To hell with just a fling. I was ready for more. I would tell him I wasn’t sure I could do this anymore because I was starting to fall in love with him.
I tried to use Monday as a day to really clear my head before I saw Georgia again. I even managed to not smoke an entire pack of cigarettes. I was stressed and I’d promised Will that I’d take it easy on the PT to give my body a chance to rest. The call of a Marlboro Red was tempting, but each and every time I stepped out onto the porch to fire one up, Georgia’s voice popped into my head.
That’s a terrible habit.
No matter how much I wanted to be mad at her and ignore her words, I couldn’t. She was right. It was a bad habit. I loved the way she looked out for people, especially me. She was a caregiver by nature and she had definitely chosen the right career path. It just sucked that it was currently taking up so much of her time.
The more time I spent away from her the more time I had to think about the conversation that needed to happen between us. And, the more I thought about that the more I worried that she wasn’t quite ready to let go of her past. The anxiety of not knowing exactly where I stood with her had me on edge.
I’d driven across the property to Reid’s parents’ home when Georgia’s text came through that the furniture truck would be showing up in about twenty minutes. I wanted to get everything unlocked for them and make sure the house was ready for the ungodly amounts of items I knew Nora and Reid had been ordering over the internet. I’d figured it was a lot because I knew that Reid never did anything half-assed. That’s why we got along so well. We were all out in most aspects of life. The shrill of cicadas was already starting and the air was crisp as I drove along the gravel road. It was a peaceful place to build a home, I’d give Reid that. It was too bad I hadn’t been able to focus on the country charm of the place I was staying.
Georgia’s little black SUV pulled up the lane a few minutes after I’d gotten there. I stood on the front steps and smiled when I saw her get out. The leggings, long flannel shirt, and boots look she was rocking made her look adorably sexy. I’d yet to find a look that I didn’t like on her.
“Hey,” she said as she walked over. “Thanks for helping me with this.”
“No problem.” I reached out a hand to her as she stepped up and placed a kiss on her cheek when she was up to my level. “It’s good to see you.” We held each other’s gaze, both of us obviously wanting to say more, but the second I started to open my mouth we heard the roar of a truck approaching.
“Right on time,” she said with a smile.
“Yep,” I said, as she hopped down off the steps and waited to greet the movers. She pulled a notepad and pen from the bag she had slung over her shoulder. I was sure it was a checklist of items we were expecting. She was always one step ahead.
It didn’t take long for her to start pointing men in directions, telling them what went where and how to set up the rooms. She delivered each and every one of her marching orders with a smile. Not one of guys there seemed to mind taking orders from her. She was Sergeant Barbie, complete with her pink notepad.
“This seems to be going well,” I said sneaking up behind her. The third truck had arrived with a bunch of little boxes. I gathered from the word FRAGILE written across most of them that they were knick-knacks and candles I was going to be helping her unload once all of the trucks had come and gone. I placed my hands on her hips and looked over her shoulder at her list. “What do you want me to do now?” I’d been helping as much as I could and trying to stay out of the professionals’ way.
“This is good,” she said, turning in my arms. Holding her this way almost made me forget my frustrations over the past few days. I leaned in and kissed her lips softly.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too. I’m sorry I was so busy this weekend. I would have much rather been with you than at the hospital and dinner with the Shaws.”
Dinner with the Shaws? And then I remembered Iris saying something about Sunday when we were in the grocery store. Just another reminder of Jamie. Once again he kept showing up at the most inopportune times.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, hearing the disdain in my tone. I noticed one of the movers waiting for instructions from her and took the opportunity to avoid saying something I’d regret in front of a room full of strangers. “I think he needs your help,” I said, pointing over her shoulder. “I’m going to check on the bedrooms. Make sure they got everything in the right place.”
“Um... okay,” she said. I could tell that she knew something she’d said hadn’t set right with me. Was I out of line for being aggravated? I didn’t want to be put off every time the guy’s name was mentioned, but it was off putting.