“Yeah, well, looks like she changed her mind. You win some, you lose some.”
“Wow.” He looked at me like he thought I was screwing with him. “I can’t believe you’re giving up so easy.”
“I’m not,” I snapped. “Or I didn’t. I was two seconds away from going back to Illinois when your brother talked me out of it.” I huffed out of frustration as I turned my hat backwards. “Give her time,” I said, mocking Hoyt’s advice.
“He’s usually right about most things,” Reid said with chuckle. “Maybe she’ll come back around.”
“Maybe,” I said, aggravated at the entire situation. “What the fuck ever, man. Who knows?” I threw my hands up in frustration before resting them on the back of my head. I turned and leaned against the truck. “This is why I don’t do relationships. I need to focus on riding. Not on whether or not she’s going to ever want to see or speak to me again.”
“I think she will.”
A little part of me wanted to tell Reid that I was over it and that she could do whatever the hell she wanted, but a bigger part hoped he was right.
“Do you love her?” Reid asked.
“Obviously,” I bit out at him with sharper teeth on the word than I’d intended. “Which is exactly where I went wrong. I should have never let myself get caught up in her. I should have come back home and done my recovery here. At least then I wouldn’t be standing here feeling like a little bitch crying over a girl who doesn’t want to be with me.” I knew exactly how jaded I sounded. Seventy-two hours of radio silence from the woman he loves will do that to a man.
“That’s love all right.” He smirked. “If you ain’t tied up in a million different knots then it’s not the real thing. Believe me. I know.” I thought back and remembered Reid being a mess when he realized that the girl he loved was dating someone else. I didn’t know if it was worse or better that there wasn’t another guy involved. At least if Georgia wanted to be with someone else I could beat his ass and be done with the whole thing.
Unless he was already dead.
Jamie Shaw was the one guy I couldn’t compete with. Maybe I’d finally lost her to the better man.
I’d somehow found myself in the front seat of Brett’s Expedition a few days later. My sister taking the wheel and pulling the Airstream back to Texas.
“Did you at least text and tell him your coming?” she’d asked. Her persistence had worked, but I wasn’t just doing this for her. I did want to be happy and I’d tired being happy without him. It hadn’t worked. Maybe I could be strong enough. I’d promised him that I’d come to one event—his exhibition was in a few days and I owed him at least that much.
“No,” I told her. “I’m not sure exactly what I’m going to say yet. I still don’t know if we can make it work.”
“I’m just glad that you’re going.” She reached over and grabbed my hand. “You’ll see. It’s not as scary as you think. He’s going to be so excited that you’re there.”
“Don’t tell him just yet. I... I just need some time to figure out what my game plan is.”
“Okay,” she agreed. “You can stay at Reid’s apartment until you’re ready to see him. He’s at the track with Brett anyway. It’s only about twenty minutes from the track.” Nora took the time that we had on our drive and the night before the event to fill me in on all things motocross—more specifically what it was like to be a motocross girlfriend. I have to say, she made it sound exciting.
“Not many jobs get the perks of seeing the world,” she said. “We’ve already been all over the place. Vegas. London. I think in a couple weeks we’re heading to Spain for an event.” I knew that she wasn’t just excited about watching Reid. Nora had been hired as the photographer for Throttled Energy so she was not only living Reid’s dream with him, she was fulfilling hers as well.
The more she talked, the more I wanted to be like her. I wanted to be a part of something. I wanted to be a part of couple. I wanted to be the girl he knew was cheering for him, standing in the spot his family never filled. I just hoped I hadn’t screwed it all up.
I stood in front of the mirror in Reid’s bathroom for a good twenty minutes trying to psych myself up for the event that day. I was going to see him. I was going to see him ride. I was going to talk to him. I took in a calming breath and held my shoulders back.
You can do this.
Nora had left early that morning to head over to the track and get everything ready for photographing the day. She’d given me a pep talk over coffee, telling me how excited he was going to be to see me and how much I was going to love seeing him in his element.
“It’s like getting to see a completely different side of a person,” she’d said. “He’s the best freestyle rider out there, so you’ll definitely get a good show today.”
“I’m excited,” I told her. “And nervous.” I genuinely was. I’d thought about my conversations with my sister over the past couple of days and she was right about me avoiding the obvious. I loved him. I wanted to make this work. I just hoped that he hadn’t decided I wasn’t worth the effort.
I’d planned my apology and picked out a cute, little, floral sundress to wear that day. I had no idea what people typically wore to an event like this, but I wanted to look good for him. I wanted him to see that despite the fact that I’d fallen apart emotionally, I wasn’t a complete disaster. I fixed my hair and make-up and slipped on a pair of leather ankle books before heading out the door.
I’d driven Nora’s car and followed the directions she’d given me to the track. The traffic slowed as I approached. I waited in line for ten minutes before pulling on to the property, giving myself enough time for one final pep talk before I saw him again. The pass that Nora had given me got me access to the pits, which was where I found my sister and her camera.
“Hey there, baby sister,” she said, greeting me with a smile. “You look extra adorable today.”
“You think?” I asked. “I don’t really have any motocross apparel.” I laughed. I should have just pulled one of her shirts from the closet. The simple black Throttled Energy t-shirt she was wearing with jeans made her look like she was meant to be there. I, on the other hand, was definitely out of my element.
“He’ll love it.” She winked. “Come on Travers,” she screamed at the track. I saw Reid falling behind the other rider he was competing against. “He’s taking the freaking corners too high,” she said tossing her hands up. “Like he’s never raced a damn dirt bike before,” she said under her breath. Her passion for the sport was evident, as well as her passion for number two-thirty-seven. “Come on, babe.”
“I thought this was just an exhibition? Does it matter who wins?”
“It always matters,” she said, the competitive gleam in her eye had me putting my hands up in surrender.
“Okay then.”
We watched the rest of the race and when Reid finished second, I saw my sister shaking her head.
“Well...”
“I shouldn’t worry about it,” she said. “I just know he’s going to beat himself up over that one.” She shrugged and shook her head. “I guess Chayse earned it.”
I looked out on the track and saw the winner pulling off her helmet. The infamous Chayse McCade pulled her dark ponytail over her shoulder and gave Reid a thumbs up as she smiled. Reid sat on his bike, smiled at her and shook his head before clapping. I had to admit, that chick was kind of badass. I was a little prouder to be a girl right then.
The crowd was eating it up. All of them on their feet for the winner as she waved and rode her bike off the track.