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“Brett’s up next,” Nora said. “I need to get in a better position for photos,” she told me. “But, if you watch from here you should be able to see everything.”

“Okay,” I said, feeling the nervous energy roll over me. The second she walked away I heard the announcer call out Brett’s name. He was at the center of the track, driving his bike around the jump I assumed he was going to use.

My skin rippled with goosebumps as I watched him take his mark. I wished I’d talked to him before he went out. I wished I’d told him good luck and that I loved him. Instead, I joined in with the audience clapping and chanting his name and letting myself get totally engrossed in the thrill of it all that afternoon. The smell of exhaust and dirt was growing on me with each passing second.

As his bike roared toward the jump, I held my breath and watched as he soared through the air. His hands let go of the bike and I felt my heart stop dead in my chest. The second his wheels were on the ground and he pumped his fist in the air I came back to life. It was a feeling a lot like I got the first time he kissed me. I had to trust him then and I had to trust him now.

Each time he hit the ramp, I became more and more mesmerized. The control and precision of his movements were perfection. There was no denying that he knew exactly what he was doing and the crowd agreed. I was quickly coming to understand exactly why he loved this sport. It was electrifying. When I saw him ride off the track, I was actually disappointed that it was over. I wanted to keep watching. I wanted to see what more he could do. I’d officially started to become a fan.

I watched the direction he went and took it upon myself to go and find him. I had to tell him that I got it. I had to tell him how amazing I thought he did. My sister was standing across the track as I walked toward the row of sheds where the riders were keeping their bikes. I gave Nora a smile as I passed her—silently asking her to wish me luck.

“Big day,” Nick said. I was giving my bike a thorough once over in the garage. Making sure everything was the way it was supposed to be. I’d perfected my runs over the past few days. Channeling my focus into riding had been easy during the day when I could actually ride. It was the nights that brought on the self-pity and wallowing.

The liquor helped there. I might have drank more than I cared to admit since Georgia dumped me. The sad part was I couldn’t even get drunk and have fun anymore. I pretty much just drowned my sorrows and sat around watching the others in the bar—dancing and having the time of their lives. I’d become that sad sack of a man for a hot minute, and then I decided to suck it up. I had a lot of work to do and not just on my bike. As soon as this exhibition was over, I was going to get her back. I wasn’t letting her go as easily as she thought.

Reid and Hoyt had been doing their part trying to keep my mind off of things. They stopped asking me if I was okay and just started treating me like I was. That helped. Not talking about her was a good thing, even if it’s all I wanted to do. It took everything I had in me to not have Reid ask Nora what her sister was doing. How her sister was doing? If she’d talked to her? If she’d pass a note in class? Do you still love me?

“Sure is,” I told Nick. “I think they’re going to be impressed,” I added referring to the sponsors. “If Travers can’t wow them with his time trials, surely they will hand over the cash when they see me fly through the air,” I chuckled.

“I’m banking on it,” he said patting me on the back. “I wanted to say thanks for giving this your all. I know that last few months have been rough with the injury,” he said.

“What else was I going to do?” I shrugged. “This is all I’ve got.” It was true. This dirt bike was the only thing I had in my life. Sure, it might crash to the ground and break my body into a million pieces. Couldn’t hurt any worse than having your heart ripped out.

“Don’t think the higher ups haven’t noticed your dedication,” he added. “You’ve got a contract with Throttled as long as you want it.”

“Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.” At least with things in my personal life such a mess, I had one good thing to focus on. I’d wanted this career for as long as I could remember. “I won’t let you down today.”

He smiled as he shot me a thumbs up. “I better go check in on Chayse. I’m sure she’s nervous about today.” It was her first day of riding for some of the big wigs at Throttled. I knew one person that was way more nervous than the company’s newest rider.

“You might want to check in on Hoyt too,” I suggested.

“Will do,” he agreed with a low chuckle.

After he left, I pulled on all my riding gear and enjoyed the moment alone. There were already hundreds of people filling the property. The hum of dirt bike motors was already littering the air. I’d be out there soon, but right now I needed to clear my head. I needed to visualize my approaches. I needed to visualize each trick and how I was going to execute it. Nothing could go wrong today. I had to be perfect.

When I finally saddled up and headed over to the track, I was ready. My pulse raced as I waited for my turn to shine. Reid and Chayse were putting on quite a show at the moment—racing each other for the crowd they’d invited for the event. It was smart to open the gates to the public. A free event every once a while was good for the brand. Throttled wanted to make money, but they also wanted to reward loyalty. Five hundred tickets had been handed out to MVP fans and their families. They would make enough money off the merchandise they sold to cover the costs.

Riding for an audience had always suited me better. I needed the applause to fuel me. I loved being the center of attention for those few seconds. I stopped my bike and signed few autographs when I got to the crowd. The excited faces of the young fans were my favorite.

“You’re my favorite rider,” a little boy said as I signed his Sallinger jersey.

“Thanks, man” I told him getting ready to sign my name. “What’s your name?”

“Joey,” he said proudly. The missing front teeth were really adding to his adorable factor. “I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

“I’m sure you’ll be better than me,” I told him. He didn’t want to be like me. I wanted to tell him not to wish away his youth. I remembered when things were easier. When I had no responsibilities. No heartache. No woman driving me to the brink of insanity. I smiled for a couple pictures with him and bit my tongue, not offering up my advice on not falling in love. The light in that kid’s eyes reminded me that I was a lucky son of bitch to get to have a career that I loved so much. I needed to stop thinking about what I didn’t have and be thankful for what I did.

The sudden gasp and wild cheering of the crowd told me the race was over. When I looked up I was just as surprised as the crowd by what I saw. Chayse McCade was taking a victory lap.

Had she really just beat him?

That was going to be a discussion for after the event. If Reid Travers had just got beaten by a rookie, I was never going to let him live it down. She’d earned it though. When she finally pulled her ass out of bed, she trained hard. Her riding was improving and whether or not she wanted to admit it, Hoyt was a big part of the reason. I was happy for the both of them. If they could get their shit together off the track that’d make it even better.

I pulled up to my starting point and waited for the crew to clear out. They knew how I wanted to the track to feel on the jump approach. We’d been over it a hundred times. We’d hard packed the dirt and made sure it was smooth.

My practice run felt good. I throttled and reached the exact amount of speed I needed, going alongside the ramp and circling back around. My bike was tight and loose in all the right places. My knee was strong and I felt solid as I signaled to the announcer that I was ready to go.