She knelt down, carefully placing it on the grass, and the others gathered around. Fair finally climbed off the roof to join in.
“Oh, Tavener. This is just about perfect.” Harry stood up and hugged him.
“A cat weather vane!” Mrs. Murphy thought this an excellent present.
The hunt horses, curious, watched from the paddock.
Gin Fizz said, “Don’t get the big head, pussycats.”
“You have your weather vane on the barn,” Pewter sang out. “We do just as much work in the barn as anyone.”
“Pewter, how can you lie like that and keep a straight face?” Tomahawk sounded stentorian.
The other horses laughed, including the broodmares who had come up from the adjoining paddock.
“What about me?” Tucker cocked her head. “I protect every animal on this farm.”
“You’re right.” Brinkley was very sympathetic.
Tavener, as if understanding, opened the passenger door to his truck and lifted out a three-by-three-foot hand-painted sign. Against a Charleston green background was Tucker’s head, a beautiful likeness. A thin red and gold pinstripe border was painted one inch from the edge of the sign. And underneath Tucker’s likeness, neatly lettered in Roman bold, was, DEATH FROM THE ANKLES DOWN!
Harry laughed so hard, Fair had to catch her under the armpits before she fell over.
“Wherever . . . ?” BoomBoom fell in love with the sign.
“Tree Street Signs over in Stuart’s Draft. Course, there’s Burruss in Charlottesville. Those are the two best, but I’ve grown fond of the group over in Stuart’s Draft. I couldn’t resist! Harry, you need to warn any newcomer of your security system.” He laughed heartily.
“We’ve got to get one for Herb for his anniversary.” Susan clapped her hands together. “How about his two cats with halos over their heads?”
“Susan, do you think all the parishioners will like that?” Tazio wondered.
“Oh, look, if you’re going to be a Lutheran you might as well have a sense of humor. Anyone who tries to understand centuries of dogma better get a grip,” Susan forthrightly replied.
Paul laughed and shrugged. “I’m Catholic.”
“And whatever Little Mim is at the moment, I am. We’re leaning toward refurbished Episcopalianism.” Blair admired the sign. “Harry, do you want this hanging as a sign by the back door, or do you want it on the side of the house by the back door?”
“Hanging.” She couldn’t get over how delightful these gifts were. She hugged Tavener again, giving him a big kiss on the cheek.
“Luckily, we’ve got a four-by-four left over. Bet I can build you a pretty signpost in no time,” Fair volunteered.
“How about a Coke or a beer or something?” Harry offered Tavener.
“Beer. You wouldn’t have any St. Pauli Girl in there, would you?”
Susan handed him one. “You know, you and I ought to buy stock in the brewery.”
“Good idea.” Tavener took a deep pull. “I came bearing gifts, but I came with a mission. Alicia and I have been talking.” Tavener paused for a moment. “Alicia and Big Mim have agreed. Oh, Herb has agreed. And Harry, finding the ring started all of this, really. Got me to thinking. What would Mary Pat have loved best? So many things crossed my mind, but you know, I hit on the right one. I hit on the thing that would have made her so proud. If all of us put in some money, whatever you can afford, we could create a scholarship in Mary Pat’s name to be awarded each year to a senior graduating from Holy Cross and going on to college. Mim says she knows how to set it up so our money will make money in the stock market. This way we only have to give once.” He held up his hand. “She swears she knows how to do this. But I want all of us who benefited from Mary Pat’s kindness to pitch in.”
“That’s all of Crozet.” Susan smiled. “Ned and I will certainly be part of it.”
The others agreed, even Paul and Tazio.
“But you all never knew her,” Harry said.
“We can give a little something,” Paul said. “A scholarship, that’s special.” He asked Tavener, “What would the student have to do?”
“Oh, not so much do but be. A leader. A good student, maybe not the best student but good. I was thinking maybe it would be a young person who was planning a career in the equine industry.”
“She’d love that,” Harry enthused.
Pewter had heard enough about all this. “Let’s put the weather vane on the shed.”
No one paid much mind.
“Sit on the weather vane,” Mrs. Murphy counseled.
Pewter, with much ceremony, plopped on the pretty metal cat.
Harry reached down and picked her up, making a large groaning noise that Pewter did not find amusing.
Fair lifted up the weather vane. “I’m going to put this right up.”
“Told you,” Mrs. Murphy bragged.
“Before you get back up on the ladder, Jerome been bugging you, too?” asked Tavener.
“I can’t turn around without bumping into him.” Fair laughed. “I could kill him.”
“Me, too, and not feel a twinge of guilt. He overstepped the line. He called the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, and in the process of asking for information about rabies, where had it shown up this spring and so forth, he apparently told them we have a human epidemic.”
“What?” Fair’s jaw dropped.
“Bill Langston called me and said his phone has been ringing off the hook.”
“What does it mean exactly?” Paul inquired. “That he called the Centers for Disease Control?”
“For one thing, the state veterinarian will be here tomorrow.” Tavener sighed. “A good man, but we’re all busy as can be and he’s going to want to see each of us. And for another thing, the head of Public Health will get his butt over from Richmond, and might I remind you this is an election year. He’ll chew out the county health officials, all of whom properly did their jobs. God only knows what will happen if some genius candidate gets hold of this. Remember years ago”—he directed this to Harry, Fair, Susan, and BoomBoom—“when old Richard Deavers went crackers? For you all”—he indicated Blair, Tazio, and Paul—“Richard Deavers had money, and when he lost his mind he decided that humans were abusing animals because they didn’t wear clothes. They were ashamed of their nakedness just like we were when expelled from the Garden of Eden. Anyway, to make a long story short, he must have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to get legislation passed that would force us to put clothes on cats, dogs, horses, cattle, and so on. Some people believed him. Some of them put a new twist on it: nakedness encouraged human immorality. My God, what a mess. We finally voted it down as a state—not local, mind you, but state—referendum. Well, we could be in for something that ridiculous if Jerome Stoltfus isn’t sat down hard.”
31
No!” Harry uttered the forbidden word through clenched teeth. “No, I won’t do it.”
Southerners are taught from infancy a variety of ways to decline without saying no outright. It’s considered bad manners to be so blunt. Furthermore, anyone who forces you into a true D no—a true D being a Southern expression that means the ultimate—is forever despised by you. They should know better. If they’re a Northerner, who prizes directness, they are doubly despised, first because they pushed you and second because they lack all subtlety and don’t appreciate same.
Miranda’s eyes about popped from her head. Her hand flew to her mouth.
“Now, Harry, you can understand that these are unusual circumstances.” Pug Harper’s voice remained genial.
Having heard the no, Pug, born and bred in Albemarle County, knew he had mortally offended one of his best people.