“I see myself a bit more through his eyes now,” she said. “I was just this girl who fell for this popular jock and didn’t know how to act or what to do with that. As it turns out, he didn’t really know how to act either. “
“It was like you lost a bit of yourself,” I said, going for honesty.
“I know I did. And I’ve repeated the same mistake the past three years,” she said. “Don’t get me wrong, sometimes a girl needs sex. But I went to ridiculous lengths not to get to know anyone. To not let anyone get close.”
Something else was on the tip of her tongue. I could hear it in her voice. Something she wasn’t telling me. Something she was ashamed of. But I wasn’t going to press her about it. I had plenty of things to be ashamed of.
“I’ve never let anyone get close, either,” I said. Nobody except you. “The difference for me is that nobody has ever given me a reason to let them in.”
“Ever?” She looked up at me through lowered eyelashes.
I hesitated. “Ev . . . ever. Does that make me sound so shallow?”
“No,” she said, suddenly throwing her arms around my chest in a hug. “It just makes you sound honest.”
My hand came up and curled around her shoulder. My face went to her neck, and I breathed her in.
“I’ve always loved talking to you, Kai,” she said, running her hands up and down my back. “Always.”
“Is that what we’re doing here?” My lips met her ear. “Just talking?”
“I . . . don’t know,” she said, letting out a long sigh. “I’m not sure I really want to examine this. Not right now.”
My fingers gripped her waist, and I felt her tremble in my arms. “Sounds cool to me.”
Her hands traveled across my shoulders to grasp my hair. “The truth is . . . I liked what we did the other night.”
“Yeah?” I said, my lips coming dangerously close to her mouth. “What did you like?”
“The way you”—she looked from my lips to my eyes—“helped me forget.”
“It’s a hard habit to break, huh?” I said, and she stiffened in my grasp. Shit. I didn’t want to break this spell we were under. I didn’t want her to question her decision to come to my room. Even if it was to erase Miles from her mind. “That’s not how I meant it. It’s okay. I want you here.”
She visibly relaxed as her fingers resumed grazing my biceps. I loved the feeling of her hands on me. I closed my eyes and savored the way her fingers traced over my arms, across my shoulders, and then down my chest.
When she hooked a finger into the loop of my nipple ring, my eyes flew open.
“What do these feel like?” she asked, her eyes innocently roving over my pecs. Then she tugged at the hoop, and I groaned.
“Obviously pretty damn good,” I said, trying to get a handle on my breathing. “Rachel, I’m warning you.”
“What do you mean?” she said, her gaze not so innocent any longer. “What’ll happen if I keep doing this?”
Before I could respond, she bent her head and encircled my nipple with her tongue.
My dick immediately sprang to action. “Fuck, Rachel.”
“Do you like that?” Her voice was coy and sexy as hell. Now her lips closed over my hardened nipple. She slid the the tip of her tongue through the ring and sucked. All the pleasure receptors in my brain immediately went on high alert.
I grasped the back of her head as she moved to the other side, her mouth like a suction cup.
“Two can play this game.” Without any warning, I tugged her mouth up to mine and drove my tongue past her lips, deep and forceful. She grabbed my shoulders and whimpered against me.
If I couldn’t bury myself inside her tonight, I’d fuck her with my tongue instead.
Chapter Seventeen Kai
She tasted like the salt and butter from our popcorn earlier in the night, and I wanted to feast on her tongue and skin. I angled her head to gain better access to her mouth and then licked and nibbled her lips.
She dragged her fingers up my arms to my neck, and I could feel the pressure of her nails digging in. Her tongue and mouth were just as hungry and the noises coming from her throat were arousing the hell out of me. We were devouring each other and barely coming up for air.
Extracting my fingers from her hair, I grazed the bare patch of her back between her shorts and tank. Her skin was soft and smooth, and I wanted to nibble it with my teeth, soothe it with my tongue. I wanted to brand her and make her mine.
The palm of my hand slid to her stomach and inched up her torso to the area between her breasts. I could feel her heart crashing against my fingertips as she panted from the contact.
My lips skimmed her jaw and then down her neck to her collarbone. I kissed the skin above the scoop of her tank before closing my lips around one of her nipples and sucking it straight through the fabric.
“Oh God . . . Kai.” Her nails dug into my shoulders, and my dick strained against my zipper. I wanted to strip off her top and finally lay my eyes on her tits. I’d fantasized about that exact moment too many times to count.
I thumbed the ends of her shirt. “Take this off. Now.”
She only hesitated a split second before sitting up and lifting her top over her head. I kept my eyes pinned to hers before finally allowing my gaze to slide down to her nearly-bare chest. She wore a black lacy bra that was a contrast to her creamy, pale skin. The smooth flesh on her stomach was sexy, and I could see the edges of her hipbones jutting above her cotton pajama shorts.
I took my time drinking her in, and I saw her shiver beneath my scrutiny. She was so turned on her nipples looked like hard pebbles through the ebony material. And all my brain could muster was that I was the one responsible for that desire in her eyes, as the blood rushed straight to my crotch. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever been harder than in that moment—when the girl I ached for was finally noticing me in the same way.
And I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in her like she wanted to get lost in me. But some logical part of my brain knew that we shouldn’t take it to the next level. That she might regret it if we did. And besides, if I was going to bury myself inside Rachel, the girl of my fucking dreams, I wanted it to be under different circumstances.
I wanted to see something beyond lust in her eyes. I wanted her to really see me for who I was. I needed her to want every single piece of me, beyond the physical. But I’d take every encounter as it came, knowing each one might be the last.
I sat up and hooked my fingers beneath the satin strap of her bra, tugging it down partway. “Take it off, Rachel.”
I knew she liked when I was bossy, when I took action. I could see it in her eyes—there was a flicker of desire there every time I gave a command. It was definitely one of the areas I excelled in. Taking control in the bedroom. It was probably what made girls come back for more. It was one of the few things I was good at.
But I wanted to excel at more than just the art of seduction.
Besides, I liked it when girls took charge in the bedroom, too. And given the stark difference between the Rachel I knew with Miles and the one I’d heard she’d become during the past three years, I wondered which Rachel would show up tonight.
Rachel’s eyes stayed on mine, both of us breathing heavily as the anticipation coiled around us, shrouding us like a thick blanket.
“You want this off?” she asked, teasing me by placing her hands over the cups of her bra.
I gave a curt nod.
One seductive eyebrow lifted before she leaned forward and whispered, “Then take it off yourself.”
There was the Rachel that I’d missed. Fuck me, I’d be taking a cold shower tonight. My fingers curled around her wrists and I tugged her hands away from her breasts. I yanked them down to her sides as her fists clenched tight.