You’re five years old. And this is how it starts.
CHAPTER 5
EVERYTHING SEEMED TO slow down as the knife came towards me. I grabbed for it, but I was always going to be too late. The blade slid through my grip, slicing my palm and fingers to the bone. I could feel the hot wetness of blood smearing my hand as my legs gave way under me. It pooled on the black and white floor tiles as I slid down the wall, soaking the front of my shirt.
I looked down and saw the knife handle protruding obscenely from my stomach and opened my mouth to scream…
‘No!’
I bolted upright, gasping. I could feel the blood on me, hot and wet. I thrashed off the sheets, frantically trying to see my stomach in the dim moonlight. But the skin was unmarked. There was no knife, no blood. Just a sheen of clammy sweat, and the angry welt of the scar just under my ribs.
Christ. I sagged with relief, recognizing my hotel room, seeing I was alone in it.
Just a dream.
My heart rate was starting to return to normal, my pulse ebbing in my ears. I swung my legs off the edge of the bed and shakily sat up. The clock on the bedside cabinet said five thirty. The alarm was set for an hour’s time, but it wasn’t worth trying to sleep again, even if I’d wanted to.
I got up stiffly and switched on the light. I was beginning to regret agreeing to help Tom with the examination of the body from the cabin. A shower and breakfast. Things will look better then.
I spent fifteen minutes running through exercises to strengthen my abdominal muscles, then went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I turned my face up to the hot spray, letting the needles of water sluice away the lingering effects of the dream.
By the time I emerged, the last vestiges of sleep had been washed away. There was a coffeemaker in the room, so I set it going as I dressed and powered up my laptop. It would be late morning in the UK, and I sipped black coffee while I checked my emails. There was nothing urgent; I replied to the ones I needed to and left the rest for later.
The restaurant downstairs had opened for breakfast, but I was the only customer. I passed on the waffles and pancakes and opted for toast and scrambled eggs. I’d been hungry when I went in, but even that seemed too much for me, and I managed less than half. My stomach was knotted, though I didn’t know why it should be. I’d only be helping Tom with something I’d done myself countless times before, and in far worse circumstances than this.
But telling myself that didn’t make any difference.
By the time I went outside the sun was coming up. Although the car park was still in shadow, the deep blue of the sky was paling, shot through with dazzling gold on the horizon.
The hire car was a Ford, the subtle differences in style and automatic transmission a further reminder that I was in another country. Although it was still early, the roads were already busy. It was a beautiful morning. Built-up as Knoxville was, this part of East Tennessee was still lush and verdant. The spring sun hadn’t yet developed the shirt-sticking heat and humidity of high summer, and at this time of day the air held an early morning freshness, unsullied by traffic fumes.
It was an easy twenty-minute drive to UT Medical Center. The morgue was located in a different part of the campus from the facility, but I knew my way there from previous trips.
The man on the morgue reception was so huge he made the desk look like a child’s toy. He was quilted with so much flesh that he seemed virtually boneless, the strap of his watch digging into the dimpled wrist like cheese wire into dough. His breath came in a faintly adenoidal wheeze as I explained who I was.
‘Autopsy suite five. Through the door and down the corridor.’ His voice was incongruously high-pitched for such a big frame. He gave a cherubic smile as he handed me an electronic pass card. ‘Cain’t miss it.’
I swiped the card on the door and went into the morgue itself. The familiar olfactory punch of formaldehyde, bleach and disinfectant greeted me. Tom was already in the tiled autopsy suite, dressed in surgical scrubs and a rubber apron. A portable CD player stood on a bench nearby, quietly playing a rhythmic drum track I didn’t recognize. Another, similarly dressed man was with him, hosing down the body that lay on the aluminium table to sluice off the insects and blowfly larvae.
‘Morning,’ Tom said brightly as the door swung shut behind me.
I tipped my head towards the CD player. ‘Buddy Rich?’
‘Not even close. Louie Belson.’ Tom straightened from the dripping wet chest cavity. ‘You’re early.’
‘Not as early as you.’
‘I wanted to get the body X-rayed and send the dental plates over to the TBL.’ He gestured to the younger man who was still hosing down the body. ‘David, this is Kyle, one of the morgue assistants. I’ve had him helping out till you got here, but don’t tell Hicks.’
Morgue assistants were employed by the Medical Examiner’s office, which meant that Hicks was technically Kyle’s boss. I’d forgotten that the pathologist was based here, and I didn’t envy anyone working for him. Not that it seemed to bother Kyle. He was tall, with a heavy-boned build that was just on the right side of plump. His pleasant moon face beamed from under an untidy mop of hair.
‘Hi,’ he said, raising a gloved hand.
‘One of my students is going to be lending a hand, as well,’ Tom went on. ‘It doesn’t really need three of us, but I promised I’d let her help out on my next examination.’
‘If you don’t need me here…’
‘There’s going to be plenty to do. It just means we’ll finish sooner.’ Tom’s smile said I wasn’t getting away that easily. ‘Scrubs and the rest are in the locker room down the corridor.’
I had the changing room to myself. Putting my own clothes in a locker, I pulled on surgical scrubs and a rubber apron. What we were about to do was perhaps the grimmest part of our work, and certainly one of the messiest. DNA tests could take up to eight weeks, and fingerprints only provided an identity match if the victim’s were already on record. But even with badly decomposed bodies such as this, the victim’s identity and sometimes also the cause of death could be gleaned from the skeleton itself. Before that could be done, though, every last trace of soft tissue had to be removed.
It wasn’t a pleasant job.
When I went back to the autopsy suite I paused outside. I could hear Tom humming along to the jazz over the sound of running water. What if you make another mistake? What if you can’t do this any more?
But I couldn’t afford to think like that. I opened the door and went in. Kyle had finished hosing down the body. Dripping water, the dead man’s remains glistened as though they had been varnished.
Tom was at a trolley of surgical instruments. He picked up a pair of tissue scissors and pulled the bright overhead light closer as I went over.
‘OK, let’s make a start.’
The first dead body I saw was when I was a student. It was a young woman, no more than twenty-five or six, who had been killed in a house fire. She’d asphyxiated from the smoke, but her body was untouched by the flames. She was lying on a cold table under the mortuary’s harsh, revealing light. Her eyes were partly open, slits of dull white showing between the lids, and the tip of her tongue was protruding ever so slightly from between bloodless lips. What struck me was how still she looked. As frozen and motionless as a photograph. Everything she’d done, everything she’d been and hoped to be, had come to an end. Forever.
The realization hit me with physical force. I knew then that no matter what I did, how much I learned, there would always be one mystery I couldn’t explain. But in the years that followed that only increased my determination to solve the more tangible puzzles that lay within my scope.