And bewilderment. Of all the people in the world to die, why Sarah?
She made a feeble attempt at unpacking. Then, forcing herself to stay busy, she surveyed the refrigerator and saw that her shelves were practically empty. It was all the excuse she needed to flee her apartment. She pulled a sweater over her jeans and, with a sense of escape, walked the four blocks to the neighborhood grocery store. She bought only the essentials, bread and eggs and fruit. Enough to tide her over for a few days, until she was back on her feet and could think clearly about any sort of menu.
Carrying a sack of groceries in each arm, she walked through the gathering darkness back to her apartment building. The night was chilly, and she regretted not wearing a coat. Through an open window, a woman called, "Time for dinner!" and two children playing kickball in the street turned and scampered for home.
By the time Cathy reached her building, she was shivering and her arms were aching from the weight of the groceries. She trudged up the steps and, balancing one sack on her hip, managed to pull out her keys and unlock the security door. Just as she swung through, she heard footsteps, then glimpsed a blur of movement rushing toward her from the side. She was swept through the doorway, into the building. A grocery bag tumbled from her arms, spilling apples across the floor. She stumbled forward, catching herself on the wood banister. The door slammed shut behind her.
She spun around, ready to fight off her attacker.
It was Victor Holland.
"You!" she whispered in amazement.
He didn't seem so sure of her identity. He was frantically searching her face, as though trying to confirm he had the right woman. "Cathy Weaver?"
"What do you think you're—"
"Where's your apartment?" he cut in.
"What?"
"We can't stand around out here."
"It's — it's upstairs—"
"Let's go." He reached for her arm but she pulled away.
"My groceries," she said, glancing down at the scattered apples.
He quickly scooped up the fruit, tossed it in one of the bags, and nudged her toward the stairs. "We don't have a lot of time."
Cathy allowed herself to be herded up the stairs and halfway down the hall before she stopped dead in her tracks. "Wait a minute. You tell me what this is all about, Mr. Holland, and you tell me right now or I don't move another step!"
"Give me your keys."
"You can't just—"
''Give me your keys!''
She stared at him, shocked by the command. Suddenly she realized that what she saw in his eyes was panic. They were the eyes of a hunted man.
Automatically she handed him her keys.
"Wait here," he said. "Let me check the apartment first."
She watched in bewilderment as he unlocked her door and cautiously eased his way inside. For a few moments she heard nothing. She pictured him moving through the flat, tried to estimate how many seconds each room would require for inspection. It was a small flat, so why was he taking so long?
Slowly she moved toward the doorway. Just as she reached it, his head popped out. She let out a little squeak of surprise. He barely caught the bag of groceries as it slipped from her grasp.
"It's okay," he said. "Come on inside."
The instant she stepped over the threshold, he had the door locked and bolted behind her. Then he quickly circled the living room, closing the drapes, locking windows.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" she asked, following him around the room.
"We're in trouble."
"You mean you're in trouble."
"No. I mean we. Both of us." He turned to her, his gaze clear and steady. "Do you have the film?"
"What are you talking about?" she asked, utterly confused by the sudden shift of conversation.
"A roll of film. Thirty-five millimeter. In a black plastic container. Do you have it?"
She didn't answer. But an image from that last night with Sarah had already taken shape in her mind: a roll of film on the kitchen counter. Film she'd thought belonged to her friend Hickey. Film she'd slipped into her bathrobe pocket and later into her purse. But she wasn't about to reveal any of this, not until she found out why he wanted it. The gaze she returned to him was purposefully blank and unrevealing.
Frustrated, he forced himself to take a deep breath, and started over. "That night you found me — on the highway— I had it in my pocket. It wasn't with me when I woke up in the hospital. I might have dropped it in your car."
"Why do you want this roll of film?"
"I need it. As evidence—"
"For what?"
"It would take too long to explain."
She shrugged. "I've got nothing better to do at the moment—"
"Damn it!" He stalked over to her. Taking her by the shoulders, he forced her to look at him. "Don't you understand? That's why your friend was killed! The night they broke into your car, they were looking for that film!"
She stared at him, a look of sudden comprehension and horror. "Sarah…"
"Was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The killer must have thought she was you."
Cathy felt trapped by his unrelenting gaze. And by the inescapable threat of his revelation. Her knees wobbled, gave way. She sank into the nearest chair and sat there in numb silence.
"You have to get out of here," he said. "Before they find you. Before they figure out you're the Cathy Weaver they're looking for."
She didn't move. She couldn't move.
"Come on, Cathy. There isn't much time!"
"What was on that roll of film?" she asked softly.
"I told you. Evidence. Against a company called Viratek."
She frowned. "Isn't — isn't that the company you work for?"
"Used to work for."
"What did they do?"
"They're involved in some sort of illegal research project. I can't tell you the particulars."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know them. I'm not the one who gathered the evidence. A colleague — a friend — passed it to me, just before he was killed."
"What do you mean by killed?"
"The police called it an accident. I think otherwise."
"You're saying he was murdered over a research project?" She shook her head. "Must have been dangerous stuff he was working on."
"I know this much. It involves biological weapons. Which makes the research illegal. And incredibly dangerous."
"Weapons? For what government?"
"Ours."
"I don't understand. If this is a federal project, that makes it all legal, right?"
"Not by a long shot People in high places have been known to break the rules."
"How high are we talking about?"
"I don't know. I can't be sure of anyone. Not the police, not the Justice Department. Not the FBI"
Her eyes narrowed. The words she was hearing sounded like paranoid ravings. But the voice — and the eyes — were perfectly sane. They were sea-green, those eyes. They held an honesty, a steadiness that should have been all the assurance she needed.
It wasn't. Not by a long shot
Quietly she said, "So you're telling me the FBI is after you. Is that correct?"
Sudden anger flared in his eyes, then just as quickly, it was gone. Groaning, he sank onto the couch and ran his hands through his hair. "I don't blame you for thinking I'm nuts. Sometimes I wonder if I'm all there. I thought if I could trust anyone, it'd be you…."
"Why me?"
He looked at her. "Because you're the one who saved my life. You're the one they'll try to kill next."
She froze. No, no, this was insane. Now he was pulling her into his delusion, making her believe in his nightmare world of murder and conspiracy. She wouldn't let him! She stood up and started to walk away, but his voice made her stop again.