Whit

'Do you deny any of it?' Salvador asked coldly.

'All of it!' Allan yelled, spinning round to glare at me.

I looked slowly at Morag, who was standing at my side.  She was frowning at Allan, her arms folded.  Allan looked from Morag's face to mine and then back.  He blinked rapidly.

'Perhaps, Grandfather,' I said, 'you'd like to ask my brother for the key to his desk in the office.  It was on the chain round his neck, last time I saw it.'

'Well, Allan?' Grandfather said.

Allan turned round to face our Grandfather again. 'Look,' he said, and took a deep breath.  He gave a small, nervous laugh. 'Look, all right; I have got the phone.  Yes, I mean, big deal.  Big fucking deal.  I've used it for everybody's good.  Everybody's.  Plus, it's there for emergencies… And yes, all right, there might have been some crossed lines with the letters from Morag, but Grandad-'

I found myself striding down the room to him.

He must have heard me coming; he turned round and my forearms thudded into his chest as I gathered two balls of material from his robes into my fists; my momentum carried him two tottering steps backwards until his shoulders thumped into the library door, just to the side of where Grandfather sat.  I glared up into Allan's face; his eyes were wide, his breath rushed out of his open mouth and struck my face.

I pressed into him, my whole body quivering with rage.

'Listen, Brother,' I hissed, grasping his robes tighter and shaking him. 'I don't think you've really understood the situation.  I know what you've been doing, I know what your plans were and now so does Grandfather.  Everything I'm doing now and everything I'm saying now has Grandfather's authority.  Everything.  Is that right, Grandfather?' I said, without looking at him.

I watched Allan's eyes tear their gaze away from mine to look imploringly down and to the side.

Quietly, our Grandfather said, 'Yes, that's right, Isis.'

Allan's gaze swung back to me.  I could see sweat on his top lip now.  His eyes looked very big.

'Is it starting to register now, big brother?' I asked. 'It's every damn thing I say or nothing; there's no negotiations, no talks, no compromises, no deals.  You just do exactly as I say, exactly as Grandfather says, or you're out!' I pushed him back against the door, banging his head off the wood. 'Understand?' I shook him again.  I think I was trying to lift him off his feet but he was too heavy for me.  It was only my anger and his surprise that was letting me pin him here at all.

He stared into my eyes.  He looked pale.  His breath smelled of mint.  He swallowed.  I felt him bring his hands up to mine, trying to free his robes from my grip. 'Hey, Is,' he said, his voice small and shaky. 'Come on; you're taking this kind of hard, aren't you?  I mean-'

'You piece of shit!' I said, the rage shining like a white star inside me. 'You tried to destroy my life here; you want to pervert everything this Community's stood for and you've lied to every single one of us, all for your own slimy ends and you think I'm going to take it as a joke?'

I let go with one hand, but just to pull down on his robes with the other fist so that my free hand could grip the chain with the key on it.  I pulled the chain off; he yelped as it parted somewhere behind his head.  I stepped back and he stood there, rubbing his neck and glaring at me.  Muscles quivered at the hinges of his jaw beneath his ears.

'Well here's the joke, Allan,' I said, feeling a tingling in my eyes and hearing a high keening noise in my ears.  I weighed the key and its chain in my fist. 'Either you confess, in public, now, to everything, or you're out, brother.  Forever, with nothing.  Because if you don't tell everybody everything, we - Grandfather and I - will.  We'll take your phone and we'll have the office searched, your rooms searched, we'll have the whole damn place searched, plus we'll be there at the bank in Stirling first thing tomorrow, just in case you were thinking of making off with any funds, you know?  I think all that kind of makes your position… what's the word?  Untenable.  That's the sort of corporate-speak you understand, isn't it, brother?'

Allan put shaking hands to his chest and smoothed his robes back down.  He looked again at Salvador, who was sitting with his hands on his knees, his head down.

'Grandfather?' Allan said, and sounded like he might be about to cry. 'What about the new revelations for the Orthography? The ones we were going to reveal-'

'Down the drain, brother,' I told him. 'Like the rest of your plans.'

He ignored me. 'Grandfather?' he said again. 'She's gone crazy,' he said with another nervous laugh. 'You aren't going to let-'

'Oh for God's sake, boy!' Grandfather bellowed, not looking up.  Still his voice filled the room.  Even I jumped.  The effect on Allan was more dramatic; he staggered and shivered as if run through.

Grandfather looked slowly up and round at my brother. 'Just do,' he said, 'what she says.' He shook his head briefly. 'Don't protract this,' he muttered.  He looked down again.

Allan stared down at our Grandfather, then looked back up to me.  His eyes were staring, his face white.  His mouth worked for a moment before any noise came out.

'And what,' he said hoarsely, then stopped to swallow a couple of times. 'And what would you leave me with, if I… if I did agree to… to this ridiculous confession?'

I breathed deeply, in and out.  I looked at Grandfather for a moment.  So.

'You can have most of what you have at the moment, Allan,' I told him. 'Well, most of what we all thought you had.  I think a penitential pilgrimage to Luskentyre might be in order, but when you come back you can have control of the day-to-day administration of the farm, as you've had before.  Of course, from now on I'd want full access at any time I want it to all the books and accounts.  To everything, in fact.  Most importantly, I'll want to sign all the cheques and authorise any expenditure.'

'But that's more than Grandfather does!' Allan protested.

'I know, Allan,' I said. 'But it's what I want.' I paused. 'While you look after the farm, I shall be taking over the day-to-day running of the Community and the Order; Grandfather's position will not change in that he remains our Founder and our OverSeer.  Equally, there will be no need for him to be troubled by all the details you've been looking after until now.  I'll supervise that aspect of our affairs.  And I think we'll have to make it clear to everybody in the Community that they're accountable to the Founder and to me.' I shrugged. 'And perhaps to a more formal structure, like an elected board or committee.  We'll have to think about that.  I'll be asking everyone for suggestions.  You'll be welcome to contribute, after you return from your pilgrimage.'

Allan looked almost comical now.  He opened and closed his mouth and blinked, trying to take all this in.  He gave one last despairing glance down at our Grandfather. 'Grandad?' he said, voice faltering.

Grandfather continued to look at the floor. 'Whatever Beloved Isis wishes,' he said quietly.

Allan stared at the older man.

I turned towards the windows.  Ricky looked bored.  Morag still had her arms crossed.  She was frowning, but gave me a small smile.  Sophi looked half terrified but then, when I winked at her, broke into a relieved if nervous smile.  I turned back.

Allan brought his arms up from his sides until they were straight out and level, his face still white, his eyes still huge.  His voice seemed to come from somewhere a long way away. 'Whatever you say,' he breathed.