“When I was in Andelain, I met some of my old friends the people who had faith in me, took care of me, loved me long before I could do any of those things for myself. Mhoram reminded me of a few lessons I should've already learned. Foamfollower gave me Vain. Banner promised his people would serve me. And Elena,” Elena his daughter, who had loved him in the same unbalanced way that she had hated Lord Foul, “told me what I'd have to do in the end. She said, 'When the time is upon you, and you must confront the Despiser, he is to be found in Mount Thunder-in Kiril Threndor, where he has taken up his abode.' ” He swallowed thickly. “That's where I'm going. One way or another, I'm going to put an end to it.”
Though he spoke quietly, his words seemed to ring and echo in the high hall The First gave a nod of grim, eager approval.
She started to ask him where Mount Thunder was, then stopped. Durris had taken a step forward. He faced Covenant with an unwonted intensity gleaming from his flat eyes.
“Ur-Lord, we will accompany you.”
Covenant did not hesitate. In a voice as unshakable as the Haruchai’s, he said, “No, you won't.”
Durris lifted an eyebrow, but permitted himself no other sign of surprise. For an instant, his attention shifted as he conferred silently with his people. Then he said, “It is as you have claimed. A promise of service was given to you by Banner of the Bloodguard among the Dead. And that service you have earned in our redemption from the compulsion and sacrifice of the Clave. Ur-Lord, we will accompany you to the last.”
Pain twisted Covenant's mouth. But he did not waver. His hands were closed into fists, pressed against his thighs. “I said, no.”
Again, Durris paused. The air was tight with suspense; issues Linden did not know how to estimate had come to a crisis. She did not truly comprehend Covenant's intent. The First moved as though she wanted to interpose some appeal or protest. But the Haruchai did not need her to speak for them. Durris leaned slightly closer to Covenant, and his look took on a hint of urgency. His people knew better than anyone else what was at stake.
“Thomas Covenant, bethink you.” Obliquely, Linden wondered why it was Durris who spoke and not Cail. “The Haruchai are known to you. The tale of the Bloodguard is known to you. You have witnessed that proud, deathless Vow-and you have beheld its ending. Do not believe that we forget. In all the ages of that service, it was the grief of the Bloodguard that they gave no direct battle to Corruption. And yet when the chance came to Banner when he stood at your side upon Landsdrop with Saltheart Foamfollower and knew your purpose-he turned aside from it. You had need of him, and he turned aside.
“We do not judge him. The Vow was broken. But I say to you that we have tasted failure, and it is not to our liking. We must restore our faith. We will not turn aside again.”
Shifting still closer to Covenant, he went on as if he wanted no one else to hear him, “Ur-Lord, has it become with you as it was with Kevin Landwaster? Is it your intent to be parted from those who would prevent you from the Ritual of Desecration?”
At that. Linden expected Covenant to flare out. She wanted to protest herself, deny hotly Durris' unwarranted accusation. But Covenant did not raise his voice. Instead, he lifted his half-hand between himself and Durris, turned it palm outward, spread his fingers. His ring clung like a manacle to what had once been his middle finger.
“You remember,” he said, allowing himself neither sarcasm nor bitterness. “Have you forgotten why the Vow was broken?
“I'll tell you why. Three Bloodguard got their hands on a piece of the Illearth Stone, and they thought that made them powerful enough to do what they always wanted. So they went to Foul's Creche, challenged Corruption. But they were wrong. No flesh and blood is immune. Foul mastered them the same way he mastered Kevin when Elena broke the Law of Death He maimed them to look like me-like this”- he waved his half-hand stiffly “and sent them back to Revelstone to mock the Bloodguard.”
An outcry rose in him; but he held it down. “Are you surprised the Vow was broken? I thought it was going to break their hearts.
“Banner didn't turn aside. He gave me exactly what I needed. He showed me it was still possible to go on living.” He paused to steady himself; and now Linden felt the meld of his certainty and power growing, felt him become palpably stronger.
“The fact is,” he said without accusation, “you've been wrong all along. You've misunderstood your own doubt from the beginning. What it means. Why it matters. First Kevin, then the other Lords, then me-ever since your people first came to the Land, you've been swearing yourselves in service to ordinary men and women who simply can't be worthy of what you offer. Kevin was a good man who broke down when the pressure got to be worse than he could stand-and the Bloodguard were never able to forgive him because they pinned their faith on him and when he failed they thought it was their fault for not making him worthy, not preventing him from being human. Over and over again, you put yourselves in the position of serving someone who has to fail Those Who Part you for the mere reason that he's human and all humans fail at one time or another-and then you can't forgive him because his failure casts doubt on your service. And you can't forgive yourselves either. You want to serve perfectly, and that means you're responsible for everything. And whenever something comes along to remind you you're mortal-like the merewives- that's unforgivable too, and you decide you aren't worthy to go on serving. Or else you want to do something crazy, like fighting Foul in person.”
Slowly, he lowered his hand; but the gaze he fixed on Durris did not falter, and his clarify burned from his eyes. “You can do better than that. Nobody questions your worth. You've demonstrated it a thousand times. And if that's not enough for you, remember Brinn faced the Guardian of the One Tree and won. Ak-Haru Kenaustin Ardenol. Any one of you would've done the same in his place. You don't need to serve me anymore.
“And,” he added carefully, “I don't need you. Not in the way you think. I don't want you to come with me.”
Durris did not retreat. But Linden sensed that he wished to draw back, that Covenant's certain strength abashed him. He seemed unable to deny the image Covenant painted-and unwilling to accept its implications.
“Ur-Lord, what would you have us do?” he asked as if he felt no distress. “You have given our lives to us. We must make recompense. That is necessary. In spite of its inflexibility, his voice put the weight of Haruchai history into the word, necessary. The extravagance and loyalty of his people required an outlet. “The Vow of the Bloodguard was sworn to meet the bounty and grandeur of High Lord Kevin and Revelstone. It was not regretted. Do you ask such an oath from us again, that we may preserve the meaning of our lives?”
“No.” Covenant's eyes softened and blurred, and he put his hand on Durris' shoulder as if he wanted to hug the Haruchai. Linden felt pouring from him the ache of his appreciation. Bloodguard and Haruchai had given themselves to him without question; and he had never believed that he deserved them. “There's something else I want you to do.”
At that, Durris' stance sharpened. He stood before the Unbeliever like a salute.
“I want you to stay here. In Revelstone. With as many of your people as you can get. For two reasons. To take care of the wounded. The Land's going to need them. It's going to need every man or woman who can possibly be persuaded to face the future. And to protect the city. This is Revelstone, Lord's Keep. It belongs to the Land-not to Corruption or Ravers. I want it safe. So the future will have a place to centre. A place where people can come to learn about the past-and see what the Land means-and make plans. A place of defence. A place of hope. You've already given me everything Banner promised and more. But I want you to do this, too. For me. And for yourselves. Here you can serve something that isn't going to fail you.”