‘I mean, I just think men have caused enough chaos this century. There’s enough fucking men in the world. If I knew I was going to have a boy’ – she pauses to prepare her two falsely conscious friends for this new concept – ‘I’d have to seriously consider abortion.’
Alsana screams, claps her hands over one of her own ears and one of Clara’s, and then almost chokes on a piece of aubergine. For some reason the remark simultaneously strikes Clara as funny; hysterically, desperately funny; miserably funny; and the Niece-of-Shame sits between the two, nonplussed, while the two egg-shaped women bend over themselves, one in laughter, the other in horror and asphyxiation.
‘Are you all right, ladies?’
It is Sol Jozefowicz, the old guy who back then took it upon himself to police the park (though his job as park keeper had long since been swept away in council cuts), Sol Jozefowicz stands in front of them, ready as always to be of aid.
‘We are all going to burn in hell, Mr Jozefowicz, if you call that being all right,’ explains Alsana, pulling herself together.
Niece-of-Shame rolls her eyes. ‘Speak for yourself.’
But Alsana is faster than any sniper when it comes to firing back. ‘I do, I do – thankfully Allah has arranged it that way.’
‘Good afternoon, Neena, good afternoon, Mrs Jones,’ says Sol, offering a neat bow to each. ‘Are you sure you are all right? Mrs Jones?’
Clara cannot stop the tears from squeezing out of the corners of her eyes. She cannot work out, at this moment, whether it is crying or laughing.
‘I’m fine… fine, sorry to have worried you, Mr Jozefowicz… really, I’m fine.’
‘I do not see what’s so very funny-funny,’ mutters Alsana. ‘The murder of innocents – is this funny?’
‘Not in my experience, Mrs Iqbal, no,’ says Sol Jozefowicz, in the collected manner in which he said everything, passing his handkerchief to Clara. It strikes all three women – the way history will, embarrassingly, without warning, like a blush – what the ex-park keeper’s experience might have been. They fall silent.
‘Well, as long as you ladies are fine, I’ll be getting on,’ says Sol, motioning that Clara can keep the handkerchief and replacing the hat he had removed in the old fashion. He bows his neat little bow once more, and sets off slowly, anti-clockwise round the park.
Once Sol is out of earshot: ‘OK, Auntie Alsi, I apologize, I apologize… For fuck’s sake, what more do you want?’
‘Oh, every-bloody-thing,’ says Alsana, her voice losing the fight, becoming vulnerable. ‘The whole bloody universe made clear – in a little nutshell. I cannot understand a thing any more, and I am just beginning. You understand?’
She sighs, not waiting for an answer, not looking at Neena, but across the way at the hunched, disappearing figure of Sol winding in and out of the yew trees. ‘You may be right about Samad… about many things. Maybe there are no good men, not even the two I might have in this belly… and maybe I do not talk enough with mine, maybe I have married a stranger. You might see the truth better than I. What do I know… barefoot country girl… never went to the universities.’
‘Oh, Alsi,’ Neena is saying, weaving in and out of Alsana’s words like tapestry; feeling bad. ‘You know I didn’t mean it like that.’
‘But I cannot be worrying-worrying all the time about the truth. I have to worry about the truth that can be lived with. And that is the difference between losing your marbles drinking the salty sea, or swallowing the stuff from the streams. My Niece-of-Shame believes in the talking cure, eh?’ says Alsana, with something of a grin. ‘Talk, talk, talk and it will be better. Be honest, slice open your heart and spread the red stuff around. But the past is made of more than words, dearie. We married old men, you see? These bumps’ – Alsana pats them both – ‘they will always have daddy-long-legs for fathers. One leg in the present, one in the past. No talking will change this. Their roots will always be tangled. And roots get dug up. Just look in my garden – birds at the coriander every bloody day…’
Just as he reaches the far gate, Sol Jozefowicz turns round to wave, and three women wave back. Clara feels a little theatrical, flying his cream handkerchief above her head. Like she is seeing someone off for a train journey crossing the border of two countries.
‘How did they meet?’ asks Neena, trying to lift the cloud that has somehow descended on their picnic. ‘I mean Mr Jones and Samad Miah.’
Alsana throws her head back, a dismissive gesture. ‘Oh, in the war. Off killing some poor bastards who didn’t deserve it, no doubt. And what did they get for their trouble? A broken hand for Samad Miah and for the other one a funny leg. Some use, some use, all this.’
‘Archie’s right leg,’ says Clara quietly, pointing to a place in her own thigh. ‘A piece of metal, I tink. But he don’ really tell me nuttin’.’
‘Oh, who cares!’ Alsana bursts out. ‘I’d trust Vishnu the many-handed pick-pocket before I believed a word those men say.’
But Clara holds dear the image of the young soldier Archie, particularly when the old, flabby Direct Mail Archie is on top of her. ‘Oh, come now… we don’ know what-’
Alsana spits quite frankly on the grass. ‘Shitty lies! If they are heroes, where are their hero things? Where are the hero bits and bobs? Heroes – they have things. They have hero stuff. You can spot them ten miles away. I’ve never seen a medal… and not so much as a photograph.’ Alsana makes an unpleasant noise at the back of her throat, her signal for disbelief. ‘So look at it – no, dearie, it must be done – look at it close up. Look at what is left. Samad has one hand; says he wants to find God but the fact is God’s given him the slip; and he has been in that curry house for two years already, serving up stringy goat to the whiteys who don’t know any better, and Archibald – well, look at the thing close up…’
Alsana stops to check with Clara if she could speak her mind further without causing offence or unnecessary pain, but Clara’s eyes are closed and she is already looking at the thing close up; a young girl looking at an old man close up; finishing Alsana’s sentence with the beginning of a smile spreading across her face,
‘… folds paper for a living, dear Jesus.’
5 The Root Canals of Alfred Archibald Jones and Samad Miah Iqbal
A propos: it’s all very well, this instruction of Alsana’s to look at the thing close up; to look at it dead-straight between the eyes; an unflinching and honest stare, a meticulous inspection that would go beyond the heart of the matter to its marrow, beyond the marrow to the root – but the question is how far back do you want? How far will do? The old American question: what do you want – blood? Most probably more than blood is required: whispered asides; lost conversations; medals and photographs; lists and certificates, yellowing paper bearing the faint imprint of brown dates. Back, back, back. Well, all right, then. Back to Archie spit-clean, pink-faced and polished, looking just old enough at seventeen to fool the men from the medical board with their pencils and their measuring tape. Back to Samad, two years older and the warm colour of baked bread. Back to the day when they were first assigned to each other, Samad Miah Iqbal (row 2, Over here now, soldier!) and Alfred Archibald Jones (Move it, move it, move it), the day Archie involuntarily forgot that most fundamental principle of English manners. He stared. They were standing side by side on a stretch of black dirt-track Russian ground, dressed identically in little triangular caps perched on their heads like paper sailing-boats, wearing the same itchy standard uniform, their ice-pinched toes resting in the same black boots scattered with the same dust. But Archie couldn’t help but stare. And Samad put up with it, waited and waited for it to pass, until after a week of being cramped in their tank, hot and suffocated by the airless machine and subjected to Archie’s relentless gaze, he had putted-up-with as much as his hot-head ever could put up with anything.