Leyner: Sir, reporting for duty, sir!
Gberg: You ready for a little work, son?
Leyner: Sir, permission to discharge my weapon into the sky, sir?
Gberg: Just don’t hit the keyboard.
Leyner: What should we do today?
3:35P.M.
Leyner: I have an idea…
Gberg: We have several things to do. Finish the preface, which we need to do together. Then we have 2 more intros.
Gberg: Or else we can add some funniness to some questions.
Gberg: You had an idea?
Leyner: Let’s do that stuff (i.e., the preface and last two intros)… the real “writing” on Tuesday at your place… I think it works better with pacing.
Gberg: So let’s work our way through the book.
Gberg: Let’s start in the food chapter.
Gberg: We need to add something to this mother.
Leyner: Like?
Gberg: Some sidebars.
Leyner: I’m getting a Propel.
Gberg: Okay, so we need to add some expert medical commentary. By the way, do you think if we keep mentioning Propel, that delicious vitamin-enhanced beverage from the makers of Gatorade, we can get some free stuff?
Gberg: Only 20 calories per bottle. Sweet candy water!!! Where are you?
Leyner: OK, Pops. I’m here, eating my sandwich, drinking Propel… yes, absolutely!!!! We should shamelessly and unethically claim that Propel cures impotence, Crohn’s disease…
Gberg:… and the smell of your urine from asparagus…
Leyner:… halitosis, and rectal whatever the hell you have.
Gberg: Should we add some French jokes?
Leyner: Certainly — let’s claim that Propel deodorizes your urine EVEN after eating asparagus… then we’ll get cases of the stuff!
Gberg: And you have to be a little less vulgar otherwise my wife won’t be able to give this book to anyone as a gift without offending them.
Gberg: Bunch of puritans!
Parents are always looking for an excuse to explain their children’s bad behavior, and sugar has taken a lot of blame. This may come as no surprise, but the Coca-Cola Company doesn’t want to take responsibility, and makes it very clear that studies have failed to find any substantial evidence proving a relationship between sugar consumption and hyperactivity. Well, the company is correct. Sugar does feed the body as an energy source, but it doesn’t make kids hyperactive.
It is more likely that kids tend to eat sugary foods at times when they would be excited and rambunctious anyway (parties, holidays, movies, weddings, funerals). This can only be good news for the producers of such fine healthy treats as Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries, Pixy Stix, cotton candy, and Laffy Taffy.
Aaaah, the joy of a Popsicle on a hot summer day.
One theory places the source for the brain freeze in the sinuses, where the pain may be caused by the rapid cooling of air in the frontal sinuses. This triggers local pain receptors.
Another theory postulates that the constriction of blood vessels in the roof and rear of the mouth causes pain receptors to overload and refer the pain to your head. There is a nerve center there, in the back of your mouth, called the sphenopalatine ganglion, and this is the most likely source of the dreaded ice cream headache.
A friend of ours suggested a quick cure of rapidly rubbing your tongue on the roof of your mouth to warm it up. Her demonstration included a bizarre clucking sound. Leyner tried this and found himself followed by a large goose of whom he seems to have become inordinately fond.
For those of you who use chocolate as a substitute for sex, you can breathe a sigh of relief. There is no evidence that acne is caused by chocolate. Acne is connected more to changing hormones than to food choices.
Links have also been made between stress and acne. Recently, a group of dermatologists set out to prove that this common belief was also a myth but they found the reverse. Their study of twenty-two college students found that emotional stress was directly linked to acne severity.
But back to the chocolate issue, the University of Pennsylvania and the U.S. Naval Academy both demonstrated that chocolate does not cause acne. At the University of Pennsylvania, researchers fed subjects “chocolate” bars with no chocolate, while another group ate chocolate bars with nearly ten times as much chocolate as in a typical bar. Results of the experiment showed no significant difference in acne in either group. Other forbidden greasy foods like French fries, fried chicken, nachos, potato chips, and pork rinds probably don’t cause dreaded zits either. So lighten up, kick back, and relax, and if that doesn’t work go to McDonald’s for a supersize fries and a chocolate shake.
Cutting an onion releases an enzyme called lachrymatory-factor synthase. This starts the process that leads to tears. This enzyme then reacts with amino acids of the onion and the amino acids are converted to sulfenic acids. The sulfenic acids spontaneously rearrange to form syn-propanethial-
S-oxide, which is released into the air. When this chemical reaches the eyes, it triggers the tears by contacting nerve fibers on the cornea that activate the tear glands. Now you are crying.
Scientists have tried to make a “noncrying” onion but it seems that the crying enzymes are also responsible for the zesty onion flavor. But there may be some hope on the way. The group of Japanese plant biochemists that only recently discovered lachrymatory-factor synthase, the crying enzyme, believe that “it might be possible to develop a nonlachrymatory onion by suppressing the lachrymatory-factor-synthase gene while increasing the yield of thiosulphinate.” Sounds delicious!
In the meantime there are several solutions to try to avoid the problem of onion-induced tears. Heating onions before chopping, cutting under a steady stream of water, or wearing goggles.
The most reliable: ordering takeout.
A well-placed cucumber may feel wonderful, but there is no special ingredient in it that reduces swelling under the eyes. Cucumbers are 90 percent water, and it is the cooling effect of the water that constricts the blood vessels around the eyes, therefore decreasing the swelling. The colder the cuke the better.
Some other swollen-eye solutions include black tea bags in cold water, the tannic acid content being the key to reducing swelling. Hemorrhoid cream also helps, but I’d prefer puffy eyes.
There is no solid medical reason for juice and cookies after blood donation. The idea is that this little snack will help to replenish your fluids and raise your blood sugar. But donating blood shouldn’t really affect your blood sugar, and the small amount of juice that you drink probably has no significant effect on your fluid status. The best use of this snack is to allow you to rest and adjust before you go on your way after doing your civic duty.
Perhaps other food combinations could attract more blood donors: