Connie Willis
Why The World Didn't End Last Tuesday
The meeting, was at Gabe's, and I'd told everybody to be there at three, but Sara was the only one on time.
"John can't come," Gabe said. "He had to go to Patmos."
"Is he sending somebody from the Planning Committee then?" I said. We had a lot of decisions to make, and the Planning Committee always has a fit if you don't follow their plans to the letter.
"He didn't say whether he was or not," Gabe said.
"What about everybody else?" I said. "Where's Raquel? And Rate?"
Gabs shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Nobody else has called to say they couldn't come, and you know Phanuel and his buddies. They're always late."
"I know," I said. The three of them have never made it to any of my meetings on time, and that time they were supposed to run up to Mature and tell Abraham's wife she was pregnant, they were so late she was eighty
But Rafe is usually early. And prepared. And has actually done everything he was supposed to, which was why I'd put him in charge of Publicity. And now he wasn't here either.
"It's three-fifteen," I said. "Where are they?"
"Don't get in a tailspin," Gabe said. "So they're a few minutes late. It's not the end of the world. They'll get here pretty soon." He turned to Sara. "Can I get you anything, Saraqael?"
She shook her head.
"Michael?" he said to me.
"The rest of the committee;" I said glumly.
"Yeah," Sara said, tapping her foot. "I wish they'd get here so we could get started. I've got to leave at four."
At four. Wonderful. "Where are they?" I said. "Don't they realize this thing is only two weeks away, and we're not even half ready? We don't have a place booked, we don't have the programs printed, we haven't even started on the decorations-"
"Oh, that reminds me," Saraqael said, leafing through her daily planner, "I had a question about the seating." She leafed some more and pulled out a piece of paper. "It says in the Planning Committee's report there are supposed to be twenty-four seats for the elders `round about the throne: What does `round about' mean exactly? Are they supposed to be on the sides or in front or what? It doesn't say."
Which is why the Planning Committee should be here, I thought, instead of traipsing off to Patmos. "On the sides," I said. "If they don't like it, they can change it."
"On the sides," Saraqael said, writing it down. "I hope that won't get in the way of the rainbow."
"Rainbow?" I said.
"The rainbow `round about the throne, in sight like unto an emerald,"' she said, reading from the instructions again. "You have no idea how much trouble I had finding a green rainbow. I had to go to five different places, and the only one they had was huge. I'm afraid if the elders sit on the sides the rainbow will be right on top of them."
"Have them sit in the front, then," I said.
"Okay," she said. "No, that won't work. The Seven Lamps of Fire are in front. How about if they sit behind the throne?"
"Fine," I said. "Why don't you go ahead and report on the decorations, since you have to leave early?"
"Okay," she said, fishing for another set of papers. "Okay, well, I've got the rainbow and
"Sorry I'm late," Phanuel said. "Uriel and Penemue and I got stuck at Sodom. They'll be here in a few minutes."
"Can I get you anything?" Gabe said.
"No, I'm fine." He sat down. "What did I miss?"
"Saraqael's making her report on the decorations. Go ahead, Sara."
"Okay, well, I've got the rainbow, and the seats for the elders. I don't have the seats for the choir yet because I didn't know how many we needed."
"Who's in charge of the choir?" I asked.
"Penemue," Phanuel said. "He should be here any minute."
"We'll do the choir when he gets here," I said. "Go ahead."
"Okay, well, I've got the rainbow and the seats for the elders and the seven lamps
"Fine," I said. "Whatever. Go on."
"Okay, and I've got-"
"Sorry I'm late," Uriel said.
"Can I get you anything?" Gabe said.
"No, that's okay," Uriel said, sitting down. "I got stuck talking to Lot's wife. You know how she is. I couldn't get away. Are we to Programming yet?"
"No," I said. "Saraqael's reporting on the decorations." I nodded at her to start.
"Okay, well, I've got the rainbow-" she said.
"And the lamps and the chairs for the elders," I said quickly. "What about the Book of the Judgments?"
"Yeah," she said, " `written within and on the back side and sealed with seven seals.' I don't have the wax for the seven seals yet. I didn't know what color you wanted me to get."
"Red," Phanuel said.
"Black," Uriel said at the same time.
"What does the Planning Committee report say?" I asked.
"It doesn't," Sara said. "I was kind of thinking gold to go with the crowns and the trumpets."
"Fine," I said. "Gold."
"Shouldn't there be a motion?" Phanuel said.
No, I thought, but I said, "Sure. Do I have a motion that the wax for the seals be gold?"
"I so move," Sara said.
"I second," Gabe said.
"Discussion?" I said.
"I think black would be more appropriate than gold," Uriel said. "After all, the breaking of the seals is supposed to signal the coming of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."
"Or red," Phanuel said. "To go with the moon's turning to blood. And one of the horses is red, isn't it? Death or something?"
"War's red," Gabe said. "Death is a pale horse, pale rider."
"What does `a pale horse' mean?" Sara said. "White, or a palomino, or what?"
"Gray," Uriel said.
"White," Gabe said.
"It can't be white," Phanuel said. "Famine's horse is white:"
Penemue came in. "You guys went off without me," he said. "I thought you said we were all going to meet at Gomorrah and come over together."
"Can I get you anything?" Gabe said.
"I waited for half an hour for you guys," Penemue said. "It was like a furnace." He sat down. "What are we talking about?"
"The seven seals," Uriel said. "What color do you think they should be.
"Blue," he said.
"Blue?" Uriel said.
"Why in heaven's name blue?" Phanuel said.
"I like blue," he said.
"There's a motion on the table," I said. "All those in favor of the seals being gold say aye."
Gabe and Sara voted aye. Uriel, Phanuel, and Penemue voted nay, which meant it was a tie. I said, "Sara, get in touch with the Planning Committee and ask them what they want," which I should have said in the first place. "Do you have anything else to report?"
She shook her head.
"Good. Publicity?"
"That's Rafe," Gabe said.
Which I knew. I was getting rattled. It was three forty.
"I forgot to bring my list," Penemue said. "Do you want me to go get it?"
"No," I said. "Do you have the judgments lined up?"
"That's Programming’s job," he said. "I was in charge of getting the seraphim and the four horsemen."
"Do you have them?"
"All but Pestilence. And does anybody have a pair of scales that Famine can carry?"
"I've got a pair of scales for measuring the hills and the mountains, but I think they'd be too big," Gabe said.
"What about the balance Nebuchadnezzar was weighed in?" Phanuel said. "Isn't that around somewhere?"
"I think Daniel has it," Uriel said. "I'll ask him."
"Good," I said. "And you've got the seraphim?"
"Yes. They wanted to know what they were supposed to wear."
"White raiment," Sara said. "That's what everybody else is wearing, the elders and the souls that were slain for the word of God and the choir. Speaking of which, I need to know how many chairs the choir's going to need."
"Penemue?" I said.
He shuffled through a tangle of papers. "I must have left my list at home."