“No,” he finally admitted. “I’m not okay. I’m really fucking far from okay.”
The hoarse, guttural sound of his voice made her melt, and she was keenly aware of the slick warmth of her juices slipping down her inner thighs. She was wet and empty and aching inside. What was he waiting for?
“Are you going to touch me?”
When he didn’t respond, she arched her back a little deeper, swaying her bottom a bit, too desperate to care that she was practically begging for him. “Please, Scott. Do it.”
His fingers tightened on her ass, and for a moment there was nothing but the heavy, breath-filled silence that surrounded them, pressing down on them, thick with secrets and things she didn’t understand. Her lungs locked as his hand slowly started to slide lower. But his touch and weight were suddenly gone before he reached the drenched folds of her sex. There was a sharp, visceral growl, followed by the sound of one of his massive fists slamming into the wall behind the bed. She rolled over, crouching in the middle of the sheets, unable to believe he was walking out on her.
“Where are you going?” she demanded, watching him stalk across the room without once looking in her direction.
He stopped at the door, his big hands digging into the frame on either side, the power of his body so beautiful she wanted to throw herself at him. But it was what lay inside that had always fascinated her, trapping her heart before she was even old enough to understand what this kind of attachment meant. That it would ruin her for other men. Make her ache. Make her miserable.
“Get dressed,” he muttered. “We’re meeting Ben at his place in half an hour.”
Then he was gone.
• • •
THE DRIVE TO the sheriff’s house took little more than ten minutes. Ryder had been waiting for her when she’d finally come out of the guest room after getting ready, and by some unspoken agreement, neither of them had mentioned what had happened.
“Uh, Scott?” she murmured, staring through the windshield of his Jeep at the cars parked in the shared driveway of two beautiful beach houses that looked to be under a massive remodeling job that would make them a single house. “Is there some kind of party going on here?”
“Ben and his wife are throwing a birthday party for one of her sisters down on the beach later. He said people would probably show up early to help with the cooking and to get things ready.”
Lily pulled her lower lip through her teeth. “Does he mind us being here?”
“Not at all,” he said, not looking at her as he pulled his key from the ignition. “He invited us to the party, but I told him I thought it would be best if you kept a low profile for the moment.”
“Thanks,” she whispered, thinking the last thing she could probably handle right now was a party with a bunch of strangers.
They climbed out of the Jeep and made their way through the parked cars, then around the side of the house on the right, until they’d reached the crowded back patio. Standing on the fringes of the bustling group, Ryder pointed to a muscular, dark-haired guy who was sinfully good-looking. “The tall guy over there is Ben.”
“That’s who you’re worried is going to play matchmaker?” she asked, barely able to hold in her laughter as she studied the man who was stringing a strand of small white lights across the opposite end of the patio. He was gorgeous, but looked tough as hell. “Honestly, Scott.”
When she sent him a look that said she thought he was crazy, he smirked. “You want to feel my palm on your ass again?”
She was surprised he’d mentioned it, and more than a little surprised at how turned on she was by the idea. Heat sizzled through her as she murmured, “I might.”
“Christ.” He blew out a soft breath, and there was a crooked tilt to his mouth as he shook his head. “I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”
“You certainly did,” she said with a soft laugh, thinking he might actually be loosening up a little. Looking back at the sheriff, she asked, “Is it hard for you to take orders from a guy who isn’t military?” On the drive over, he’d explained Ben Hudson’s background as a Miami homicide detective, before the lawman had relocated to Moss Beach and taken on the role of county sheriff.
“Not at all,” he murmured, nodding to the people who either smiled at them or gave them a little wave. They were definitely getting some curious looks, but everyone seemed friendly and welcoming. “Ben knows what he’s doing,” he added. “That’s all that matters to me.”
She smiled, thinking Ryder had always been that way. For such a badass alpha soldier who had been as lethal with a computer as he’d been with a knife, he’d never been one to play the macho asshole card. He’d taken his orders from her father without ever batting an eye, and he’d been loyal to the members of his team. He hadn’t swaggered with attitude like so many of the elite soldiers.
“Hey, Ryder. You gonna introduce me to the lovely lady?”
Ryder mentally cursed as Michael Hudson, Ben’s younger brother, walked toward him and Lily. Ben had obviously asked everyone to give them a bit of space, but Mike either hadn’t gotten the message, or had simply decided to ignore it. Before he could tell the hotshot DEA agent to back off, Lily stuck her hand out and smiled. “Hi. I’m Lily Heller.”
There was a wicked gleam in Mike’s pale green eyes as he shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Lily. I’m Mike Hudson. Ben’s brother.”
Though she’d had a change of clothes in the backpack she’d brought with her, she obviously hadn’t had any makeup to put on. Her face was freshly scrubbed, her skin glowing and healthy, making her look even younger than she was. And incredibly innocent—even though Ryder knew she wasn’t. Not after what had happened that morning. A virgin would have been screaming her head off at having her underwear ripped down and her sweet little ass smacked, instead of moaning and wiggling for more. His right hand flexed at his side, his palm burning with remembered sensation. Her rounded backside had been so smooth and soft. It’d taken every ounce of willpower he possessed not to push his hand lower, between her legs, and palm her hot little cunt. Even more to refrain from rolling her over and shoving her legs out flat at her sides so that he could get a good long look at her tender folds, before lowering his head and going at her like a man who’d been starving for too damn long.
“So how do you know this jackass?” Mike asked, interrupting the dangerous track of his thoughts. Last thing he needed was to get hard in front of all these fucking people. Ben would never let him live it down.
“Mike,” he grunted, that single word holding a wealth of warning. Before Ryder could say anything more, Ben finally came over, slapping his brother on the back.
“Get lost, Mike. They’re here on business.”
Mike’s pale gaze skimmed over the faded bruise on Lily’s jaw. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” he said in a hard voice, before walking away.
Ben shot a warm look toward his wife, Reese, who was standing at one of the tables with her mother, both women busy putting flowers into little vases that’d been tied with ribbons. Then the sheriff turned and headed through a set of French doors, into the house, and Ryder and Lily followed after him. Ryder kept his hand against her lower back as they made their way through the house to Ben’s home office. At the beginning of the summer, it had been a man’s office, nice but rugged with a single desk. Now it sported a slightly smaller, feminine desk on the other side of the room, where Reese worked. This room was hardly the only change in Ben’s life since he’d fallen head-over-ass for the sexy little schoolteacher—but for some reason it made Ryder uncomfortable. He scowled as he looked around, noting the two mugs sitting on the larger desk. One had lipstick on the rim, as if Reese had been cuddled up in her husband’s lap as they’d shared their morning coffee. And then there were the fucking photos on the walls and their desks. Wedding photos. Honeymoon photos. The smiling, laughing couple with their arms wrapped around each other. The looks on their faces happier than he’d ever thought people could be. That it could happen to a tough son of a bitch like Ben threw him. He didn’t like being in this space, where everything screamed couple and commitment and all the things that scared the living shit out of him. And he sure as hell didn’t like being in here with Lily.