“I’ll think about it,” he replied, moving back to his feet. “We should be okay staying at my place for the next day or so, but it might be a good idea by the time we’re expecting Radovich.”
Ben nodded his head in agreement. “Just let me know if you change your mind and want to head over earlier. I’ll get someone from the station to drop the keys off at your place, and the house will be yours.”
FOUR
GLAD TO BE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THERE, RYDER CLIMBED into the Jeep, put the key in the ignition, and cranked the engine.
“Now what?” Lily asked, as she closed the Jeep’s passenger door and buckled her seat belt.
Reversing out of the drive, he said, “We need to get your things from the motel.”
“It won’t take long, because I don’t have much. When I ran, I barely had enough time to grab some money and clothes. The only reason I have my toiletries and birth control pills is because they were already in my pack. I didn’t even have time to get my cell phone.”
Birth control pills? Fuck. He wasn’t touching that subject with a ten-foot pole.
When she’d rolled over on the bed that morning, after he’d spanked her, her panties had still been around her knees, but he deliberately hadn’t looked. He’d known that staring at her glossy little bush and maybe even catching a glimpse of the pink folds between her legs was something he couldn’t risk. If he had, it would have been nearly impossible to walk away. And if he’d known she might let him fuck her without a condom . . . Christ. He wouldn’t have stood a chance in hell.
Three years might have passed since he’d last seen her, but the passage of time hadn’t lessened the way he felt about her. In a different lifetime, he would have wanted to thoroughly imprint himself on the woman. To mark her. Ink his claim into her blood and bones, so that he could own every part of her. But that wasn’t the fucking answer. Not in this lifetime. She was too damn young to know what she’d be signing up for with him. And he was too messed up to handle her. Trying to deal with her would drive him bat-shit crazy, and no doubt end up making her hate him within a month. Maybe even weeks. He’d want to tie her up and never let her go. Not for sex, though he definitely liked the idea of her bound and at his mercy. But just to keep her . . . safe. To keep her with him, so she couldn’t ever slip away.
A healthy relationship required trust. Something Ryder knew he didn’t and would never have in him. Not for her . . . and not for himself. And it wasn’t because he didn’t have it in him to stay faithful to a woman he loved and keep his dick in his pants. It was the sheer fact that he would never trust himself not to be a controlling, manipulative asshole.
That, and the fact that he’d be willing to destroy the goddamn world if it meant keeping her safe. If he ever doubted it, all he had to do was remember Minsk and the night his fucking face got ripped open. Then it became pretty fucking clear.
With the short conversation about her things at the motel over, he drove with the radio playing low, the windows down, enjoying the milder weather now that it was easing deeper into fall. He wanted to keep his mouth shut and just enjoy the calm while he kept his eye out for anyone following them. But he couldn’t do it. There was something he had to say.
“Listen, about Mike.” He scrubbed one hand over the top of his head, then dropped it back to the wheel. “Don’t fall for his I’m just a good ol’ boy routine. He goes through women even faster than Jace did.” Jace had been a member of the old unit, and the biggest womanizer the state of Virginia had probably ever seen.
Though he kept his eyes on the road, he could feel the heat of her stare as she turned her head to look at him. “You’re telling me this why?”
“I noticed the way he looked at you back at Ben’s.”
“Hmm. I didn’t notice,” she murmured, sounding uninterested and like she had something else on her mind. “He was nice, but he’s not really my type.”
Ryder snorted, finding that hard to believe. Mike was six-four, dark-haired, and green-eyed, with a face and body that probably stopped women in the street when they saw him. And there wasn’t a single scar that he knew of on the cocky jackass.
She looked his way again. “What? You don’t believe me?”
Rolling his shoulder, he said, “Come on, Lily. The guy’s a fucking Adonis.”
“Yeah?” She lifted her brows when he glanced at her. “You got the hots for him?”
He grunted something gritty under his breath. “No, but I’ve got eyes.”
Lily bit her tongue, wanting to tell him that he might have eyes, but he still couldn’t see what was right in front of his face. Not that it would do her any good. “Well, don’t worry about Mike. I’m not going to embarrass you by throwing myself at him or anything. I doubt I’ll ever even see him again.”
He gave another masculine grunt, and they went back to not talking, until she said, “You don’t think Radovich would do anything to your sister, do you?” She’d never met Ryder’s sister, Shelby, but she’d read about her in his file. They had different mothers and hadn’t grown up together, but when Shelby had been a teenager she’d tracked him down, determined to have a relationship with the brother she’d never even met. She sounded gutsy and loyal, and Lily had a feeling that she’d have really liked her if they’d ever gotten a chance to know each other. She went on, saying, “Some of the things Ben said have got me worrying about it.”
“I don’t think he’d target her.” Stopping at a red light, he turned his head and caught her gaze. “But to be safe I called her in the middle of the night and told her to stay with friends until this is over. She wasn’t happy about it, but I promised her it wouldn’t be for long.”
Oh. So getting rid of her quickly wasn’t the only reason he’d sped up the time frame with Rado. Knowing that made her feel a little better. Not much, but a little.
“I also made calls to the other guys in the old unit.”
“What did you tell them?”
“I kept it short and simple. Just let them know to watch their backs and keep their eyes open. I didn’t mention Rado by name, but they know to be on high alert until I get back to them and give the all clear.”
They reached the town’s cheapest motel minutes later, parking the Jeep in the crowded lot at the side of the long, rectangular building, and then made their way through the front entrance. Lily was pulling the card key out of her pocket, when a woman’s keening cries of pleasure echoed from the room across the hallway. “Wow. Someone sounds like they’re having a good time,” she murmured, sliding him a laughing look.
A grim smile twisted his mouth. “You just couldn’t ignore it, could you?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” She gave a soft laugh as she unlocked the door. They stepped into the room’s narrow hallway, the bathroom on their right, the bed around the corner, out of sight. She shut the door behind him, then turned and leaned back against it.
“What?” he asked warily, studying the look on her face.
“Nothing.” With a little grin, she said, “It’s just that I always wanted to be in a sleazy motel room with you.”
His expression tightened. “Stop talking shit like that.”
“Sorry,” she offered with a shrug. “You asked. I was just being honest.”
He caught her arm as she started to move past him, forcing her to look up at him. “You really wanted me to fuck you in a cheap motel room?”