She was still trying to figure that out. “Zane, I know I let you down, and I’m so sorry. But I’m trying to make it right. I’m trying to fix things.”
“I don’t understand.”
She bent slightly at the waist because her chest hurt so badly. “When Dane died, I didn’t know what to do. Ivan was still after me, and as you know, we demons weren’t aligned with the Realm, so I didn’t know Dage would help. I was so weak. I’m so sorry. You’ll never know how sorry I am.” Tears spilled out over her eyelids and cooled her face.
Zane frowned. “What are you talking about?”
She threw up her hands, finally speaking the whole truth. “I can’t attack minds, and I can’t teleport. I desperately wanted to fight Ivan, but I couldn’t leave you boys alone if I lost. More than that, I couldn’t protect you by myself. I’m so sorry. So sorry I had to take us back to Suri for protection. Everything that happened, all that you’ve been through, is my fault.” The guilt almost swallowed her whole, every night.
He frowned down at her. “No, it isn’t.”
“Do you think I don’t know?” she yelled. “About how hard he trained you? About your being forced to become a soldier, to fight and kill? I know all of it.”
Zane settled his stance, back in control. “I’m a soldier, Mom. Even if we’d stayed in Africa, even if Dad had lived, I’d be right here now.”
She shook her head. “I couldn’t protect you.” A tear fell from her face to plop on her shirt.
“You protected all of us.” He reached her in one long stride and gripped her hands. “We’re strong, and we’re safe. Going back to Suri was the only way you could keep us safe.” Releasing her, he gently wiped the tears from her face. “Stop torturing yourself. We all did our best, and I love you.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yeah, I do.” He smiled. “Let this go. Trust me.”
She wiped her eyes, finally releasing some of the burden. “I love you, too.”
He tugged her close for a hug, as always, holding her like she was made of glass. “I didn’t know you felt like this, and I should have. I’m sorry.”
She sniffed against his chest. “This is all my fault.”
“No, it isn’t.” He leaned back, green eyes serious. “You need to understand that I have never thought you were weak. Abilities like teleporting are just abilities and have nothing to do with strength. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met.”
Well, geez. More tears filled her eyes. “Zane.”
“And I’m sure that a lot of this mess we’re in right now, even though it was your grand plan, is the enforcer’s fault.” Zane grinned.
Humor tickled up and she chuckled. “Oh, Zane. I’ve been just awful to him, and he’s tried so hard to keep me safe. I drugged him. Three times.”
Zane shot both eyebrows up. “And he let you?”
“Well, once.” She sobered. “Not once did I think Ivan would take Logan. He’s a bad guy, and now he has my baby.”
Zane lifted her chin. “Logan is as tough as they come. I know he’s young, but he’s fought in a war. He’s a soldier, and I’ve trained him. I promise he will be okay.”
She swallowed and nodded. “I know. Daire and I already talked, and he promised not to get in the way when I have to go and meet Ivan in exchange for Logan.”
The door opened. “I most certainly did not,” Daire said, fire crackling down his arms.
The cell deep in the mine was surrounded by black rock on every surface. A lone lightbulb had been strung across the top and hung down, swaying just a little.
Ivan sat on one of two metal chairs across from the young vampire-demon mix, curiosity burning through him. Logan Kyllwood met his gaze evenly, eyes sizzling, the bruise along his jawline already healing now that he’d fully gained consciousness.
They hadn’t had a chance to talk until now. “I’ve wondered about you,” Ivan said, the smell of rock and earth wafting around.
The kid leaned back in the chair, and a veil dropped over his eyes. Even bound tight with titanium shackles, a sense of danger cascaded from him. Not once had he complained or asked for any bit of mercy. His gaze had remained sure and determined, his body relaxed. “I don’t give a shit about you,” he returned.
“You might,” Ivan drawled. “Considering I’m going to be your mother’s mate.”
Logan smiled then.
A chill clacked down Ivan’s back, and he fought a shiver.
“There’s no way in hell you’re getting close enough to whisper to my mother, much less mate her.” Absolute confidence echoed in the kid’s low tone.
“Do you have her weaknesses?” Ivan asked.
Logan’s chin lifted. “My mother doesn’t have any weaknesses.”
Fair enough. Ivan gathered strength from the atmosphere around them, centered himself, and pushed images of death and decay toward the kid’s brain. He waited a beat and propelled blades of pain into Logan’s frontal cortex.
A mental shield slapped so quickly into place, Ivan’s head jerked back.
Satisfaction filled him. “So you can shield.” Good. Any kids he had with Felicity wouldn’t be weak like her.
Logan didn’t answer.
“Any chance you’ll attack me back?” Ivan asked. If he could just determine that the kid had basic demon-fighting abilities, he could rest easier.
“Fuck you.” Logan stretched his neck, his eyes blinking.
Was the kid getting sleepy? Jesus. He wasn’t scared at all.
Ivan cocked his head to the side. “I could decapitate you right here and now.”
“If you were gonna take my head, you would’ve already done it,” Logan drawled.
“Maybe I’m waiting until your mother offers herself as a sacrifice.”
Logan lifted a shoulder. “Even if you do take my head, saying you could, I have two brothers who will gladly take yours, plus a best friend who’s more dangerous than you’ll ever be. And allies, including the Coven Nine enforcers.” He kicked out his legs. “My mom will be safe from you, which is all that really matters.”
“Well, aren’t you cocooned in love and security?” Ivan snapped.
Logan chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so. Who knew we’d end up here?”
Ivan shook his head. He really was going to have to kill the kid, and it was almost a shame. “You ever kill anybody, kid?”
Logan sobered. “None of your business.”
“I thought so.” Rumor had it Logan had fought during the last war and was a hell of a soldier. “Stays with you, doesn’t it?”
“Fuck you.”
Ivan smiled. His phone buzzed, interrupting his fun. He sighed and glanced down to see Phillipe Sadler’s contact information. Slowly, he lifted the phone to his ear. “Have you found your brother?” he asked without preamble.
“No, but I’m tracing his whereabouts, and if you hurt him, I’ll end you,” Phillipe said, his voice a throaty threat.
Ivan sighed loudly. “I don’t kill my business partners, and if your brother met with trouble, it’s more likely that the enforcers tracked him down.”
“You know, I think you’re full of shit, Bychkov.” A rustling echoed over the line.
“I don’t know where Rudger is,” Ivan said evenly. “If he’s working against me, or if this is some sort of power play put on by the two of you, then I’m going to come at you with everything I have.”
“Is that a fact?” Phillipe asked. “Do you really think I’ve just been on a wild ride trying to find him?” Another rustle came over the line, and a woman’s low cry pierced Ivan’s ears.
“Ivan? I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what—”
Ivan shut his eyes. “Millicent?” The stupid cow. She’d seen Rudger’s corpse and had cleaned up the blood.
Phillipe came back on the line. “If you want her back, you’ll meet me in Seattle.”