Pulling a mug from the cabinet, Mystery tried to sniffle quietly, but nothing made it past him.
“Shh, princess. Here’s the truth about me and Misty. That’s her name, by the way. I am not in love with her. I never have been. She’s not in love with me, either.”
At that, Mystery nearly rolled her eyes. Attractive, smart, funny, protective, damn good in bed . . . “You don’t owe me anything, so you don’t have to come up with an excuse. You have a girlfriend. I barged into your life and threw myself at you. I wish you hadn’t taken me up on the stupid offer if you were in a relationship, but it’s done. I won’t be the other woman, so I’d appreciate it if you stopped touching me.”
“You’re not the other woman because Misty is not my girlfriend. She never has been.” Axel wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close.
It was all Mystery could do not to snort. She’d bet Misty didn’t view the situation the way Axel did. In fact, it would probably be news to her that she wasn’t his girlfriend.
“And I’m not going to stop touching you,” he vowed, tugging her away from the stove. “Come here.”
As he pulled her back to the table and tried to settle her on his lap, Mystery balked, jumping to her feet again. “I said I’d listen, but I won’t crawl on your lap like she did. Whatever you have to say, you can do it without your hands or your dick.”
Gritting his teeth, he let her up, then kicked one of the other chairs from under the table. “Then sit. And I want you to fucking listen.”
Mystery started to tell him that he wasn’t the boss of her, but he was used to being in charge in bed . . . and probably out of it, too. A part of her wanted to believe that he wouldn’t bother to talk it out with her if she meant nothing to him beyond a piece of ass. But who knew?
She backed into the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. “What?”
“I’m trying to have a conversation with you, face-to-face, the way adults do. You’re making that damn hard when you’re pouting.”
“Well, excuse the hell out of me for being shocked that you could fuck me twice in the last few hours, then look awfully comfortable with another woman on your lap. Do you know how stupid that made me feel? How manipulated and used?”
“And you didn’t use me when you picked me up in the bar to scratch your itch? By your own admission, you had zero intention of coming clean with me about your identity or talking to me again.”
“We discussed this. I never meant to hurt you. I apologized.”
“But I genuinely listened and tried to see your side of the story. Could you extend me the same courtesy?”
His question pricked her with guilt. He had listened. She just kept butting in and sounding like a jealous shrew. “Fine. I’m all ears. What’s with you two?”
“In a nutshell, without divulging Misty’s secrets. She came to Thorpe’s club a few years ago in a very fragile state. She’d been through a lot. She needed a friend, an ear, a Dominant to give her some boundaries and foundation. In short, she needed someone she could count on. But every once in a while, she craved a man to hold her. Because Misty trusted me most and Thorpe asked me to take her under my wing, I did it.”
Mystery didn’t understand. “So . . . you’re saying you just gave her a pity fuck when she wanted it?”
“What I did for her wasn’t about sex. I love Misty. But like I said, I’m not in love with her.”
“Meaning, you don’t love her enough to be monogamous.” She rolled her eyes. “What kind of semantics is that?”
“You’re making snap decisions based on your past experiences, and none of that has anything to do with me. What you’re thinking is wrong. Misty and I have never had an exclusive relationship. I was her Dominant, not her boyfriend. I made her feel safe by checking her locks, installing a security system for her, helping her pick out a dog, and giving her someone to call at three a.m. if she thought she heard something out of place at her apartment. I gave her an ear whenever nightmares overwhelmed her or whenever some dirtbag hit on her too hard and scared the crap out of her. I gave her a pal when she wanted to see a movie or didn’t want to spend a holiday alone. Just like I gave her a spanking when she was too bottled up to cry and I gave her sex when she was desperate to feel like a ‘normal’ woman. Because it was my role as her Dominant, I gave her whatever she needed. Sometimes that was a firm ‘no’ when she reached for that third cosmo. Sometimes that was a long, slow fuck by the lake. I learned her well and took care of her even better because I cared. I wasn’t attached to anyone else, and I’m happier when I’m needed. It was a win-win for us both.”
Mystery gaped at him. She wasn’t even sure how to process his words. “It sounds like you were pretty devoted for not being her boyfriend.”
“It’s hard to explain the concept of Dominant and protector to people who apply the terms through their vanilla filter. I dated other people. She encouraged me to because we weren’t romantically involved. Emotionally, yeah. But not hearts and flowers. More like . . . friends with benefits, but the friendship far outweighed the sex.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “To be honest, Misty would only break down once or twice a year and ask for sex. Only then would she give herself voluntarily.”
Frowning, Mystery digested Axel’s words. Pity smothered her anger. “She was raped.”
He held up his hands. “Her secrets are her own. I care about you, Mystery, and I want to save whatever us we might have, but I can’t betray her confidence. It wouldn’t be fair.”
In a way, she respected him more for it. Yeah, it infuriated her and made her feel a bit like she was on the outside looking in. On the other hand, he stayed true to his friends and his principles. Mystery didn’t exactly understand this relationship he’d shared with Misty. But she also didn’t imagine Axel would be trying so hard to explain their odd, romantically platonic relationship if she wasn’t important to him.
She bit her lip, still trying to wrap her head around everything he’d said. “So she’s your submissive?”
“Not anymore. What you saw tonight was Misty and me moving on. Despite the fact that she’s not ready to be alone, she realized I could no longer be her Dominant in every way. She broke it off so I would be free to go after the woman who could make me happy. You.”
His words stunned her. Sizzled through her. Flattened her. Her cautious side told her not to leap too quickly at his pretty words. The rest of her jumped at them. “Is that why you came up to my aunt’s house?”
“Of course.” He searched her face. “Why else would I pull all kinds of strings to borrow a jet to reach you before you could slip through my fingers again?”
“I’m not just . . . a responsibility?”
“Fuck no. Why would you think that?”
Mystery ducked her head, wringing her hands. “Well, you told Heath that you came because my father wanted you here and—”
“Princess, I’m telling your bodyguard what I think he’ll actually hear because I don’t owe him the truth. You deserve to know what I’m thinking and how I feel, so here I am. I hope like hell you’re understanding me.”
She was, and hope welled inside her. Mystery didn’t want to be that naïve girl who believed everything the man she was crazy over told her, but she also didn’t want to be the cynic who let a good thing slip away because she was too jaded to believe. “I was excited you’d come here. Relieved.”
“Because you didn’t want to be alone with Heath? Did he hurt you?”
“No. He never would.” She bit her lip, oddly nervous, but if Axel was being so honest, she had to try, too. “I was glad you’d traveled up here because I figured if you did, I must mean something to you.”
He gave her a slow smile. “You could say that. When I realized you were gone, I fucking panicked. I’m just glad I found you and that you’re all right.”