To make a long story short, we traded mates for an evening and found it caused no problems whatsoever. In addition to the pleasure of intimacy with Roberta, I felt a brotherly affection for Hal and satisfaction over the pleasure he and Ellie had given each other. These feelings deepened for all of us every time we repeated the experiment, and it was mutually agreed that a group marriage would be ideal for us. At the same time, we were unsure whether it was feasible. An exposure of such an arrangement would certainly lead to loss of jobs for the three of them, and possibly for me as well. We knew that anything we set up would have to be absolutely secret, and this went against the grain, in that we felt we ought to be able to be completely open about our love for one another...
I found the solution of buying a two-family house and renting out the second floor to Hal and Roberta. This made sexual interchange simple, simplified our having meals together, etc. It was not all that we wanted it to be. We were still involved in separate households, separate kitchens, all of that. We talked about converting the house — there was really no need for two kitchens. Then we realized that we had selected a two-family house in the first place for the concealment it offered, and anyone entering the place after the conversion we were talking about would realize we were living communally. Also, the conversion would lower the resale value of the house, it being in a neighborhood of multiple dwellings...
JWW: There follows an extended discussion of the evolution of the relationship, the eventual sale of the house, and the purchase of a large farmhouse within commuting distance of their jobs. The farmhouse was selected both for the privacy it offered and out of a desire to “get back to the land” by growing their own food, keeping farm animals, and living close to nature. Shortly after the move to the farm, a third couple joined the group. The couple stayed only a month before departing. They were advocates of group sex, and the wife was bisexual; the two couples had not experimented at all with group sex, and found it unpleasant, and the bisexual wife was unsuccessful at making converts of Ellie and Roberta. The separation was without rancor.
We agreed that a third couple was a desirable addition if we could find the right couple. We felt that a family of six adults would be an improvement on one of four. We have never tried more than three couples, and agree with Rimmer that a group of more than six is not viable... Our two other “third couples” have been welcome additions to our group, so that we feel that six is an ideal size for a group. Unfortunately, we have been unable to maintain it at this size. One couple would probably have remained with us, but the husband was transferred out-of-state, and his ties to us were not strong enough to make him look for another job. The other couple was the one I described as not legally married to each other. Hal and Roberta had known them both — they were also schoolteachers — and Ellie and I knew them through Hal and Roberta. They became aware of our group marriage, and the idea developed that they would join. The fact that they were not married and thus not deeply committed to each other kept things from working out well. Ultimately the woman left, and the man suggested he might get another girl so that he could stay with us. We decided against this, and have more or less lost contact with him since...
With each of these couples, we have noticed that the four original members are closer to one another than to the third couple, whoever they may be. This is inevitable because of our shared experiences, etc. It is our hope that we will overcome this if we find the right third couple and live with them long enough to have a real basis of mutual love with them, as the four of us have now among ourselves.
I am legally married to Ellie and consider this bond more than a scrap of paper. She and I are husband and wife in a way that goes beyond the relationship between myself and Roberta, or Ellie and Hal. I know there are groups where this is not the case. We all feel that there is a closeness and mutual need possible between two persons that cannot be felt for a larger group, at least as far as we are all concerned. In this sense you might say that we are not a group marriage in the true sense of the term, but are two couples who live communally and share sex...
Finances are kept separate. Ellie and I have our money, Roberta and Hal have theirs. Household accounts and the like are paid out of a common fund to which we all contribute equally. My salary plus Ellie’s part-time earnings is approximately equal to Hal and Roberta’s joint income. While financial considerations are not of major importance to any of us, we agree that a group marriage with a couple with significantly lower or higher income would be difficult and a source of stress all around.
We are unanimous in feeling that our lives are far richer for the relationship we have constructed. We feel it has made us more aware individuals, that we have “expanded our consciousnesses” in a meaningful way and without the use of drugs. (We do not drink, take pills of any sort, or smoke marijuana, although we have experimented with marijuana on several occasions. We all infinitely prefer the “natural high” which we get from each other!)
I am not including a return address, and will not sign this letter with my real name. The names “Ellie,” “Roberta,” and “Hal” are fictitious. Perhaps this represents paranoia on my part, but I hope you won’t be offended. Letters do sometimes fall into the wrong hands, and while I’m inclined to trust you personally, I don’t place similar trust in the United States Post Office Department. We simply have too much at stake to take chances. You may use this letter as you see fit, as I have written nothing that would point to us. Please do not mention the city or state where we live...
JWW: I’ve heard nothing further from Jeremy, and lacking a return address, have been unable to inquire further. Nor have I been able to answer the question which opened his letter. I guess he wrote that part before deciding to remain anonymous. Perhaps he’ll be able to locate this book on his own. If so, I hope he’ll let me know more about the course his group marriage has taken.
I find especially interesting his uncertainty as to whether or not this foursome constitutes a true group marriage. I would certainly say that it does, the special bonds between lawful spouses notwithstanding. In our next case, we’ll examine another group marriage in which no special bonds existed. The subject of group marriage was only one aspect of my several conversations with Daphne. She has been “into” a great many things in her thirty-two years: drugs, encounter groups, therapy, Freudian analysis, promiscuity, group sex, yoga, political activism, marriage, divorce, amateur prostitution, and God knows what else that she may have failed to mention.
She seems a lot more together than her background would indicate. Her varied enthusiasms represent less a devil-may-care willingness to try anything once than a rather desperate striving for utopian solutions to personal problems. But a full look at Daphne will have to wait for some other time and place; here we’ll make do with an abridged edition of her description of her venture at group marriage.