‘Bloody hell, Shirl! You eat something funny?’
‘I think it’s more to do with the armed robbery we’re about to commit!’ Shirley barked back. She knew Linda must be sick with nerves too.
There was a bit of sick down the front of Shirley’s overalls. She’d bandaged her ample chest flat, which gave her a muscular look to the top half of her body, her arms were padded out into bulging biceps, and her thighs looked pretty impressive too. In fact, from the neck down, Shirley looked like a fit bloke...
Linda sniffed the air. ‘You been smoking?’ she asked.
‘I had a couple to settle me nerves.’
‘You don’t smoke! You’re always wafting Dolly’s smoke away cos the smell sets your stomach churning. No wonder you’re being sick, you dozy cow!’ Linda pushed past Shirley, grabbed a towel, wet the corner in the office sink and then returned to scrub the sick from Shirley’s overalls. She could see how incredibly nervous Shirley was. ‘Once your head’s in that balaclava,’ she said with a wink, ‘I might fancy you summat rotten.’
Shirley snatched the cloth off Linda and they both giggled. ‘Your turn,’ she said.
Linda stripped off, pulled her overall on up to her waist line and tied the sleeves together while Shirley wrapped a bandage round her chest and the upper half of her arms.
‘Is this the weirdest thing you’ve ever done?’ Linda asked, and, once again, the women giggled. Neither knew exactly what they were laughing at, but it felt good.
Just then, Bella strode in. She sniffed. It had to be Shirley. ‘Morning.’ Bella grinned. ‘You’re both eager beavers, ain’t you? Can’t wait to get out there, eh?’ Shirley was sick into the bin again.
‘You OK, Shirl?’ Bella asked. Shirley managed a feeble moan.
Linda wanted to distract Shirley. She picked up two pairs of gloves and handed one pair each to Bella and Shirley, then she put her own gloves on. ‘OK, from this moment on — gloves. Nobody touches anything without gloves. I wiped everything down so there’s no trace of us in the place once we leave.’
‘What time is it?’ Shirley asked, lifting her head out of the bin.
‘Nearly seven,’ Bella replied. ‘You lost your watch?’
‘It’s being temperamental. Shouldn’t we synchronize them or something?’
Bella smiled a gentle smile. ‘We’re all in the same van, darlin’. Don’t worry about the time. You just stick with me.’
At 7 a.m., Dolly made her way down the side street to the market traders’ car park. The overalls with their heavy padding made her waddle as she walked. Her hair was greased back and flattened to her head and she wore a ski-mask on top of her head. Rolled up, it looked just like a woolly hat, but it was ready to be pulled over her face in an instant.
Two men unloading crates of fruit didn’t pay any attention to her, and another man she passed said, ‘Morning, mate.’ So, he thought she was a fella. Perfect.
Taking the tarpaulin off the laundry van, Dolly chucked it into the back. She then felt for the key beneath the right wheel arch, but couldn’t immediately find it. Had Linda forgotten to leave it there? She got down on her knees and looked under the arch, but still couldn’t find it. The two men looked over. Dolly tried to control her panic as she felt all round the wheel. Then a glint of metal on the ground under the wheel axle caught her eye. She breathed a sigh of relief and picked up the key.
Dolly got into the laundry van and, taking deep breaths to calm herself, checked the hockey bag containing the shotgun and sledgehammer was still there. She opened the bag, placed the sledgehammer on top a pile of laundry near the rear doors and placed the shotgun under the driver’s seat. Next, she climbed into the seat and pulled the harness over her shoulders, buckling it up and pulling the straps as tight as she could. She rocked back and forth to make certain she was secure.
Placing the key in the ignition, she turned it and the engine cranked over but didn’t start. She tried two more times without success. ‘Come on, come on...’ Dolly whispered. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the two market traders looking over in her direction, but she didn’t dare look at them in case they came over to help her. Dolly dipped her head to regain composure. Oh, Linda... I’m gonna kill you if this doesn’t start. Dolly had tested the van, she was familiar with it; why wasn’t it working now?
‘Pull the bloody choke out and pump the accelerator, mate!’ one of the market men shouted. Dolly remembered what Linda had told her.
The engine started instantly and, once ticking over, it sounded good. Dolly raised her hand in thanks. Crunching into first gear, Dolly let her foot off the clutch too quickly, sending the van lurching forward. She could hear the men laughing at her. ‘Fucking idiot!’ one of them shouted. She ignored them. She just wanted to get out of there.
Back in the lock-up, Bella lifted up the chainsaw to test it out one more time. She’d padded up her shoulders so much she looked like a weightlifter on steroids. As she pulled the cord to start the saw, it slipped out of her hand. She’d never tried to start the saw wearing elbow length rubber gloves before and her hands were sweating profusely inside them. After a couple more attempts, she got the hang of it. She noticed Linda looking over at her hands.
‘You’re obsessed, woman! I got gloves on for Chrissakes. I got ’em on, all right?’ Bella said as she put the chainsaw in the rear of the van.
Linda looked over at Shirley. It wasn’t the fact she hadn’t put on her gloves on yet that angered her. ‘You got eye make-up on! You’ve bloody got eye make-up on!’
‘No, I ain’t!’ Shirley shouted. ‘It’s no sleep and puking makes me look like this.’
As Bella passed Linda she whispered, ‘Lay off her, all right? It’ll only take a couple of seconds to wipe it off.’
‘It ain’t make-up!’ Shirley repeated, moving toward Linda so she could see her close up. ‘Leave me alone — just leave me alone! I’m not stupid.’
Bella stepped between them, ‘Pack it in! You ain’t mad with each other, you’re stressed. But keep a lid on it, yeah?’ Linda put a gentle hand on Shirley’s shoulder; no more words were needed.
Linda opened the driver’s door of the van, climbed in and tucked her shotgun under the passenger seat.
Bella put her arm around Shirley’s shoulders. ‘It’s time for us to go. Dolly will be on her way to her start position. This is it, ladies... you good and ready?’
Shirley nodded, as did Linda. ‘Let’s do it!’
Bella and Shirley heaved open the garage doors for Linda to drive out, then closed and locked them before jumping in the back of the van. None of them noticed that the garage doors where the Alsatian lived were open, nor saw the dark-haired man in the BMW watching them.
Eight months ago to the day, Terry Miller, Joe Pirelli and Jimmy Nunn had driven a van from this very same lock-up to do the very same robbery.
‘Let’s go!’ Terry shouted, and a thumbs-up from Jimmy told him that they were all set. While Jimmy’s hand was in the air, Terry clocked Harry’s watch on his wrist. ‘Bleedin’ ’ell! Nice watch!’
Jimmy turned and smiled. ‘He said he was trading it in for the latest model as soon as this is all over. Suits me, don’t it?’ Jimmy turned his wrist to let the light catch the diamond-encrusted face.
Terry looked at Joe and they both smirked. ‘That’s not the only model Harry’s trading in after this job.’ Terry snickered, nodding toward an oblivious Jimmy. ‘His missus is a right little raver and Jim can’t keep up with her. But Harry can...’
Joe laughed as Jimmy pulled out of the lock-up. ‘A watch in exchange for his bird. Seems like a good deal to me.’