“Get out of here,” he slurred. “Get out of here now, Vicky,” he screamed, his tone full of warning.
“Luc, you are drunk, what happened?” I asked, feeling like my nervous stomach was being tied into knots. This day kept getting worse.
“Vicky, get out of here, I am drunk and dangerous. I don’t want to hurt you,” he said through huffed breaths. His face had reddened and his green eyes were bloodshot. He was angry but it looked like he was trying to maintain his self-control.
“Luc, please talk to me, I’m not scared of you, what is going on?” I urged him to speak as panic enveloped me. Was he relapsing? I didn’t understand.
“Dammit it, you stubborn woman,” he said with a raised voice. Then he took the tumbler and smashed it into the wall behind me. The tumbler shattered into a million pieces of broken glass and I flinched taking a step backward.
His bloodshot eyes looked angry and consumed by a darkness I didn’t understand. I knew he threw the tumbler to scare me away but I wanted to show him that I wasn’t scared, that he wasn’t dangerous.
“Cut it out, Luc, tell me what the hell happened to you,” I demanded. I wasn’t his ex-wife; I knew him and I thought I knew him from the inside out. He said he became a monster when he was drunk. I could see that the alcohol had a negative effect on him, but I wasn’t going to turn my back on him.
“Vicky, leave, I don’t want you here,” he said, pointing his finger at the staircase.
I placed my hand on his arm, to show him I cared, to show him I wasn’t going anywhere but he whipped his arm back violently throwing my arm off. “What the hell has gotten into you?” I asked drawing my brows together. I now felt insulted by him.
“You, Vicky, you have gotten into me and now I need you to leave. I don’t want to be with you,” he said huffing into my face. At that point the blood drained from my face, and I felt like I couldn’t take his shit right now, not today and not ever. This is why I didn’t want to try to be with him, because I knew at the end of the day, I would be the one hurt. I would be the one left alone and today that realization hurt more than anything.
As Luc stood towering over me accentuating how big and bad he was, I relented. “Bye, Luc,” I said looking him squarely in the eyes. When he didn’t respond. I went into his bedroom tiptoeing over the shards of glass and got my things. When I stepped back out of his room he was still sitting in the same place throwing back more amber liquid and looking straight ahead so we wouldn’t make eye contact. Walking down the stairs I felt grim, like I was leaving a part of me behind with each step. I finally opened the front door and left his apartment. By the time I made it back down to the SUV I was a shaky mess. My entire life was crashing down before me, and I didn’t think I would be strong enough to handle the fall out.
“The jet is waiting,” Derek said smiling through his rearview mirror.
“Thank you,” I replied solemnly. As the SUV made its way through the stuffy traffic in New York, I tried to think back to my morning with Luc, but nothing stood out to me as a warning signal. He was so gung-ho about our relationship. He was willing to risk his heart and he was giving me everything he had to offer, which was himself open and true. Things were real and good. I know I wasn’t imagining it.
I sent Joe a text message about Papa and then I put my head back on the headrest and took a few long breaths. My chest felt so tight that it felt like I had forgotten to breathe. As we entered the airport, the SUV got on a side road and then turned onto what looked like a tarmac as it finally came to a stop in front of a gleaming white jet that said Tyson on the side. My mind was saying 'holy crap' on repeat. This was real. As crazy as my life had become, this was definitely an adventure I had never anticipated. I was grateful to Bryce, knowing I would be home to take care of things soon. I would also be forced to face my reality once again. Working at Tyson and riding on a jet, it all felt like an escape to me and it was so welcome.
“Vicky,” Derek said, holding the door open for me. I stepped out of the SUV. “There will be refreshments on board,” he said smiling while passing me my bag.
“Thank you,” I replied.
“You take care of yourself, Vicky,” Derek said with a solemn smile. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you, Derek. Bye.”
I climbed the steps and entered through the side door of the jet.
A blonde stewardess greeted me. “Hello, Miss Molino, I’m Kathy. I will be in charge of your in-flight service. Right this way, you can choose a seat or there is a bedroom at the back of the plane through the door on your left.” She motioned with a bright smile.
Before I had come to New York I had read a lot about Bryce on the Internet and I had seen the Tyson Towers and I knew how rich and powerful he was, but the jet somehow made the idea hit home.
“Thank you, Kathy, I will just take a seat up front,” I said getting into one of the chairs. The plane was beautiful with white leather seats and dark wood moldings.
“Sure, hon,” she replied with a smile. “You will want to buckle up, we are scheduled for take-off in five minutes and flight time is two hours.” I nodded my head and did up my seatbelt. Had the circumstances been different I may have enjoyed this adventure. Kathy walked off to the front of the plane, and I stared out the window as the plane reversed, and then picked up speed as we took off. I tried to close my eyes and get some rest but I was overtaken by anguish. Everything kept slipping through my fingers all at once: my father dying, Luc falling into some dark hole. I tried to make sense of what could possibly cause him to drink. He was right; alcohol did bad things to him. He managed to scare me, especially when he whipped the glass against the wall. Nonetheless, I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that he had complete control. That he made himself out to be a monster to push me away. I just didn’t understand, why now? After all that we shared and had been through, why was he pushing me away? His rejection had stung right through my heart.
***
Two hours later I was exiting the jet on a small tarmac in Thunder Bay. I didn’t even know that this little airport existed. It wasn’t meant to handle the commercial airlines, only local plane flyers. Bryce was right when he said he could get me home much faster. As I got off the plane, a cab was waiting for me. Bryce really thought of everything. Luc was right to say that he was a kind man. The cab driver took me to the home I grew up in. The home that had been filled with happy memories once, a home that was now empty and lifeless. As I walked through the front door, I felt overcome with loneliness and dread. I pictured my mother walking down the stairs at any moment and my father reading the paper at the kitchen table. The ghosts of them haunted me. As I turned to enter the kitchen, I heard the door creak open behind me, I startled and turned my head.
My eyes went wide and my heart warmed. “Joe, you’re here,” I said taking fast strides toward him before wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Yeah, Vick, I just can’t believe it,” he said shaking his head. His eyes were red. I could tell he’d been crying. Papa was not my biological father, but I loved him all the same even with all of his mistakes.
“I know Joe, I knew he was headed down a bad road but I didn’t expect things to unravel so quickly.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean, Marie called me a couple weeks ago…”
“You answered the phone for Marie?” I asked, sounding wounded.
“I knew something was wrong if she was calling. I knew you were just calling to talk everyday…” he answered hesitantly. He winced before I even had a chance to rebut.
“You saw my daily phone calls and you didn’t have the courtesy to say a small hello. 'Hey, Vicky, I’m alive no worries'…something, Joe, dammit.” My voice had raised about ten octaves and I felt my blood boiling. My older brother had always been responsible. I knew he felt just as broken as I did when Mama died. I knew she left him a letter too, but I didn’t know what it said. I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him that she wasn’t his biological mother because she treated him like a son in every way. I would never taint that. I didn’t know what he knew exactly, but I was pissed that he left without staying in touch. That was straight out selfish, he was the only older brother I knew. This wasn’t the time to attack him but we would need to talk soon.