“I’m not going anywhere. Just let it go. Get it all out.” He settled in, pulling her into his arms. The power of it, of letting go and being taken care of, soothed, was nearly overwhelming. And then his magick rose, teasing hers just when she wasn’t sure she was capable of even the most basic of spells.
She didn’t have the energy to hold him back and hold herself together at the same time. His power was warm and wild, it seemed to rush through her veins, teasing her senses, enticing, seducing.
She opened her eyes to peek at him and found him staring at her, a look of wonder stamped on his features.
“I never expected you.”
“What?” She wiped her face with the edge of her sleeve. No doubt she was red and puffy and her hair was a mess because she had jammed it into a ponytail after her shower.
“You’re more than I ever imagined you’d be.” He snorted, leaning close to kiss each eyelid. “So tender. You take so much on and you do it with such power and ability that no one would know how fragile you are just underneath.”
“Great. On top of everything else, I’m fragile.”
“No. Helena, you’re magnificent. You’re the finest female I have ever beheld in my entire existence. And believe me, I’ve seen a lot in many worlds. You are strong. Righteous. Courageous. Today, you nearly killed me when you pulled that spell together. But you did it and you did it because that’s what you do. You protected your people and even those humans who’d just been insulting you because you’re that person.”
She closed her eyes, willing the newly sprung tears to go away.
“It is all right to cry sometimes. You don’t need to hide in the shower, or pretend to be above it. It doesn’t make you less of a warrior.”
Her eyes snapped open.
“Yes, I heard you that night at my house. And it broke my heart because you are so strong and yet, you don’t think you can lean on anyone else. Just for a little while.” He tipped her chin so she was looking into his eyes. “You can lean on me. You can cry and know I respect you. You can cry and know I’ve fallen apart a little after a battle like the one you’ve been waging for months. Everyone has to break a little or they’ll break all the way.”
“Why?”
He thumbed her tears away and she was instantly sorry she’d asked because she wasn’t sure she could handle the answer.
“I think you know. But that’s all right, I’ll give you the words because I need to say them out loud. Make my declaration.”
Declaration?
He laughed at her reaction. “Scared?”
“You’re sort of scary.”
His grin made her less afraid of what he’d say and more interested in what he’d look like naked.
“I’m very scary. But not to you. I want you to lean on me because I want you. I want all of you, Helena Jaansen. Since the first time I met you I knew you were special. And everything I’ve seen since has only confirmed that. I thought it was a passing fancy at first. You’re beautiful and powerful. A male like me finds those qualities fairly irresistible.” He grinned again and she groaned.
He stole a kiss and with it her breath.
“I was in Seattle and with Molly while you had your own job to do, but then our paths kept crossing. And I got to know you. I saw through your prickly demeanor and the quite frankly bizarre way you keep all your clothes and shoes color coordinated and arranged according to length, height, whatever. You’re trying to control things in a world utterly out of control. And you are doing it with all your might and that, Helena, is why I cannot get you out of my head. You are singular. You are the female I was meant to find and love.”
“Love? Listen here, buster, I have a horrible track record with love. Also I’ve only known you a few months.”
“That witch you were engaged to was a fool. It doesn’t mean you have a horrible track record. It means you hadn’t found the right male until now. As far as being too soon to love you? Pah.”
She laughed, unable to resist being delighted. “Pah?”
“Pah.” He nodded his head once. “You’re a thing of light and magick. You are not human. Don’t cling to what they can’t see because they refuse to look with something other than their eyes. I’m not human. I’m not young or inexperienced either. I’ve loved before. And that love wasn’t anything compared to what you make me feel every time I think about you. Months I’ve watched you fight. I’ve watched you give orders. I’ve watched you make passionate arguments about things you believed in. I’ve watched you protect and defend and I’ve watched you break apart when you couldn’t save people. It’s so intimate, that glimpse I get every once in a while when your defenses are down and you let me in. I know what I feel. I know what I want. I want you. And I know you want me. I know how you watch me. I tasted your desire when you kissed me. Each time you’ve kissed me. There’s no reason to pretend otherwise. It’s a waste of time.”
She struggled to keep up. Struggled to make sense of how she felt. Of the truth in his words and her bone-deep fear that if she trusted them she’d end up hurt far worse than anything she’d ever felt before.
Fear that she’d fail at this like she’d failed those witches at the haven.
He was different. On every level. She knew from Lark that Lycian males put the alpha in alpha male. That was a lot to manage, even if it came in a package that looked as good as the one looming over her, blanketing her in all those feel-good hormones that were designed to part a girl from her underpants.
“You can’t run scared from me, you know. First, you’re too dominant for that. Second, you’re too honest for it. Third, I’m a predator and that only makes you hotter to me.” A flash of his grin and though she was going to groan she only managed a breathy sound. “Last, you’re a highly sensual being and you know just exactly how it will be between us physically.”
Her heart stuttered as he traced a fingertip down her chest, between her breasts, down to her belly button, circling it slowly.
“And because you feel it too. This magnetic thing between us. This thread that pulls us together each time we’re near each other.”
She opened her mouth to deny it but couldn’t. She was drawn to him on so many levels.
His smile changed and tightened things low in her belly. “I locked the door. And I think I know something else that will help you get your energy back up.”
She gulped.
“I know this momentary reprieve from your bossiness is just that—temporary. So I figure it’s best to divest you of your clothing before you start arguing.”
Chapter 10
HE waited to see if she was on board and she didn’t argue, thank the heavens.
She was hurt and he wanted to go slow, reined himself in the best he could as he got to his knees and started to pull his shirt off.
But he should have known Helena would have her own ideas. Quicker than he’d expected, she grabbed his wrist, moving to get to her knees facing him. “No. I want to.”
She leaned in close, breathing him in at his neck, sending gooseflesh skittering over his skin. After he’d laid himself bare before her, after he’d seen those walls of hers break and the tears come, he needed this more than he could articulate. Needed to connect with her on a whole new level.
“Have at it.” Even to his own ears, his words were breathy and a little shaky. She rendered him into a nervous, needy mass. Even with Lydia it hadn’t been like this.
She pulled his shirt up and off, tossing it to the side, skimming her palms over his chest. “I love these.” She pressed kisses over his marks. “Four hundred years of your life, all over your skin.”