“I loved her. Very much. But she was not my Ne’est. This thing between us—the thing Seymeon and Lark have—it’s forever. There are many kinds of love. Surely you know this. What I felt for her was deep. And she’s someone I’m glad to have had in my life. I miss her even to this day. But you? I need you like I need to breathe. You’re who I think about when I open my eyes in the morning. I not only can imagine you in my life a hundred years from now, I want to. I knew there was another level of love. I see it with my parents. I see it with Simon and Lark. I feel it now. I understand it now. Are you afraid you don’t love me that deeply? Or are you afraid you aren’t worthy of such a gift? Be honest now.”
Why did he have to be so freaking in tune with her? He was so raw, so emotionally truthful with her that it made it impossible to evade his questions. “I’m freaked the fuck out that I’ll let you down.”
He kissed her and she wrapped herself around him, holding on tight, reveling in the feel of his body against hers.
He lifted her, taking her to the bed and putting her down carefully. “It’s okay to be worried about that. I worry about that too. If we weren’t worried, if we took it for granted, our bond would be meaningless, right?”
“I’m bad at this.”
He shook his head. “I already told you that boy you were engaged to isn’t the same. Tell me truly, Helena. Did you ever feel for him the way you feel for me now?”
“Not a fair comparison. You’re a man. You’re big and braw. So sexy it gives me butterflies and makes me think about sex at the most inopportune times like while I’m driving or in a meeting. You distract me and make me laugh. You fight so well I want to start a fan club and make you teach me everything you know so I can be better. Though, you also make me want to give you a chop to the throat to shut you up.”
He laughed. “So much flattery.”
“I did punch him. My ex, I mean. Right in his mouth when he called Lark a stupid whore. Imagine that! But while I was sad that our engagement was over, it was more that I was angry at myself for failing. And embarrassed that everyone knew it. He never gave me butterflies. I never thought, Faine will know how to deal with this. Well, obviously with his name instead of yours. I never counted on him. I’m older. Hell, it feels like the Magister aged us all at least ten years. But you’re four hundred years old and you’ve been married and you have so much more experience at everything than I do and I don’t know if I can be as good at this as you are.”
He laid next to her, pulling her closer and she went. “I’m as new as you are at this sort of love. We’ll have to make it through and trust each other. Will you then? Admit you’re my Ne’est and go through the binding with me?”
“One step at a time. How about yes, I admit that what this is between us is deep and strong and whatever you want to call it. The binding part can come in a bit. I need to get used to it. I’m a control-freak planner. I need to know exactly what it is and what it means. I haven’t even met your parents yet. My dad thinks you’re too old for me.”
He laughed. “I am. But too bad. He’ll have to accept me. I’m nicer than Simon and he gave them his blessing on their binding.”
“Fathers are not always rational when it comes to daughters.”
“I suppose I’ll find out one day. But for now, we should practice.”
He stole her breath as he grabbed the front of her blouse and pulled it apart. Buttons went flying and she couldn’t find any energy to be mad that he’d destroyed a favorite shirt.
He bent his head and pressed a kiss against the curve of her breast, over her heart. He was hot, radiating waves of warmth against her bare skin.
She managed to drag in a breath. “Is that why you’re always so hot then?”
“Mmm?” He traced the edge of her bra with his tongue and she nearly forgot her question.
“Your demon half. Is that why you’re so hot?”
“Ah. Yes. In part. Lycians already run a great deal warmer than humans do. When I’m . . . excited, I get even hotter.”
She managed to lever her legs and get on top of him, straddling his body with hers. “I noticed you were warm. You know, when we were together yesterday.” Had it only been a day? So much had changed. “Lark mentioned Simon’s skin was warm, I just figured it was . . . well. Anyway.”
“Are you going to share details of our sex life with your sister?” Nimble fingers parted her with her bra.
“Maybe. We’re very competitive. Only the good stuff, of course.”
He flipped her to her back and stripped her pants, weapons, socks and underwear from her body in record time. She lay there totally naked, nearly panting as he looked down at her with so much naked hunger in his gaze it sent a shiver through her.
“It’s not all good stuff? I must be falling down on the job.” He said it in a low growl of sound that crawled along her skin like a rough caress.
“So far the only bad thing is that I’m naked and you aren’t.”
In a flurry of movement he got rid of his clothes and dived back to the bed, making her laugh.
“How’s my scorecard now?” He licked over her left nipple.
“All tens.”
He laughed, kissing his way over to her right nipple. “Yes, all tens indeed.”
She pushed his shoulders. “I want you on your back.”
He gave her a raised brow. “Is that so?”
“I’ll make it worth your while.”
He rolled, bringing her with him.
“I have no doubt you’ll make it worth my while. You’re infuriating in your ability to get yourself into trouble in every way imaginable, but you’re perfect in my bed. However you’re in it.”
“Man, you’re good with the compliments.” She bent and whipped her hair against his chest, loving the way he groaned as she dragged it across his skin. She kissed a trail over all his marks. Over his ink and his scars. Over all that muscle. He tasted so right.
She scooted back, kissing her way down his belly, pausing to really take in just how ridiculous it was. “Are you doing like eight thousand crunches a day in secret? I’ve exercised with you and my stomach doesn’t look like this.” She licked over each of those six bands of muscle.
“Your stomach isn’t supposed to.”
He hissed when she grabbed his cock at the root and pumped her fist a few times.
“I have some suggestions about what you could do with that. If you like.”
She bent, licking over the head and around the crown. “Like this?”
“That’ll do, gods yes.”
Helena took her time, learning him. Getting to know the feel of him and what he liked. His thigh was hard against her palms as she kept her balance. He had great legs. Powerful thighs leading to a fabulous ass.
“Okay, enough,” he said with a snarl and she landed on her back.
“Hey! I wasn’t done.”
She swallowed her next sentence as he kissed his way over belly, licking over each of her hip bones and the sensitive hollow there. And then he spread her thighs wide, kissing from the knee up to the seam where her leg met the rest of her body.
She slid her fingers through his hair, tugging upward. Wanting more.
He took a lick and then one more. Another. The heat of his mouth against her clit so good it was nearly too much. But he didn’t stop. He stretched her with clever fingers and that mouth of his, driving her so hard she nearly sobbed. She arched, wanting more, but he drove her to the edge and backed off. Time and again, the cad!
“Please,” she whispered.
He hummed his pleasure then, moving back to her clit, staying there with little licks and sucks until she flew apart so hard she was still coming as he began to slide into her body.