steaming.“
He nodded. „Many of us will take turns coming in to tend
it.“
Silver turned back to Etaine and smiled. „Why don’t we
undress you and wrap you in a blanket the way we did the last
time? That will make you feel much freer.“ She quickly began
to take off the child’s spangled pink finery. She experienced
another ripple of rage as she had a sudden mental picture of
how Etaine must have looked facing the lions tonight.
Monteith always deliberately tried to accentuate his daughter’s
youth and childish vulnerability when she performed. He must
have been very pleased tonight, Silver thought savagely.
Etaine’s illness gave her an air of fragility, almost a
transparency that was unbearably touching. „Sebastien!“
Sebastien paused at the entrance of the tent.
„Keep Monteith away from here tonight.“
He hesitated and for an instant she saw the fear that was
always present at any mention of defiance of Monteith. Then
Sebastien nodded with determination. „We’ll find a way.“
Khadil helped Silver undress and wrap Etaine in the
blanket and then sat back on her heels. „I have to leave now.
Monteith always checks the sideshow and my friends won’t be
able to fool him for much longer.“
„That’s fine, I won’t need you any more tonight,“ Silver
said. „Etaine is going to be fine.“
Khadil frowned, her eyes with their pink irises and red
pupils fixed worriedly on Etaine. „I’ll try to come back later if
you – “
„No.“ Silver tried to smother the exasperation she was
feeling. They all meant well, but their love for Etaine was so
deep that these attacks frightened them as much as they did the
child, and fear fed upon fear. „Leave us alone.“
Khadil nodded uncertainly, her wild mane of pure white
hair shining in the firelight. „Good night, Etaine.“
Etaine’s thin face was suddenly lit by a loving smile as she
gazed at the albino. „It’s… all right, Khadil. Don’t be…
afraid.“
„Hush.“ Silver motioned for Khadil to leave and settled
down beside Etaine, gathering the child into her arms. She
began to stroke the silky crop of fair curls, slowly and
rhythmically. They were silent for a long time, and Silver
gradually felt the tension that locked Etaine’s muscles begin to
ease and her breathing grow more steady.
„It’s getting better,“ Etaine said, nestling closer. „I was
afraid I…“
„It’s bad for you to be afraid. It makes the breathing much
worse. Now relax and think of pleasant things.“
„Heaven?“ Etaine tried to laugh. „I was wondering…
before you came… about heaven. I thought this time…“
„Not heaven,“ Silver said firmly. „You’re not going to see
heaven for a long, long time. You’ve had these attacks before,
and this is just another one. Maybe a little worse.“
Etaine nodded. „Worse. Why?“
Silver was silent a moment. „I don’t know, Etaine. I don’t
know why you have to suffer. Perhaps it won’t always be this
way. I have heard that some children grow out of lung
afflictions.“ If they lived long enough. The thought brought
panic in its wake, and she quickly blocked the emotion. She
mustn’t be afraid or Etaine would sense it and grow tense
again. She could often talk the child through attacks like these
if she could get her to relax. „A dry climate seems to help.
Doctors send many people to heal in the land where I was
born. Living here beside the river can’t be good for you.“
„We’ll move on… soon. My father says the pickings are
getting poor here.“
Silver experienced a swift thrust of pain. She had known
the circus would not remain here forever, but the news still
came as a shock. She would miss them all so much. Sebastien,
Khadil, Bruno the Strong Man, Etaine. No, not Etaine. She had
plans for Etaine.
„Tell me about Killara, Silver.“ Etaine’s lids had closed
again and her breathing was becoming less harsh with every
passing moment. „Tell me about your cousins… Patrick and
Brianne and about… Rising Star. Am I really like Rising
Star?“
„Yes.“ Silver gently stroked the blue-veined delicacy of
Etaine’s temples. „Not in appearance. My aunt was Apache,
like me, but you remind me of her.“ Strength and fragility,
gentleness and a joyous love of life that touched everyone
around her. „I miss her very much. She loved me.“
„Of course,“ Etaine said simply. „Everyone loves you,
Silver.“
Silver burst out laughing. „You’re mistaken, Etaine. I’m
not at all lovable.“
Etaine’s lids opened. „Then why do I love you?“
Silver gave the child a quick hug. „Because you love
everyone. Someday you’ll wake up and see me as I am.“
„I don’t love… everyone. Sometimes I feel very wicked.“
Silver knew to whom the child was referring. How the hell
could even a daughter love a monster like Paul Monteith?
„You’re not wicked. Some people aren’t worth loving.“ She
smiled down at her. „Do you think you can go to sleep now?“
„Pretty soon.“ Etaine’s breathing was almost normal now,
and her words were slightly slurred. „You won’t leave right
away? I always feel safe with you. I was so frightened before
when I couldn’t breathe.“
Silver swallowed to ease the tightness of her throat. „I
know, Etaine. I don’t have to leave for a long, long time. Now,
close your eyes.“
In a few moments the child was asleep and Silver let out a
deep sigh of relief. The attack was over. Tomorrow Etaine
would be weak and exhausted, but in a few days she would be
well again.
Until the next attack.
Silver knew a chill of terror that was quickly superseded by
determination. Etaine mustn’t be here when the next attack
occurred. She must be at Killara, where she could be cared for.
There had to be some way to get Monteith to relinquish
custody of Etaine. He had no affection for her. Hell, he had no
affection for anyone. She shivered as she remembered the last
confrontation she’d had with the man. There was something
terribly evil about Monteith, something not at all as it should
be…. She would wire Patrick and ask him for help. Mpnteith
appeared to be a greedy enough bastard; perhaps if Patrick
offered him a great deal of money…
She sighed wearily and tried to relax. Yes, perhaps Patrick
could help. Etaine would be happy at Killara, as Silver had
never been. She was a golden child and she would be accepted
by the family as one of them.
Her cousin, Patrick, had done everything he could to make
his grandfather and grandmother treat Silver as a true Delaney,
but he could not make them give her affection.
She had already resolved not to return to Killara, but the
ties that bound her to the ranch were too strong to sever
entirely. There were too many years, too many memories, too
many dreams invested in Killara to walk away from it and not
look back. Maybe she could settle somewhere close by and see
Etaine now and then, it would be sweet to watch her grow
strong and healthy and free of fear.
She was growing drowsy but she mustn’t sleep. The
carriage would return for her in a few hours to take her back to
the academy, and she had promised Patrick the last time she
had been expelled that she would try to avoid another scene
with Mrs. Alford. It was all very stupid. There were so many
foolish rules. How could any woman live smothered under so
many rules and with as many simpered platitudes ringing in