Then came the day when she was to visit the Lowells’ town house. A note had been delivered to her from Sir Ralph.
He wrote:
My dear daughter-to-be,
I cannot express the delight I felt when I heard from my son that you had agreed to marry him. I have always admired you so much and there is no one I would rather welcome into the family.
I want Reginald to bring you to see me, so that the three of us can have a little talk together. He will call for you at eight of the clock tomorrow evening. Just a family affair, one might say. Then we can plan how we shall make the announcement.
So humour me in this. There is so much I wish to say to you.
From one whose joy it will be to become
Your Father,
Ralph Lowell.
‘He sounds as though he is pleased,’ I said when Sabrina showed me the note.
‘I think the stories about him have been highly exaggerated,’ replied Sabrina.
‘I thought he was unkind to Reggie.’
‘Quite a lot of fathers are,’ she retorted with feeling.
She would judge for herself, and for the occasion she would wear a very lovely gown in pink silk, cut from the waist to show a petticoat very finely embroidered beneath. The bodice was tight-fitting and rather low-cut and she looked exquisite in it.
I said: ‘You need something to cover your shoulders.’ I went to a drawer and brought out the seed-pearl-decorated stole. I draped it round her shoulders. The silver-grey of the stole and the delicacy of the pearls enhanced her gown. I had never seen the stole look so beautiful as it did on her that night.
She was full of confidence in the future. She was going to marry Reggie and make him a happy man; and this night she would face his father.
At precisely eight o’clock the carriage arrived. A footman knocked at the door. Sabrina was waiting. From an upper window I saw her get into the carriage and drive away. Not for a moment did it occur to me that the happenings of this night would affect us all so bitterly.
Lance was at the club and I was trying not to picture him at the card table, that intense look on his face as he gambled away… heaven knew what.
I preferred not to think of him. Instead I was thinking of Sabrina, about to marry and go away from us. So it happened. One day Zipporah’s turn would come. It was heartbreaking to lose those one had loved and cherished through their childhood, when one had been the most important person in their lives. But there must come the time when it was necessary to slip back and hand over the loved one to a husband.
Zipporah was young yet, but I was already beginning to wonder how much longer I should keep even her with me.
I should be rejoicing though in Sabrina’s happiness… if happiness it was. She was like a nun dedicated to a mission. She was marrying for pity. However, I must accept the fact that it was what she wanted and when she had set her mind on something she would never diverge from it.
I settled down to read. It must have been nearly two hours after the carriage had left when she came back. She was wrapped in an old cloak which she had certainly not been wearing when she left the house. She came into my bedroom and as she threw off the cloak I saw that her bodice was ripped open; her skirt was torn; there was a bruise on her neck and her face was the colour of parchment.
‘Sabrina!’ I cried.
She flung herself into my arms. She was sobbing and I could not quieten her.
‘Clarissa… Oh Clarissa,’ she murmured. ‘It was dreadful… dreadful… He’s dead. I didn’t do it. I swear I didn’t do it. It… it happened.’
‘Sabrina, my dearest, try to be calm. Tell me what happened.’
‘It was… that man…’
‘You mea… Sir Ralph?’
She nodded. ‘It was terrible, Clarissa. I fought him and I was getting exhausted. I couldn’t hold him off… He seemed so strong… I kicked… I screamed… I fought with all my might and then… Oh, Clarissa, I didn’t do it. It wasn’t my fault. It… it just happened…’
I went to the cupboard where Lance kept his brandy. I poured out a little and gave it to her. Her teeth were chattering so that she could not drink and her hands were shaking so that she could not hold the goblet.
‘Now tell me, Sabrina, tell me right from the beginning.’
She sat staring ahead as though she were still living in the nightmare. ‘When I got into the carriage,’ she said, ‘Reggie was not there.’
‘I saw you go and I thought it was strange that he had not got out to help you into the carriage.’
‘I didn’t think much of it until I arrived at the house. A housekeeper was there but there was no sign of Reggie. She said that Sir Ralph was waiting for me and she took me up to a room. She knocked at the door. There was no answer. Then she opened the door and I went in. It was a bedroom. There was a four-poster bed… I thought the housekeeper had made a mistake and I was about to say so when the door shut behind me and I was suddenly seized. It was that man… oh, Clarissa, how can I tell you? I was so frightened. He was so strong… and he was holding me.’
‘My dear child, this is terrible. I should never have let you go alone. I thought Reggie was taking you.’
‘So did I. But that man had planned it. He was waiting for me. It was awful. He said he had always wanted me. He said it would be in the family and there should be love between father and daughter… I tried to get away. I went to the window. I think I would have jumped out if I could. But he was there behind me. He had taken off the robe he was wearing. He was naked, Clarissa. It was… horrible. He pulled me down on the bed. He tore my bodice and my skirt…’
Again she turned to me and hid her face against me as though to shut out that terrible scene.
‘He said I was a vixen… but he liked vixens. He said there was more excitement when the girl was unwilling. He said horrible things… and he was leering at me all the time, licking his lips… his horrible flabby blue lips. I fought hard, Clarissa, but he was stronger than I was and I was afraid that he was going to win.’ She shuddered and shut her eyes tightly. ‘He was cursing me… and laughing at me… and tearing at my clothes—and then suddenly I felt his grip loosen. I had my hand over his mouth… shutting off those horrible lips… I could not bear the sight of them. And then… he wasn’t holding me any more. His face had gone blue and he was breathing in a noisy way. I was able to push him away from me… and he rolled off the bed and lay very still on the floor. His breathing had stopped and his eyes were wide open… staring. For a moment I couldn’t understand what had happened. Then I knew… He was dead.’
‘You came back home. That was all there was to do.’
‘But him… Clarissa. I left him there. I found this cloak. Perhaps it is his. I had to have something to cover myself up. I took it without thinking. I ran out of the house. I saw a chairman going by and he brought me here. I had just enough money still in my girdle reticule to pay him. Oh, Clarissa, what will happen?’
‘Nothing. You have done nothing wrong. It was his own fault. You are not responsible for his death. But are you sure he is dead? He might have fallen into a faint… or something like that.’
‘He was not breathing. I was sure of it. Clarissa, I was so frightened. I just ran…’
I soothed her. ‘Let me get you out of these things. I’ll take you to your bed. I’ll get something for you to drink. Something that will soothe you. Nanny Curlew will know what is best.’
She clung to me. ‘I could only think of you,’ she said. ‘How to get to you… How to be safe.’