R2-D2
—Hoo.
[They approach the door of Jabba’s palace.
C-3PO
—And now we have arriv’d.
But art thou sure this is the place, R2?
Mayhap ’tis best if I do knock? [ He knocks.]
Alas,
There’s none to see us in, so let us go!
Enter GUARD DROID on the other side of door.
DROID
[ aside:] Now here’s a knocking, indeed! If a droid
Were porter of the Force here in this place,
He should have rust for lack of turning key.
I pray, remember the poor porter droid.
[ To C-3PO and R2-D2:] N’getchoo gadda gooda, einja meh.
C-3PO
My goodness! What foul greeting’s this? [ To droid:] R2-D2wah.
DROID
—Haku! Danna mee bicchu.
C-3PO
Bo C-3POwah, ey.
DROID
—Ai waijay uh.
C-3PO
Odd toota mischka Jabba o du Hutt.
DROID
Kuju gwankee? Mypee gaza, ho ho!
C-3PO
Methinks they shall not let us in, what shame!
Still, well may it be said that we have tried,
For never would I give up easily
When sent forth on a task by Master Luke.
Yet we have tried and were refusèd here,
Thus, who could blame us for departing hence?
Let us depart now, aye, together fly!
[The door opens.
O pity, it doth open and release
Mine utmost fears. Now must we venture in.
R2-D2
[ aside:] My friend C-3PO was never for
His courage known. So shall I lead, as e’er
I have been wont to lead, into this place
Although I too feel fear. [ To C-3PO:] Beep, whistle, squeak!
C-3PO
O, R2, wait for me! O dear! We should
Not rush, like fools, unto this scene. O my!
Enter GAMORREAN GUARDS and Bib Fortuna.
BIB
Tay chuda! Nuh die wanna wanga?
C-3PO
—O!
Die wanna waugow. [ Translating:] “We bring unto thy
Dread master Jabba of the Hutt a message.”
BIB
E Jabba wanga?
R2-D2
—Squeak!
C-3PO
—[ translating:] “A gift as well.”
[ To R2-D2:] Wait, R2, pray, what dost thou mean, “a gift”?
Good Master Luke hath spoken not of “gift.”
R2-D2
Beep, whistle, meep.
BIB
—Nee Jab’ no badda; ees
Eye oh toe. Zah kotah amutti mi’.
R2-D2
Beep, meep, nee, whistle, hoo.
C-3PO
—He doth report
That we are not to give the message to
A soul, save Jabba of the Hutt himself.
G. GUARD 1
Grrf, mik.
C-3PO
—Pray, patience; he quite stubborn is
When fac’d with matters such as these.
BIB
—Nudd chaa!
[Bib Fortuna motions for the droids to follow.
C-3PO
R2, I feel a shaking in my core
O’er this dread situation we are in.
Enter Jabba of THE HUTT, BOBA FETT, the MAX REBO BAND, SALACIOUS CRUMB, LANDO OF CALRISSIAN in disguise, and other members of Jabba’s court.
Jabba
Ahho, nee jann bah naska ahho bah.
BIB
Kada no pase.
C-3PO
—Good morning.
R2-D2
—Beep, meep, squeak!
BIB
Neh bo shuhadda mana.
Jabba
—Ahh, shihu.
C-3PO
I prithee, R2, play the message now.
The sooner we’ll be on our merry way.
Jabba
Bo shuda!
R2-D2
—Beep, meep, whistle.
Enter LUKE SKYWALKER, in beam.
Luke
—Greetings, O
Exalted Jabba of the Hutt. Allow
Me to make introduction unto thee:
My name is Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight
And friend to Captain Solo, who e’en now
Is in thy custody. I know that thou
Art powerful, O Jabba, and that thy
Great anger t’ward Han Solo equally
Must pow’rful be. I seek an audience
With thy esteem’d and mighty personage,
To bargain for my friend Han Solo’s life.
With thy vast wisdom we shall, doubtless, find
A goodly compromise that shall, indeed,
Be mutually beneficial, and
Allow both you and I to ’scape a more
Unpleasant confrontation. As a sign
And symbol of my honest will, I do
Present unto thee, as a gift, these droids.
They are hardworking, and shall serve thee well.
C-3PO
Alas, what hath he said?
R2-D2
—Beep, whistle, meep!
C-3PO
Nay, nay! R2, I say, your message errs!
Our master never would betray us so!
Crumb
O foolish droids, whose master fools them so!
BIB
[ to Jabba:] Na maska bagweni, ees no Jedi.
Jabba
Ha ono wangee goghpah, ool.
C-3PO
—We’re doom’d!
He will not bargain with good Master Luke.
Jabba
Nuh peecha wangee cogh pah, tong nam nee
Took chan kee troi. Ne Solo fah keechwa.
C-3PO
O, R2, look, ’tis Captain Solo, still
A’frozen in the carbonite.
R2-D2
—Beep, hoo!
Crumb
A little more than dud and less than dead.
Jabba
Na pushka nab, de foghla pah nubin!
Enter EV-9D9 , a droid, as Gamorrean guards lead C-3PO and R2-D2 to him.
C-3PO
O what hath come upon my master Luke?
Did I offend him by some errant word?
Was he disturb’d by something I have said?
Or is this but a human’s changing whim?
Belike I’ll never fully comprehend
These people and their wayward, shifting ways.
One moment with my service is he pleas’d,
The next he sendeth me away in scorn
To serve the gangster Jabba of the Hutt.
Grant me thy mercy, Sir, I beg of thee—
Whatever my offense, O master true,
I prithee, do forgive C-3PO!