All of a sudden the world seemed to be moving too fast.
“So it's done?” Dar looked almost comically astonished. She slid into the back booth in their favorite little lunch place and rested her hands on the table. “Holy crap.”
“Yeah I ..” Kerry glanced at the waitress. “Usual for me.”
“Me too.” Dar leaned forward as the waitress left. “It was that fast?”
Kerry took a breath and released it. “It's not all the way over. They have to call me for a hearing, but.. I mean, I thought I had to post it up in public and all that but I guess not anymore. Serves me right for trusting the Internet.” She looked across the table as Dar removed her sunglasses, and found herself captivated by her pale eyes. “So I guess now I wait to hear from them, then they sign it and its done.”
Dar grinned. “I sent email to my parents telling them.” She said. “My mom said my dad wants to formally adopt you.”
Kerry blinked. “Can he do that?”
Dar shrugged. “We could check the Internet.” She suggested. “But you know he really loves you. They both do.”
Kerry felt unexpected tears sting her eyes.
“And of course, I do.” Dar added gently. “You look freaked out.”
“I am.”
The waitress came back and delivered two ice teas, and two bowls of soup. She put them down and retreated in silence.
“Why?”
Kerry took a sip of her tea. “You know, I”m not really sure. Could be because I'm due for my period tomorrow.”
“Ah.” Dar reached over and chafed her hand. “We got supplies?”
The talk of something so prosaic and mundane snapped Kerry right out of her funk. She chuckled softly and felt her body relax. “Yeah, I'm good.” She released Dar's hand and picked up her soup spoon. “Dar, would that make me your sister? Because that would be really really weird.”
Her partner started laughing, almost spilling her tea. “I think he just wanted to express the intent, hon.” She said, picking up her soup bowl and drinking directly from it. “He already considers you one of his kids.”
Kerry watched her fondly. “So.” She dipped her spoon into her soup and consumed it in a more conventional manner. “So what made you decide on pulling back your resignation? Was it something someone said, or...”
Dar paused to think about it, setting her bowl down. “Yeah.” She said. “Something Alastair said stuck in my monkey brain.” She admitted. “And I was thinking about it while we were down at the cabin, about how walking out right now just didn't feel good to me.”
“Mm.”
“Or it could just be my ego doesn't want to let go of this position.” Dar went on, in a wry tone. “Sometimes I like being me.”
Kerry smiled. “I think you do enjoy it.” She agreed gently. “I enjoy you being you, why shouldn't you have fun with it too?” She finished her soup and pushed the bowl aside. “But Dar, you'll be successful at whatever you end up doing. Don't you want to be your own boss?”
The waitress came back with their lunch and set it down. Dar had her hands folded on the table, and she waited for the woman to leave again. “Do I?” She applied herself to mixing her curry with it's attendant rice. “Yeah, I do. I'd like to be rid of that damn board, and not have to answer to anyone.”
Kerry felt a sense of relief. “That's what I thought.” She said. “I know I would.”
“It's just hard for me to turn my back on the responsibility.” Dar concluded, rested her head on one hand. “And... will I like being a consultant? Just suggesting things without having the ability to make those things happen?”
Oh. Kerry paused in her motion, as the words penetrated. “Huh.” She murmured. “I didn't really think about that.”
“Mm.” Dar sighed. “Occurred to me when Alastair was at our place for dinner. He's sort of in that place, you know? He just has to take crap from everyone but he depends on people like me to make things happen in the right way.”
“Well. We don't have to be consultants. We can make our own super high speed network and sell it to people.” Kerry suggested. “You know you're really good at that.”
Dar tapped her fork against her lips. “You mean, build out infrastructure in direct competition with my own design here?” She responded. “That'd take a lot of money to bootstrap.”
Kerry watched the little twitches shift on her partner's face. “It would.” She agreed. “But we could start just in Florida, and build out as we get customers. Sort of like what you did, with provisioning only where we had clients.”
“Hm.” Dar's eyebrows arched up. “We had a hell of a time finding an alternate datacenter... maybe we can offer that service too. I know we could find someplace on the west side of Dade or Broward to put one in.” She reached over and tweaked Kerry's nose. “I like that idea, partner.”
Kerry munched her peanut chicken in contented silence. It was hard for her to really put her finger on why she was so intent on a life change, but she knew she was, and she really wanted Dar to buy into that. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the sentiments about responsibility, and their staff trusting and needing them. She did. She understood at a gut level the ties that held her partner in place, and why it was hard to break them.
But she was determined to. “You know what I think it is, Dar?”
“Bet I'm about to.” Dar grinned at her.
“You were right. We waited too long.” Kerry concluded “We should have done it in October. Wrapped up everything while everyone was still in a tailspin and gotten out. We gave them a chance to suck us back in.” She glanced up, to see her partner nodding at her. “So we've got to turn that around.”
Dar's pale eyes twinkled a little. “You really want out.”
“I do.”
“I do too. I just feel bad about it. I've been there a long time, and even though I fought with a lot of those people like cats and dogs its still.. “ She paused. “I don't know.”
“They were your family when you didn't have one.” Kerry said, quietly.
Dar stopped eating and lowered her fork, gazing at Kerry in silence for a long moment.
“Weren't they?” Kerry asked, into all that quiet. “I mean, not Jose or Elanor, but Maria, and Mark, and Duks and Mari?” She stopped eating as well, and waited, wincing a little as she reviewed her words and wondered if she'd insulted Dar without meaning to.
“As much as I'd let them, yeah.” Dar finally said. “Boy that hit a spot.”
“Sorry.” Kerry reached over and touched her arm. “I didn't mean to bum you out, sweetheart. Maybe I should have just brought you back something.”
Dar smiled, after a brief pause. “No, you didn't.. I was just thinking about.. the year I guess before you came into my life I remember going to the office over Christmas for some stupid broken thing and walking in and finding a bunch of little presents on my desk.”
“Mm?”
“Just little stuff. Candies and whatever.” Dar said. “With no name on them. Just a random kindness and.. when you said that I remembered it. I still don't know who put them there.”
“Could have been the cleaning staff.” Kerry felt the tension in her guts relax. “Could have been ops.”
“Could have.”
“Could have been the security guards.”
“That's true too, so maybe you've got a point.” Dar concluded. “I've been there a lot longer than you have.”
“Yeah.” Kerry sighed. “I'm just being a jerk today. Maybe I should go home.”
“Let's both go home.” Dar suggested readily. “Screw it. You got anything on your schedule for this afternoon?”