Liddy grabbed her toiletry bag from her locker and walked into the bathroom. She looked at Louise as she passed, and her sister-friend saw a sad emptiness in her face. At the sink, Liddy turned on the water full blast and let it splash every which way. And when she scooped some water up to her face, she tossed it with such abandon that it dripped off her hair and her nightgown. She felt the need to be completely wet, so she whipped off her gown and underpants and let everything fall to the floor at the sink and turned on the shower. She stood under the spray and rotated slowly several times. Rumors—usually false? Usually true? Engaged?
Liddy knew that forbidden relationships blossomed on the base. There were looks between instructors or military men and trainees, everyone saw them. And not long after Calli went home, one of the gals from the senior class left for the same reason, but she wasn’t married and left quietly. No baby shower. And not long after that, Instructor Carl Paxton’s name disappeared from the flight boards and trainees were reassigned to new instructors, and there were rumors. But Major Reid Trent and Jenna Law—Maybe—Probably.
Rumors—Liddy didn’t like that word. She never thought about it before, but she didn’t like it at all. What are you supposed to do with a rumor? They should be completely ignored, but that never happened. They make a place for themselves in the room of possible truths and just lounge around, snickering and daring you to figure them out. What nasty little things—Rumors.
Liddy let the water run on her face, until she couldn’t breathe, and held there until she gasped for air. She did that several times and then thought, That’s enough of that and turned off the water. She didn’t dry off with a towel, she just slipped into her nightgown and let the cotton soak up the wetness and plaster itself onto her skin like transparent wallpaper. She tossed her underpants in her locker and went to bed.
The next morning, Liddy made her way through the chow line and was walking across the mess to join her friends at a table. Jenna Law was clearing her tray when she spotted Liddy and trotted to catch up with her. “Hey, Hall,” Liddy kept walking. “Hey, I’m sorry about Calli. She was a good pilot.”
“There goes your graduation rate.”
“Let up, Hall. This isn’t a competition.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“Hey, look, I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. My fault I guess. I’d like to—”
Just then, a distressed trainee burst into the cafeteria and ignited the spread of some news. With ever-increasing momentum the tension in the room billowed, until everyone rushed out the door.
One of trainees and her instructor had gone down and been killed. Trainees, instructors and staff had gathered at the flight line, and a tearful commotion was brewing. Although the WASP program had one of the best safety records in the Army, military pilots were killed on and off the battle field, and WASPs were no exception. At least one woman a month was killed in training or while out flying their command, but this was the first one that was killed on the base since Liddy’s class had arrived. Liddy and Louise tried to keep Bet and Marina calm, while they waited for news.
Joy Lynn parted her way through the crowd. “It was Ruby. They don’t know why, but she spun in on the other side of the auxiliary field.” Joy Lynn gulped to catch her breath. “Today’s training, including solos, are still happening.”
Bet and Marina both sobbed, and a deep pain filled Liddy’s chest. Bet looked desperately up at her as she wiped her face and nose with the side of her hand. Liddy set her face in front of Bet’s. “Listen, what happened, it’s terrible, but it happened and there’s nothing…” Liddy swallowed hard and a lump caught in her throat. “… nothing’s gonna change it. We’re soloing today, let’s grease it.”
Liddy had known a lot of pilots in her life, but Ruby was the first one she knew who was killed in a plane. It took every bit of Liddy’s strength to keep her emotions in check.
Major Trent walked onto the line with Captain Charles and some of the senior class, including Jenna Law. One of her friends had been killed and still, jealousy found a place in Liddy. What is wrong with me? She asked herself. She left the others and walked away. Bet followed and jogged to catch up with her.
“I can’t solo today, Liddy. I just can’t.”
“You can get all tied up if you want. It’s your choice. You’ve worked hard to be ready for today.”
“It’s not the crash, well not just the crash. I’ve never flown alone,” Bet confessed.
“What?”
“I’ve never actually soloed, no one else in the plane, never just me.”
Liddy shook her head at Bet. “There’s other girls who haven’t soloed.”
“I just can’t do this.”
“Look, Bet, male cadets come into pilot training for the Army without having flown at all. You’ve had the same instruction they get, and then some. You just need to get up there and do what you know how to do.”
“I’m not ready. You don’t understand. It’s like breathing to you. I just feel like there’s something, some mystery that I haven’t figured out yet, that someone forgot to tell me, and if I go up alone, I’m going to realize what it is and it’ll be too late.”
“There’s no mystery, Bet. You can do this. I know you can, but not doing it is an option.”
“But I want to do it.”
“You just said you didn’t want to do it.”
“No, I said I can’t do it.”
“Well you’re wrong there. You can.” Liddy held Bet by the shoulders. “You can, you can, you can!”
Liddy walked with Bet to the bays to grab their gear. She tried to get Bet’s mind off her solo, but her little friend kept asking questions about angles, patterns and speeds like she was in a race for information. Bet didn’t trust herself in the air and Liddy no longer trusted herself on the ground. Both of them needed to get a grip.
The soloing class marched past the wishing well and each of them flipped a coin into the air above the water. As they hit the surface, it looked like it was being pierced with a storm of big fat rain drops.
The troop continued to the flight boards where they lined up in front of the base command. Colonel Wate addressed the class, “Ladies, there was an awful tragedy today. It is a loss for which we are all deeply saddened. But the acceptance of certain risks is a fact of any line of military service. It is necessary that we do not let these events deter us from moving forward with the training for which you have all sacrificed so much.” The Colonel had to take some pauses, but he eventually got through what he had to say. Then he sent the trainees out to the line.
Liddy, Bet, Louise and Carla sat on a bench waiting for Lewis Gant to speak. He ran his hands through his hair and then set them on his hips. Gant was shaken, but he still offered up a gruff and somehow encouraging pep talk to their flight group, minus one, “You will lift, circle the pattern and shoot three landings. Whatever you do, don’t get up there and panic yourself out of landing at all. When I was in the CPT a student did just that. He flew round and round the field until he ran out of gas, stalled and crashed. Get up, get down. Alright who wants to go first?”
Liddy stood up as Gant knew she would. “Okay, Hall, show them how it’s done.”
Liddy walked out to the strip as the others looked on. She took off without hesitation and traveled the pattern. She came in and greased her first landing. Took off again, brought it back down and greased number two. Up again and back in for number three.
“Boy, she makes it look easy,” said Bet.
“It is easy,” said Louise, and she squeezed Bet’s hand. “You’re gonna do great.”