Adam gave me a look, but the roads were still not good. He couldn’t take his eyes off them for long.
I didn’t pause long enough for the vampire on the other end of the phone connection to say anything.
“Life is short,” I said, “and we’re not getting any younger. What would you give if you could look ten years younger and increase your energy at the same time? Here at Intrasity Living, we are so proud of our products and the help they provide to people who are tired and beaten down by life.”
And I spent about five minutes doing my best imitation of Jesse’s best friend’s mother’s multilevel marketing speech—surprised at how much of it I remembered. I was waxing poetic about how our Good Vibrations essential oil blend not only had proven effective in fighting male-pattern baldness but also lowered blood pressure when Bonarata disconnected without ever having said a word.
“Take that, you bastard,” I said, still clinging to my fake accent. “Bless your heart.”
Adam cracked up. I was fiercely proud that it took him a good few minutes before he calmed down enough to talk.
“Where did that come from?” he asked.
“Did I mention that Grandmother Spider was urged to decorate Uncle Mike’s pub by her good friend Baba Yaga?” I said.
Intrasity Living was owned and operated by the witch Tracy LaBella—otherwise known as Baba Yaga. I had the impression that she was both amused by and passionate about her business.
“Ah,” Adam said, obviously making the connection.
I leaned over and put my forehead on his arm. “This didn’t solve anything,” I said.
“I know,” he agreed.
We traveled maybe twenty miles in silence. Bonarata wasn’t the kind of problem I could fight with essential oils, not even oils blessed by Baba Yaga for general public consumption.
Finally, Adam—still keeping his eyes on the road—raised my hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. I sighed and kissed the closest part of his body, which happened to be the top of his shoulder.
“I kept waiting, but you didn’t tell him that the orange essential oil raises the humble brownie to ambrosia level,” Adam said.
“He doesn’t deserve good brownies,” I told him.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Sincere thanks to the people who helped me get this book in its proper shape: Collin Briggs, Linda Campbell, Dave Carson, Katharine Carson, Dan dos Santos, Ann “My Trusty Assistant” Peters, Kaye Roberson, and Anne Sowards. Michael and Susann Bock made sure that Zee’s German is correct, for which he thanks them. Also a shout-out to Jolene and Bob Briggs, who helped me get a phrase just right.
And thanks to my team at Ace: the art director, Judith Lagerman; the eagle-eyed production editor, Michelle Kasper; my marketing and publicity team, Jessica Plummer, Danielle Keir, and Stephanie Felty; and my editor Anne’s assistants, Gabbie Pachon and Annie Odders. It truly takes a village.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Patricia Briggs is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Mercy Thompson urban fantasy series (Soul Taken, Smoke Bitten) and the Alpha and Omega novels (Wild Sign, Burn Bright).