I felt myself rising to the top of the snow as I was pulled feet first into the woods. I could hear the machine laboring through the drifts. Then when we were on the trail he opened it up. The rope strained at the sudden acceleration, almost snapping. And then I became a body in motion. I felt nothing but speed and the smooth blanket of snow beneath me, almost without friction. The snow blew into my face like a thousand tiny needles.
They dragged me for some period of time I could not even register. Then the machines stopped. I heard voices. Words with no meaning. I couldn’t feel my face. I couldn’t feel my hands. I tried to sit up, to look around me. Through the snow in my eyelashes I saw only trees and more snow. They’re taking me into the forest, I thought. They’re taking the trail due west, away from town, into the heart of the wilderness. Nobody will see them.
But why have they stopped here? I tried to clear my head and listen to them. Two men were yelling at each other. Fuck you. No, fuck you. You’re fucking crazy. Let’s just go then.
The machines roared again. This time they were coming right at me. I tried to cover my head, but it was useless. I could barely bend at the middle. The machines passed on either side of me. I could feel the rope pull tight against my body, digging into my neck, and then a sudden violent jerk. My legs were whipped sideways and my whole body flipped over. I hit the ground with my face. I could feel the warm blood flowing from my nose.
They’re pulling me back, I thought. Back toward my cabin. I have to stay conscious. I have to think. Somebody has to see me. Somebody else out on the trail. It’s my only chance.
I tried to look, tried to keep my eyes open against the onslaught of snow in my face. There was nothing but white.
Until the tree.
I didn’t see it until a split second before it hit me. I tried to roll away from it, but it caught me in the ribs, right where Bruckman had already nailed me. It knocked all the air out of my body and sent a shooting pain from my right arm all the way down to my leg.
This is it, I thought. This is how it ends.
We stopped. I was off the trail, back in the deep snow. I sank into it, fighting for my breath.
Breathe, goddamn it. Breathe.
Bruckman’s face appeared above mine. He bent down over me. “Are you gonna tell me where it is?” he said.
Breathe. Take a breath.
“I’ll kill you,” he said. “I’ll kill you right here.”
One breath. Please.
“Where is it?” he screamed. “Tell me where it is!”
“He doesn’t know!” a voice behind him said. “Can’t you see that? How stupid are you?”
Bruckman’s face was gone. I looked up at the branches and the clouds and the snowflakes falling down upon my face. From a thousand miles away I heard the voices blending into one.
“The fuck is wrong with you, anyway?… I’ll show you what’s wrong with me… What’re we gonna do, drag his ass all the way back with us?
… Yeah, that’s what we’re gonna do… All the way back over the river, that’s what we’re gonna do… Yeah, that’s what we’re gonna do… You’re so fucking crazy. Stuff has fucked you up so bad you can’t even think straight anymore… Just get the fuck out of the way, then… My pleasure, Captain Fuckhead. I’m outta here.”
A single machine taking off again. Then another. I waited for the pull. I tried to tense my body but I couldn’t even do that anymore. I was dead weight now.
Motion. Slow at first, like before. When we hit the trail he’ll open it up again. Can’t hold on much longer.
Can’t hold on.
No. I must fight it. One more try.
I picked my head up. I opened my eyes.
From the tree. A sudden movement. Something hitting the driver from the side. He is down. The snowmobile has stopped. I am looking at it like it is something in a dream. A snowmobile with no rider on it.
A man. He has a big knife. The biggest knife I have ever seen. He is cutting the rope. He is not wearing a helmet like the riders. I know the man. I have seen him before in my dreams.
Another man. I know him, too. I have seen him in the same dream. He is fighting with the rider. The rider still has his helmet on. They are wrestling in the snow. It is all happening in slow motion.
A gunshot rips through the dream.
“Don’t shoot me, you idiot!”
I know that voice.
More gunshots. And then a man’s body covering mine, the impact hard enough to wake me, to chase away the warm numbness in my body. I am cold again. And I am in more pain than I have ever felt before.
I heard the whine of the snowmobiles, the sound getting smaller and smaller until finally there was only the sound of his breath against my ear. “Don’t worry, Alex,” the voice whispered to me. It was Vinnie. “They’re gone.”
Vinnie rolled off me, sat up next to me. Leon knelt down on the other side of me.
“Help is on the way,” Vinnie said.
“You’re gonna be okay, partner,” Leon said.
I tried to speak. Finally, a short breath. And then another. “I…” I couldn’t say any more.
“Don’t move,” Vinnie said. “Don’t try to talk.”
“Just relax,” Leon said. “They’ll be here any minute.”
“I…” I took as much of a breath as I could, swallowed hard and then tried again. “I… hate…”
They looked down at me. The snow continued to fall all around us.
“I… hate…” I said. And then with my last ounce of strength, I finished the sentence: “… snowmobiles.” And then I was out.
CHAPTER TWELVE
When I opened my eyes, I saw white ceiling tiles and a fluorescent light that seemed a thousand times too bright. Then the faces of strangers with white masks on. They were doing something to my side. I felt a vague tugging in my ribs. Then I did not see them anymore and felt nothing but a dull ache all over my body that gave way to a soft rolling sensation like I was lying in a boat in the middle of Lake Superior on a calm day.
I saw Leon’s face for a moment. Then Vinnie’s.
I slept. When I opened my eyes again the room was empty. I looked over at the door. There was a window in the door, where anyone in the hallway could look into the room and see me lying there. There was a man standing there. He was watching me. He had a blue hunting cap on. The flaps were hanging over his ears. I tried to speak but I couldn’t.
I slept again. For an hour or a day or a year. This time when I awoke I felt like I was really awake for the first time since I had come to this place. The pain was stronger now. A lot stronger.
My head hurt, especially over my left eye. My mouth hurt. My legs hurt. More than anything else, my right side hurt. Besides the pain, there was something else. What was it? I lifted my left hand and reached across my body. There was a plastic tube there. It came right out of my body and ran to a machine that was sitting next to the bed. The machine was humming away, doing whatever the hell it was supposed to do to me. God, what was it doing? I felt the tube. It was hollow. It was…
Air.
The machine was pumping air into me.
I can’t breathe anymore. I’m hooked up to this machine because I can’t breathe on my own. Am I paralyzed? No, I can’t be. I’m moving my arm. How about the rest of me?
I moved my legs. I tried to sit up. Pain shot through my ribs.
“Bad idea,” a voice said.
“Who is it?” I said.
“I’m Dr. Glenn.” He appeared next to me, lifting the sheet to look at my right side. He was a tall man, with a beard and eyes that looked right through me. “And you, sir, should not be moving yet.” He measured out every word like it was another form of medicine.
“What happened to me?” I said. “Where am I?”
“You are in the War Memorial Hospital in Sault Ste. Marie. You have been here since yesterday afternoon.”
“Why am I hooked up to this machine?”
“Do not be alarmed,” he said. “It is just to help keep your lung inflated.”